By Yan Gang

Obedience Is Filial Piety

By Yan Gang

M y father reached the age of 80 in 1986 and had long beenthechampionof longevity in our Yan family.What's more,he ate properly and had an acute mind,with no healthy problems found in physical examinations.

We planned a birthday celebration for him on January 15 on the lunar calendar.This time,my father,who had never allowed anyone to even mention celebrating his birthday all his life,agreed briskly when we talked about it with him.

In fact,all members of our big extendedfamily,beingtheyoldor young,were unassuming people who opposed extravagance and waste.Following my father's will,we only informed his children,grandchildren and children-in-laws as well as their young toddlers and snot-nosed babies in their arms,while keeping it a secret from others.He said,"As an expression of my good will,I'll pay for the dinner as a treat for the guests.Using the 200 yuan provided by County CPPCC at the end of last year,I'll book several banquet tables in a restaurant,where you guys can enjoy a good meal,and have a good time together to your utmost."

In 1992,I suggested Father go to live with my family in Beijing.But Father had formed such a strong attachment to the hometown that he rejected it anyway.I didn't give up.After I've used all my powers of persuasion on him,he finally changed his mind and agreed.Then,he insisted not buying a sleeping train ticket,"I would rather squat on the ground in my train to Beijing",he said.

Judging from his good health,I believe,Father living to 90 years old is not a problem.I took good care of his daily life in Beijing,and I found that he had no serious health problems,except for a mild constipation.He ate and slept very well,watched TV every night,and kept a habit of reading newspapers every day.He even readlong novels likeEmperor Qianlong, which includes three to four hundred thousand characters.

Staying in Beijing for about a year, Father wanted to return to Shanxi.He was too shy to tell me about his idea. Instead,he had my younger sister in Shenzhen,as well as my nephew who has recently visited Beijing,reveal his intension to me.Of course,I showed my disproval.It has been my dream to be able to pick up my father to live in Beijing.Since we didn't have our own house before,the dream didn't come true.Now things changed.We are allocated a specious apartment,and it took us great effort to persuade Father to move in,how can we let him go back home so soon?

But unfortunately,it didn't last long before Father went back to his idea of going back.This time,he himself talked with me.He said something I was so shocked and remembered to this day,"Just let me home,son.Living here means fish out of water for me.I'm afraid I can't stand it any longer."

"It's freezing cold now.Please wait till next spring."

"Nonsense.I've been living too long to be frozen to death."

I knew Father well.Although he didn't talk much,he thought very carefully before making a decision.Besides,once making a decision,he meant what he said,without announcing it twice.

I asked a favor from a writer from Xianyang named Chen Hai,and his wife to accompany my father on his trip home.My father knew him and appreciated his plainness and uprightness.On a chilly night,we hurried to the Beijing Railway Station.

Walking with a stick,my father slowly moved forward,leaving some footsteps on the snow.As the train was about to depart soon,I asked my son to carry his grandpa on his back, to which my father refused,"We could make it."I knew my father prided himself so much on his physical fitness that he would never allow anybody to help him while he was walk ing and would angrily shake their arms off if one tried to do so,let alone carrying him on the back.

I turned a little frustrated,"What do you mean by we could make it?What if we couldn't?""Come on!Carry your grandpa on your back."No sooner did we enter our carriage than the bell rang for departure.My father muttered to himself,"I'm really old,and can't do anything now."

After returning to his home town for about one month,he passed away.On January 16,my cousin made a long distance call,telling me that my father couldn't eat or drink anything and was having an infusion.On January 20,my nephew called to inform me that my father passed away in the morning.

I was deadly regretful.Knowing perfectly well of the chilly weather and father's old age,why did I let him go back?Nicknamed old kids,old men were like little kids.Why didn't I stop him from being so self-willed as a kid?

Wearing a black armband,I pushed my way onto the westbound train. With my heart beating to the rhythm of the clacking train,I approached my father every second,every minute. When I stepped onto the land of Liquan,it was already dark.

Kneeling on the ground before my father's portrait,I kowtowed to him three times.Tears flowing inside of me,and a tide of emotions surging through me,I blacked out.Feeling extremely dizzy,I couldn't come back from the hallucinations for a long time.My nephews strenuously pulled me up and supported me by the arm. "That's grandpa's will."they pointed to the curtain in the mourning hall.

"My will:our traditional family ethics are being diligent and thrifty in running the household,being thick in supporting the elderly but thin in burial.I request a simple funeral after I die,and my remains should be cremated.I shall expect a complete fulfillment of my will to refine the old custom.Obedience is filial piety.This is my will."

I decided to move to the little hut my father used to live in.Sleeping on the wooden bed on which he used to sleep,and trying to dream of what had dreamed of,I submerged myself in an attempt to review his feeling as a forefather and his complex mentality during the time his life was fading.

(FromThe Deepest Love is Mercy, Changchun Publishing House.Illustration:Jia Lin)