AN ANCIENT GATE THAT BARES ITS TEETH

There is a well-known anecdote in Journey to the West： when the Monkey King offended a God and was hunted down， he transformed himself into a small temple but still couldnt get away. When this photo of a 100-year-old building in Xian became popular online， people couldnt help wondering whether this was exactly what the Monkey King turned into—not exactly the best disguise. The building used to be a village entrance gate in Xian City， where there were once many gates but the brutal march of progress has seen many dismantled， leaving only this one. Indeed， how cruel it would be to dismantle such a cute， teeth-baring gate？ - GINGER HUANG （黃原竟）.

WHO NEEDS CHENGGUAN WHEN THERES DOG-GUAN？

Tropical storm Trami sent a little dog into hiding in a park in Fujian Province this August. Park workers named him Ludan （鹵蛋， soy sauce egg） after his favorite food. It turned out that Ludan got a new job along with his new home. He quickly set about guarding the park against ticket evaders， easily distinguishing those who bought tickets from those who did not. He would furiously start barking if anyone was acting suspiciously and once even pulled the shoe off a man trying to jump the wall， dutifully delivering it to his new masters and foiling the wall-jumpers plan. Ever vigilant， Ludan is currently working overtime and has been spotted on video surveillance， cruising the park for trespassers at night. - G.H.

A CITY DETERMINED TO STAY IN THE PAST

Changsha is the capital city of Hunan Province and the hometown of Mao Zedong. Decades after Maos era， the city is still charged with blood-boiling revolutionary spirit. The city loves parades and sloganshouting in the Cultural Revolutionary style more than anywhere else， and it always looks back at Maos era with profound nostalgia. Following a series of protests in May， in which protesters tagged an economist holding critical views of Mao a “dirty traitor”， Changsha made another move paying tribute to the 1950s in October： setting up a 30-meter tall sculpture of Lei Feng （雷鋒）， the moral idol of the 1960s， at the crossing of Lei Feng Road. In propaganda materials， Lei Feng allegedly spent his lifetime doing various good deeds. The new sculpture is built as a symbol of the immortality of Leis spirit—gazing over the citys prosperous transformations. - G.H.

MOONCAKES RUINING MOONCAKE DAY

Mooncakes—the traditional food eaten during the Mid-Autumn Festival—may have its fans （not that we know any）， but for most young Chinese， the hard， greasy cakes are simply the food you have to quietly swallow for traditions sake—like the English and Brussels sprouts at Christmas. For some， mooncake fillings can just about pass as edible， but as culinary delights go， wuren （五仁， five kinds of nuts） flavor is up there alongside poison. An online slogan， “Wuren， get out of the mooncake family！” （五仁，滾出月餅界！W^r9n， g^n ch$ yu-bingji-?。?became a headline for numerous newspapers on the holiday. But it didnt damage sales； wuren moon cakes remain a firm favorite of the older generation. Looks like the younguns are going to stick with re-gifting for now. - G.H.

ACHY BREAKY HEART

A Nanjing subway station recently received complaints about its music； for three years it has repeatedly played a song called“A Friendly Break-up” （《好心分手》H2ox～n F8nsh6u）， making the station torture for many. The station responded by saying it has other songs but a station employee decided to play this song continuously when he broke up with his girlfriend three years ago. Why he thought playing a song about a break-up non-stop for three years would help is anyones guess. In an interview with the Oriental Morning Post the employees colleague said： “Im sick of the song too. It has been three years， and we hoped he would come out of the trauma of the relationship sooner.” The station has now stopped playing the song， opting for classical piano instead. - G.H.

FAN BINGBING FANS FAN AIRPORT CONFUSION

Two women were recently detained at Zhuhai Customs， Guangzhou， as they looked nothing like their passport photos and instead both resembled Chinese film star， Fan Bingbing （范冰冰）. While one of the fake Fans was being investigated， passengers kept approaching her and asking if she was the real deal. Fan is considered one of Chinas most beautiful women and is the go-to face for people wanting plastic surgery. As the customs official said：“By 10 am， we already encountered two women who looked like Fan Bingbing， but the number of Fan Bingbings passing each day is many more than that.” - G.H.

WEIBO

丁來(lái)峰：放現(xiàn)在來(lái)說(shuō)，孔子是典型的大V，政府可不吃他那一套了。他要是收一堆徒弟講學(xué)或者街頭發(fā)表演講，就治個(gè)聚眾擾亂社會(huì)秩序罪；要是隨便發(fā)表政見(jiàn)，不讓出版不說(shuō)，隨時(shí)傳喚喝茶。

王錚：一些大V是對(duì)社會(huì)逆反的犬儒主義者。對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)沒(méi)有肯定與批評(píng)，只有敵意；沒(méi)有建設(shè)性思考，只有破字當(dāng)頭的造反精神；沒(méi)有大眾利益，只有早該消失的早年積累的厭恨。

吳祚來(lái)：有時(shí)候我想替政府說(shuō)句話(huà)，政府不容易呀。為了發(fā)展網(wǎng)絡(luò)經(jīng)濟(jì)，所以打壓紙媒，讓真話(huà)與有趣存在于網(wǎng)絡(luò)中，這樣減少紙質(zhì)出版，對(duì)環(huán)境生態(tài)有利。政府發(fā)展網(wǎng)絡(luò)微博，所以打壓論壇與博客?，F(xiàn)在政府想發(fā)展微信，所以打壓一下微博大

V，許多大V在微博上不能發(fā)言，但政府說(shuō)，你們可以在微信上發(fā)言啊。

Weibo celebrities are known as “Big-Vs”. Initially this meant having a cutesy little V next to their name， standing for“Verifi ed”. Nowadays， a Big-V is just somebody who has gazillions of Weibo fans—whether they have a V or not. Thus far they have， aside from being boorishly vain， been infl uential and given considerable freedom to criticize. Not any more； in September alone， three of them—Xue Manzi， Wang Gongquan and Huazong—were arrested for solicitation， disrupting social order， and extortion respectively. Bad boys！ As ever， the Chinese internet had a fair bit to say on the matter.

