(but you probably won’t like them)

I’m a middle school student from a small city in China. I’m not happy because of our teachers. They always sit in their office with air conditioning and send us outside to the playground. They play on their phones all they want, but ask us to behave in the classroom. I think it is not fair. What should I do?

Thirteen-Year-Old Jiang

Oh really?! That’s your biggest 危機?(w8ij~, crisis) in life? How cute! Quit 埋怨?(m1nyu3n, whining) because things will only get worse! You are clueless about real 煩惱?(f1nn2o, trouble), like 考大學?(k2o d3xu9, taking the college entrance exam), 找工作?(zh2o g4ngzu7, finding a job), and 找對象(zh2o du#xi3ng, finding a partner). Don’t even get me started on family problems! How would you like a 廢物?(f-iwu, good-for-nothing) for a son, and a demanding b-tch for a daughter?Just shut up and be content with the knowledge that, despite all their air conditioning and free cell phone time, your teachers are way more 痛苦?(t7ngk^, miserable) than you.

I love hutong bars! I know you have a hutong house. It must be so cool to live in your neighborhood.

Mike Ma

Yeah right, you spoiled little brat! Cut the 廢話?(f-ihu3, nonsense) about loving the 胡同文化?(h%t7ng w9nhu3, hutong culture). There’s nothing hutong about it! A drink in your beloved bar costs the same as a local’s weekly food stipend. You are the 破壞者?(p7hu3izh0, destroyers) of our peaceful life! Coming here and getting all 醉醺醺?(zu#x$nx$n, drunk) and 大吵大鬧?(d3ch2o-d3n3o, causing disturbance and being loud) late at night. And what the hell are these glass doors they installed, and weird-shaped lamps and music inside? Why are people drinking on the?房頂

(f1ngd@ng, roof)? Someone, please, get those 年輕人(ni1nq~ngr9n, young people) out of my neighborhood. They are too cheerful for my liking! Just 滾蛋?(g^nd3n, get out)!

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