陳行之

加繆在《西西弗的神話》中表述了這樣一個觀點：荒誕之所以產生，是因為世界未能滿足我們對意義的要求。這個表述精準地表述了人類的某種精神處境，然而它同時還會使人以為，世界如果不是出現(xiàn)在我們眼前的這個樣子，而是呈現(xiàn)出另一種可愛得多的品貌，那么它是有可能滿足我們那些要求的，于是人們就產生出了強烈的改造世界的沖動，試圖使世界至少在我們的生存領域3變得不那么難于忍受，甚或達到某種理想的恬適狀態(tài)。所有的社會革命、群體沖突、個人事件都是在這種情況下發(fā)生的。

不能說加繆的論斷有什么問題，世界的確遠非我們想象的那樣完美，無論在政治、經(jīng)濟與文化領域，還是在瑣碎的日常生活里，我們的確經(jīng)常陷入到種種難于解脫的人生困局當中。我們當然想改變這種狀況，為了追求完美和幸福，我們做過很多的努力，我們幾乎精疲力竭了4。然而我們能不能據(jù)此就把荒誕全部解釋為由于世界與個體的緊張關系才導致出現(xiàn)一系列人生困局的唯一緣由呢？我認為不能，我們不能這樣解釋，這樣的解釋是膚淺的、不全面的，如果仔細讀過《西西弗的神話》，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)，作為哲學家的加繆的本意也并不在這里。

是的，我們的確做過很大努力來消解荒誕，譬如選擇一項為之獻身的事業(yè)，為某一部分人群或者某一個人擔負起道義的責任，在推動社會進步中確認自我的價值6，等等。即便是這樣，在某些瞬間，我們仍然會感覺到荒誕的存在，它就在那里——掩藏在一國最高會議的莊嚴帷幕后邊，跳躍在親朋好友開懷暢飲的杯盞之間，甚至在?？菔癄€的愛情表白中，也可以看到它俏皮地跳來跳去;在令人敬仰的利他主義行為深處，我們也能夠看到它匆忙的身影;它就在我們目力所及的地方，用略帶譏誚的眼神看著我們，意思是說：“我全知道，我全都知道了?！边@時候我們往往會覺得虛弱不堪，覺得所有有形的東西都在消解為無形，世間萬物——一切有形的東西——都在離我而去，荒誕甚至會解構支撐我們站立的歷史感和莊嚴感，讓我們看到滑稽，看到虛無，讓我們在空虛與無聊中感覺到腳下的土地正在松動……這又是為什么呢？

我的見解是：荒誕早在人性誕生之際就隨之產生了，因為具有精神形態(tài)的人（恰恰是這一點把他從動物界分離出來了）的存在方式，是一種用意義維系的方式，非如此他將不在。荒誕既是人性之因，又是人性之果。人類之所以無論做怎樣的努力都難以擺脫和戰(zhàn)勝荒誕，就是因為它深深地扎根于我們的靈魂世界，它與我們須臾不可相離。它簡直就是我們自身，戰(zhàn)勝了它，我們自身仿佛也就不存在了。換一句話說，在我們對意義的求索中，我們的對象不僅僅是世界，更是我們自己，是隱藏在沉重肉身里面的那個被稱之為靈魂的東西。我們所有的糾結，所有的困窘，所有的惶惑，都源自我們敏感的心靈對意義的追索，正是這個東西造成了我們靈魂世界的動蕩不安。

所以，與其把荒誕解釋成為我們與世界的沖突，毋寧解釋為我們內心的沖突;荒誕不僅僅是世界的特征，更是我們靈魂的特征。如果對其做動態(tài)表述，那么我們可以認為：它無休無止，無始無終，它就像是一條煙波浩渺的江河，我們只能徒然地被它裹挾著前行，我們根本不知道我們最終要到達什么地方。這對誰都一樣。

Absurdity results when the world fails to satisfy our thirst for meaning， said Albert Camus in his collection of philosophical essays， Le Mythe de Sisyphe. This statement reflects a spiritual plight of humankind as a whole. However， it also prompts us to think that， if the world were not like this but instead presented a far more enchanting scenario， it might have met that demand of ours. Hence our strong， inner urge to reform the world—an attempt to make the immediate circumstances of our life more tolerable or even somewhat lyrically pleasant. Social revolutions， factional conflicts， or incidents involving one individual or another， all happen under such conditions.

What Camus said is hardly refutable： the world does fall below our expectations. Whether in the political， economic or cultural field， or when dealing with trivialities of everyday life， we do encounter many a thorny problem. Of course， we want to improve this state of affairs. To attain perfection and happiness， we have struggled to the point of exhausting ourselves. But can we thus attribute absurdity， namely that whole series of troubles forced onto us by life itself5， only to the tension between the world and individuals therein？ Probably not， for such an explanation is shallow and incomplete. A closer reading of Le Mythe de Sisyph would reveal that Camus the philosopher cannot have meant only this.

True， we have tried to wipe out absurdity altogether. For example， we may have devoted ourselves to a worthy cause， working selflessly for the good of one or many fellow humans， or proving one’s personal worth in promoting social progress. Even so， we are on occasion still gripped with a sense of absurdity. It is right there， hidden behind the majestic curtains shielding a country’s highest-profile meeting， lurking among clinking glasses at a friends’ gathering， or even popping up when vows of undying love are being exchanged. We can see its sneaky form beyond the fa?ade of an “admirably altruistic” act; it is within our sight， looking half-mockingly at us as if to say， “I knew. I knew it all.” At such moments， we might feel weak and helpless， believing that all apparently existent things are being reduced to naught， forever falling away from us. Absurdity even goes so far as to shatter that sense of history and sublimity that used to hold us together. It makes us see the ludicrousness and emptiness in everything and feel the solid earth under our feet giving way…. But why has all this happened？

My belief is that absurdity was born at the dawn of humanity， for spiritual being， which alone lifts man from beast-hood， is a form of existence sustained by meaning. Otherwise， he will simply cease to exist. Absurdity is both the cause and effect of humanity. Man hardly has a chance of getting rid of or prevailing over absurdity， because it is deep-rooted in his spiritual world， not for an instant separable from him. It has become part of him. To defeat it is to render him irrelevant7. In other words， in his quest for meaning， man grapples not only with the external world but with himself as well. Here， the word “himself” refers to that heavy body of flesh trapped inside what is known as “the soul.” All his perplexities， fears and pain stem from his sensitive， inner self’s search for meaning. This leaves his spiritual world in a perpetually turbulent8 state.

So， absurdity should not be interpreted simply as our conflict with the outer world; it is， rather， a war raging deep within9. Absurdity is not only a distinguishing feature of the world; it is also the essence of our souls. If described more vividly， absurdity resembles an ever-flowing river， misty and mystical10， without a beginning or an end. We can only let it carry us along， not knowing where we are heading for. This is true for everybody.