本·約翰遜　程颋

Whilst the English penchant1 for manners and socially appropriate behaviour is renowned across the world， the word etiquette to which we so often refer actually originates from the French etiquette2―“to attach or stick”. Indeed the modern understanding of the word can be linked to the Court of the French King Louis XIV， who used small placards called etiquettes， as a reminder to courtiers of accepted “house rules3” such as not walking through certain areas of the palace gardens.

Every culture across the ages has been defined by the concept of etiquette and accepted social interaction. How-ever， it is the British―and the English in particular―who have historically been known to place a great deal of importance in good manners. Whether it be in relation to speech， timeliness4， body language or dining， politeness is key.

British etiquette dictates courteousness at all times， which means forming an orderly queue in a shop or for public transport， saying excuse me when someone is blocking your way and saying please and thank you for any service you have received is de rigueur5.

The British reputation for being reserved is not without merit. Overfamiliarity6 of personal space or behaviour is a big no-no！ When meeting someone for the first time a handshake is always preferable to a hug and a kiss on the cheek is reserved for close friends only. Asking personal questions about salary， relationship status， weight or age （particularly in the case of more “mature” ladies） is also frowned upon7.

Traditionally， one of the best examples of the British etiquette is the importance placed on punctuality. It is considered rude to arrive late to a business meeting， medical appointment or formal social occasion such as a wedding. As such it is advisable to arrive 5-10 minutes early to appear professional， prepared and unflustered8 as a mark of respect to your host. Conversely， should you arrive too early to a dinner party this could also appear slightly rude and ruin the atmosphere for the evening if the host is still completing their preparations. For the same reason an unannounced house call is often frowned upon for risk of inconveniencing the home owner.

Should you be invited to a British dinner party it is customary for a dinner guest to bring a gift for the host or hostess， such as a bottle of wine， a bouquet of flowers or chocolates. Good table manners are essential （particularly if you want to be invited back！） and unless you are attending a barbeque or an informal buffet it is frowned upon to use fingers rather than cutlery9 to eat. The cutlery should also be held correctly， i.e. the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the prongs10 pointing downwards and the food pushed onto the back of the fork with the knife rather than ‘scooped. At a formal dinner party when there are numerous utensils at your place setting it is customary to begin with the utensils on the outside and work your way inward with each course.

As the guest it is polite to wait until everyone at the table has been served and your host starts eating or indicates that you should do so. Once the meal has begun it is impolite to reach over someone elses plate for an item such as seasoning or a food platter; it is more considerate to ask for the item to be passed to you. Leaning your elbows on the table whilst you are eating is also considered rude.

Slurping or making other such loud noises whilst eating is completely frowned upon. As with yawning or coughing it is also considered very rude to chew open-mouthed or talk when there is still food in your mouth. These actions imply that a person was not brought up to adhere to good manners， a criticism against not only the offender but their family too！

Social classes

In days gone by it was common for young ladies to attend a finishing school11 to ensure their manners were up to scratch12. An attribute which was felt particularly crucial in securing a suitable husband！

Whilst today good manners and etiquette are seen as a sign of respect， particularly to those more senior （in either age or position）， in Victorian England when the class system was alive and well， etiquette was often used as a social weapon in the interests of social advancement or exclusion13.

The evolution of etiquette

Like the rest of the world， Britain has been influenced by the importance of corporate etiquette， with a shift in focus from the social or household setting to an emphasis on business etiquette and protocol14. For a business to succeed internationally it is important to be aware that what is considered good manners in one society may be rude to another. For instance the “okay” gesture―made by connecting the thumb and forefinger in a circle and holding the other fingers straight， is recognised in Britain and North America as a signal to question or confirm that a person is well or safe. However in parts of southern Europe and South America this is an offensive gesture.

Indeed， the rise in online business and social media sites has even seen the creation of a worldwide “online society”， necessitating its own rules of conduct， commonly referred to as Netiquette15， or network etiquette. These rules regarding the protocol for such communications as email， forums and blogs are constantly being redefined as the internet continues to evolve. So whilst the traditionally accepted behaviours of old may not have the influence they once did， it could be argued that etiquette is as crucial in todays society as it has ever been.