Ding Laifeng： If Confucius was in modern China， he would be a typical “Big-V”， but the government wouldnt be nice to him. If he recruited students to spread his teaching or gave a speech in public， he would be charged with “assembling a crowd to disrupt the social order”； if he criticized too freely， he would not get published but become a regular guest of the PSB.

Wang Zheng： Some Big-Vs are anti-society cynics who neither approve nor criticize； they are simply hostile. They offer no constructive thinking but only destructive rebellion. They are not concerned about peoples welfare， but only care about their own hatred accumulated over many years that should be long gone.

Wu Zuolai： I want to speak on behalf of the government. Being the government is not easy. In order to boost the internet economy， it cracked down on paper publication so that truth and interesting stuff can be spread online. Paper publications reduced， benefiting the environment. And， in order to help the development of Weibo， the government cracked down on forums and blogs. Now the government wants to popularize WeChat， so it cracked down on the Big-Vs on Weibo， freezing their accounts. When the Big-Vs lost ground on Weibo， the government says， you can still speak on WeChat！

WHACK

洪晃：一方面，一個(gè)16歲少年成為轉(zhuǎn)500的第一個(gè)懲罰對(duì)象，另一方面微博上一條廣告公開(kāi)喧嚷：“用大V的賬號(hào)，罵老板”。點(diǎn)開(kāi)，廣告主居然是《時(shí)尚芭莎》！那如果罵得不屬實(shí)，《芭莎》該當(dāng)何罪？

神筆記：有個(gè)問(wèn)題一直困擾著我。假如有一個(gè)人發(fā)了個(gè)微博，說(shuō)他即將被送進(jìn)監(jiān)獄。如果他真的是造謠的，那么警察就可以把他給抓起來(lái)，并且送進(jìn)監(jiān)獄?？墒沁@樣一來(lái)的話(huà)，他就不算造謠了。既然不算造謠了，那是不是就不該抓起來(lái)呢？如果不抓起來(lái)，他就是涉嫌造謠，就該抓去監(jiān)獄。哎……好頭疼哦。

Hong Huang： On the one hand， a 16-year-old became the first person punished under the new “500 forwards” rule； on the other， I saw an advertisement on Weibo， “Insult your boss with a Big-V account！” I clicked and it was an ad for Harpers Bazaar！ If the insults are made up， should the magazine be punished？

Stunning Notes： One question has been bothering me： if someone posted on Weibo saying that he is about to be sent to jail—if he is making it up， the police are justified arresting him and sending him to jail. But that would make him an honest man. If its not a rumor， then shouldnt he be arrested？ If he is not arrested， he should be charged with spreading a rumor and jailed. Uhh… my head aches.

500 STRIKES AND YOURE OUT

September saw a new law that will be used to control the internet—if a user writes an untrue rumor online and it is forwarded over 500 times， the rumor maker will be arrested. And which evil， anarchic dissident was the fi rst to feel the （very， very） long arm of the law？ You got it， a 16-year-old middle school student.

THE DEATH OF MAO

On September 9， 1976， Mao Zedong died， ending an era； a month later the Cultural Revolution ended too. On the same day this year， many people were whimsical and spent time micro-blogging their shock， fear， and introspection.

王曉漁：37年前的今天，大V毛主席同志用實(shí)際行動(dòng)粉碎了“毛主席萬(wàn)歲”的大謠。

陳建新：三十七年前的今天，我在放學(xué)回家的路上聽(tīng)說(shuō)毛主席死了。我極度震驚：他怎么死了？他怎么也會(huì)死？須知，誰(shuí)要是把這個(gè)人的名字和“死”聯(lián)系在一起，那就是犯罪??！感謝這個(gè)人，他以自己的死，在我們幼小的心靈中播下了懷疑的種子。

好老虎：37年前的今天，下午課間，我厚顏無(wú)恥地號(hào)哭著，從捂臉的指縫盯著教室門(mén)，生怕班主任劉老師進(jìn)來(lái)看不到我的忠誠(chéng)和熱愛(ài)?，F(xiàn)在，我清楚地知道： 如果我的后代還得因?yàn)榭謶侄パb模作樣，我就白活了！

Wang Xiaoyu： On this same day 37 years ago， Comrade Mao Zedong， a Big-V， smashed the widespread rumor “Long Live Chairman Mao”with practical actions.

Chen Jianxin： On this same day 37 years ago， I heard of the news that Mao died on my way home from school. I was shocked—how could he die？ Can the man ever die？ You have to know that whoever connected his name with death was a criminal！ Thank he who disseminated the seeds of skepticism in our tender young hearts with his own death.

Good Tiger： On this same day 37 years ago， I cried and howled shamelessly during the afternoon break and peered at the classroom door， afraid that our head teacher Liu couldnt see my loyalty and love for Mao on entering. Now I know this for sure： If my children still have to pretend out of fear， then its as if I havent lived at all！