伍迪·艾倫寫過的精彩段子

話說喜劇大師伍迪·艾倫，戲里戲外都絮叨了不少又逗又精辟的句子，這些話透著一股詼諧和哲理，大家快來感受下吧。

My brain： its my second favorite organ.

我的大腦是我第二喜歡的器官。

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better， while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

世上大體分成好壞兩種人，好人晚上睡得踏實(shí)，而壞人更享受醒著的時間。

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

我人生的一大遺憾就是我不是別人。

When I was kidnapped， my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

當(dāng)我被綁架后，我父母立即采取了行動——他們把我的房間租了出去。

Annie： Its so clean out here.

Singer： Because they dont throw garbage away. They make it into TV shows.

安妮：這里（指好萊塢比弗利山）真干凈啊。

辛格：因?yàn)樗麄儾蝗永?，他們把垃圾都做成了電視劇?/p>

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam； I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

我在玄學(xué)考試時因作弊被開除了，我偷看了我旁邊男生的靈魂。

The most beautiful words in the English language arent “I love you” but “its benign.”

英語中最美的詞句不是“我愛你”，而是“你的腫瘤是良性的”。

幽默可樂（Humor Cola）

換 腦

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

"You have your choice of two brains，" he told the patient， "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist， or for $10，000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better？" he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied， "No， its not better， just unused."

一個外科醫(yī)生正要做一個腦移植手術(shù)。

“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫(yī)生告訴病人，“一個心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個政客的大腦10000美元?！?/p>

病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政客的大腦好一些嗎？”他問。

醫(yī)生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”

激發(fā)大腦潛能五法

If you're in a bit of a slump， it might be due to your brain being a bit bored. Sticking to the same daily routine is like eating just white rice everyday for your noggin. Playing games with your mind keeps you sharp and boosts memory retention and powers of reasoning. Try these five fun and free activities to stimulate your brain.

如果你心情有點(diǎn)低落，可能是因?yàn)槟阌X得有點(diǎn)無聊了。每天做同樣的事就像每天只吃米飯一樣無趣。玩思維游戲會讓大腦靈活、提高記憶力和思考能力。試試下面五個不用花錢的有趣活動來激發(fā)你的大腦潛能。

1. Use the opposite hand： If you're right-handed， become a lefty for the day. Simply switching the hand you usually use for routine tasks gets your brain thinking in a different way. When brushing your teeth， use the opposite hand. Eating？ Use the opposite hand. You can really test yourself and try writing an entire day while using your less-used hand.

1.換手做事：如果你是右撇子，用左手做一天事。用另一只手做日常任務(wù)可以讓大腦換種方式思考。用另一只手刷牙，吃東西也是。你可以測試自己，試著用不常用的那只手寫一整天的字。

2. Talk to yourself： Pick one hour a day to verbally discuss anything and everything with yourself. Describe what you see， what you're doing， your afternoon plans， or what you'd like to make for dinner vocally instead of keeping it locked up in your head. Sure， you might look like a total nutso， which makes this activity best kept for when you are on your own， but talking while thinking is a great brain booster. And you might find solutions to problems you've been struggling with or that stresses voiced make for a better night's sleep.

2.和自己說話：每天花一小時和自己討論，什么事都可以。說說你看到的東西、你在做的事、下午的計(jì)劃，或者想做什么晚餐而不是只在大腦中思考。當(dāng)然，你可能看起來像神經(jīng)病，這個活動最好是只有自己一個人的時候做，但是邊做邊想對促進(jìn)思維大有幫助。你可能會解決一直頭疼的問題，說出壓力也會讓晚上睡得更好。

3. Write down your dreams：You can write out aspirations and goals as a reminder， but keeping a pen and paper next to your bed for recording your sleeping dreams is a fun way to get your brain thinking. Along with boosting memory， attempting to unlock the mystery and hidden meanings behind your snoozing brain is one way to get to know yourself better.

3.寫下夢境：你可以寫下期望和目標(biāo)作為提醒，但把紙和筆放在床邊記錄睡覺時做的夢是個能讓大腦思考的有趣方式。除了提高記憶力，試圖解開沉睡大腦的秘密和隱藏含義也能讓你更好地了解自己。

4. Wash your hair with your eyes closed： Your senses are what helps your brain make decisions and build connections， but we often rely too heavily on one or two senses， leaving the others behind. Stimulate your brain and close your eyes while washing your hair， eating， or putting on your clothes. Along with being a fun challenge， your brain is encouraged to use those other senses that have been forgotten about.

4.閉著眼睛洗頭：你的感官幫助大腦做出決定并建立聯(lián)系，但我們往往過于依賴某個或某兩個感官，沒有注意其他的。當(dāng)你洗頭、吃東西或穿衣服時閉上眼睛，讓大腦運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)。這不僅是個有趣的挑戰(zhàn)，你的大腦也會調(diào)動那些被忘記的感官。

5. Walk on： Just like the body， our brain needs physical exercise too. A steady walk increases blood circulation， which encourages cerebral blood vessels to grow and enhances energy production and waste removal. And walking isn't strenuous and can be done anywhere anytime.

5.行走：和身體一樣，我們的大腦也需要鍛煉。穩(wěn)步行走，能增強(qiáng)血液循環(huán)讓腦血管生長、提高體力以及除去無用之物。步行并不是劇烈運(yùn)動，可以隨時隨地做。