雖然英國(guó)人以注重教養(yǎng)和得體的社交舉止而聞名于世，但我們經(jīng)常提到的禮節(jié)一詞etiquette實(shí)際上來(lái)源于法語(yǔ)的etiquette（意為“粘貼”）。其實(shí)，現(xiàn)代對(duì)這個(gè)詞的理解可以追溯到法國(guó)國(guó)王路易十四的宮廷，他用被稱作etiquette的小告示提醒朝臣那些廣為接受的“宮廷規(guī)矩”，例如不可穿越宮廷花園的特定區(qū)域。

縱觀古今，每種文化都可以用禮節(jié)的概念和廣泛接受的社交行為來(lái)界定。然而，歷史上英國(guó)人，特別是英格蘭人以特別看重良好的教養(yǎng)而出名。無(wú)論是涉及講話、時(shí)間把握、身體語(yǔ)言還是進(jìn)餐，禮貌是關(guān)鍵。

英國(guó)的禮節(jié)要求一個(gè)人在任何時(shí)候都要有禮貌，這意味著按照社交禮節(jié)的要求，在商店購(gòu)物或搭乘公共交通工具時(shí)要有序排隊(duì)，當(dāng)有人擋住你的去路時(shí)要說(shuō)“麻煩讓一下”，以及在接受服務(wù)時(shí)要說(shuō)“請(qǐng)”和“謝謝”。

英國(guó)人的矜持是出了名的，這也不是沒(méi)有好處。與他人靠得過(guò)近或舉止過(guò)分親昵是一大禁忌！人們第一次見(jiàn)面時(shí)，握手比擁抱更合適，而親吻面頰只限于親密朋友之間。詢問(wèn)薪水、婚戀狀況、體重或年齡（尤其對(duì)于比較“成熟”的女士）等私人問(wèn)題也是令人不悅的。

傳統(tǒng)上，關(guān)于英國(guó)禮節(jié)的一個(gè)最好的例子就是對(duì)守時(shí)的重視。在商務(wù)會(huì)晤、預(yù)約就醫(yī)或婚禮這樣的正式社交場(chǎng)合，遲到被認(rèn)為是失禮的行為。因此，最好提前五至十分鐘到達(dá)，體現(xiàn)出職業(yè)素養(yǎng)、準(zhǔn)備充分且態(tài)度從容，這表示對(duì)主人的尊重。相反，參加晚宴時(shí)過(guò)早到達(dá)，若主人這時(shí)還在忙著做準(zhǔn)備工作，客人則會(huì)顯得有些失禮，還可能破壞了晚宴的氣氛。同理，突然登門拜訪常常令人不快，因?yàn)橛锌赡芙o主人帶來(lái)不便。

如果你受邀參加英國(guó)人的晚宴，按照習(xí)俗客人應(yīng)該給男主人或女主人帶個(gè)禮物，可以是一瓶葡萄酒、一束鮮花或者巧克力。良好的餐桌禮節(jié)非常重要（特別是如果你想再次受到邀請(qǐng)?。?，除非是燒烤或非正式的自助餐，用餐時(shí)不可以用手直接抓取而不用餐具。拿餐具的方式要正確，就是說(shuō)要用右手拿刀，左手拿叉，叉頭朝下;用刀將食物推到叉子背上，而不是“舀起來(lái)”。在正式晚宴上，如果你的餐位有很多件餐具，通常的做法是從靠外側(cè)的餐具開(kāi)始，按照由外而內(nèi)的次序在吃每道菜時(shí)使用這些餐具。

客人應(yīng)該等在座每個(gè)人的菜都上好后，主人開(kāi)始進(jìn)餐或者示意客人開(kāi)始進(jìn)餐時(shí)再開(kāi)始吃，這樣做比較有禮貌。開(kāi)始進(jìn)餐后，越過(guò)別人的盤子拿調(diào)味品或餐盤等物品是不禮貌的，比較妥善的方式是請(qǐng)別人幫忙遞過(guò)來(lái)。進(jìn)餐時(shí)手肘放在桌面上也被視為失禮。

吃東西時(shí)咂嘴或發(fā)出其他類似的噪音特別惹人反感。和打哈欠或咳嗽一樣，張嘴咀嚼以及嘴里有食物時(shí)說(shuō)話都被認(rèn)為是非常無(wú)禮的行為。這些行為意味著這個(gè)人缺乏教養(yǎng)，這個(gè)批評(píng)不僅針對(duì)他本人，還指他的家庭。

社會(huì)階層

過(guò)去，年輕女士普遍進(jìn)入女子精修學(xué)校學(xué)習(xí)，以確保她們的言談舉止合乎標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，這一點(diǎn)對(duì)她們能否找到如意郎君特別關(guān)鍵。

今天，良好的教養(yǎng)和禮節(jié)被視為尊重對(duì)方的標(biāo)志，對(duì)比自己年長(zhǎng)或地位高的人士來(lái)說(shuō)尤其如此。而在維多利亞時(shí)代的英國(guó)，等級(jí)制度盛行，禮節(jié)常常被用作一種社交武器，用來(lái)加入社會(huì)上層或排斥下層階級(jí)。

禮節(jié)的演變

和世界其他地方一樣，商務(wù)禮節(jié)的重要性也影響到了英國(guó)。英國(guó)人從關(guān)注社交或居家場(chǎng)合轉(zhuǎn)而重視商務(wù)禮節(jié)和禮儀。若要在國(guó)際商務(wù)中獲得成功，務(wù)必知曉一個(gè)社會(huì)公認(rèn)的禮貌行為，在另一個(gè)社會(huì)可能是無(wú)禮的行為。例如，okay手勢(shì)——拇指和食指結(jié)成一個(gè)圈，其他三個(gè)手指伸直，在英國(guó)和北美公認(rèn)為詢問(wèn)或確定某人是否情況良好或安全的一種手勢(shì)。但在歐洲南部和南美洲的一些地區(qū)，這是一種冒犯無(wú)禮的手勢(shì)。

事實(shí)上，隨著在線商務(wù)和社會(huì)化媒體網(wǎng)站的蓬勃發(fā)展，甚至誕生了全球性的“在線社會(huì)”，這就迫切需要建立其自身的規(guī)則，俗稱網(wǎng)絡(luò)禮節(jié)。這些規(guī)則是關(guān)于電子郵件、論壇和博客這些信息交流的禮儀。隨著互聯(lián)網(wǎng)的持續(xù)發(fā)展，人們不斷重新定義這些規(guī)則。因此，盡管從前在傳統(tǒng)上普遍接受的行為舉止可能不再具有以前的影響，但可以認(rèn)為在當(dāng)今社會(huì)，禮節(jié)的重要性一如既往。

（譯者為“《英語(yǔ)世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)撸?/p>

1 penchant傾向，嗜好。? 2 estiquette古法語(yǔ)詞匯，意思是a little note，特別指貼在門或者墻上公示給別人看的小紙條，而estiquette又來(lái)源于古法語(yǔ)詞匯 estechier，意思是to attach or stick。? 3 house rule內(nèi)部的規(guī)則，守則。? 4 timeliness適時(shí)。

5 de rigueur〈法語(yǔ)〉社交禮節(jié)需要的，符合時(shí)尚的;按照習(xí)俗。? 6 overfamiliarity過(guò)分友好，不拘禮節(jié)。? 7 frown upon不贊成，不悅。? 8 unflustered從容不迫。

9 cutlery餐具（刀、叉和匙）。? 10 prong叉（齒）。

11 finishing school（上流社會(huì)女子學(xué)習(xí)社交舉止的）精修學(xué)校。? 12 up to scratch合乎標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，可以接受的。? 13 social exclusion社會(huì)排斥（個(gè)體被某一集體或他人拒絕和排斥，使其歸屬和關(guān)系需求受到阻礙的現(xiàn)象）。

14 etiquette and protocol禮節(jié)和禮儀。禮節(jié)指人們?cè)谌粘Ｉ钪?，特別是交際場(chǎng)合中，相互表示尊重、友好的問(wèn)候、致意、祝愿、慰問(wèn)以及給予必要的協(xié)助與照料的慣用形式;禮儀通常指在較大、較隆重的正式場(chǎng)合，為表示敬意、尊重、重視等所舉行的合乎社交規(guī)范和道德規(guī)范的儀式。? 15 netiquette網(wǎng)絡(luò)禮節(jié)，指在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上的禮貌規(guī)則。