上期題目

成功并不局限于結(jié)果,快樂、自信、自律才是通往成功的秘訣,付出與努力本身就是成功與回報。

多元化成功并不要求每個人都去刻意重復(fù)別人的成功之路,或者用別人的標準來評價和衡量自己,但它要求我們重視誠信的價值觀,擁有完整、均衡的人生態(tài)度,善于用智慧選擇最佳的解決方案,并能不斷地追尋自己的理想和興趣、不斷地學(xué)習(xí)和實踐,妥善地處理好身邊人際和溝通問題……如果從這些方面嚴格要求自己,讓自己的每一天都能有新的收獲和新的提高,那么,無論是否取得了預(yù)期的結(jié)果,這種努力本身就是最可嘉許的成功了。所以說:“做最好的自己”是通向多元化成功的必然途徑。

摘自李開復(fù)《做最好的自己》

安徽工業(yè)大學(xué) 何文龍

Multi-success doesn't ask everyone to duplicate others' ways of success sedulously or to use others' criteria to measure themselves. The requirements of multi-success may go to the following six aspects: attaching importance to faithful values, possessing integrated and balanced attitude on life, and being adept at dealing with interpersonal relations and communication. If you are strict with yourself according to the requirements mentioned above and attain some new gains and improvements every day, these efforts themselves are most-praised success whether your expectations are achieved or not. So, we can say 'Be your personal best' is a necessity for realizing multi-success.

外編點評:譯文的一個難點是“多元化成功”的翻譯,英語中不存在multi-success這個說法,并且它不能表達原詞的意思,用diversified success或varied success會更好。Sedulously使用不當,應(yīng)改為exactly或to the letter;sedulously意為“勤勉地、孜孜不倦地”,是褒義詞,與原文語境不符。譯文其他部分譯得不錯,但也有一些小問題,例如應(yīng)是an integrated and balanced attitude to life和we can say that…,出現(xiàn)了丟用錯用。Attain some new gains累述,說成achieve some new successes 會更好。此外most-praised應(yīng)改為praiseworthy,漢語詞組翻譯成對應(yīng)英文詞匯會更好,而不是將原詞組打碎,如“牛奶”應(yīng)譯為milk,而不是cow milk。

北京 蘇紫殤

Multiple success doesn't mean one must follow others' ways to success or measure and evaluate yourself by others' standards. It requires one to value honesty, to have a complete and balanced attitude towards life and to find the best solution wisely. In addition, it needs one to deal with the interpersonal relationship appropriately, as well as keep on studying, practicing and pursuing your own dreams and interests. If one can gain and improve a little everyday, being strict about these aspects, he is a success whether he achieves what he wants. In fact, this kind of try itself is the most favorable success. So the truth is, Be Your Personal Best is a essential method to multiple success.”

外編點評:譯得不錯,但也犯了跟第一位譯者同樣的錯誤,即“多元化成功”的翻譯,用diversified success或varied success會更好。此外one用得很貼切巧妙,當然“you”也是個很好的選擇。此外還有些小的錯誤,如應(yīng)是interpersonal relationships,使用復(fù)數(shù)。最后需要注意one的統(tǒng)一,不能隨意轉(zhuǎn)用he;但若前文使用somebody則可在后文中使用he。但總體來說譯得非常不錯!

上海 歐陽仕權(quán)

'Diversified Successes' imposes upon everyone of us no demand that we ought to replicate other people's approaches to success ,or to evaluate and measure ourselves by criteria belonging to others, but it is required that we ought to attach considerable importance to values of both honesty and credibility, to hold wholesome and balanced attitudes towards life, and to be adept at picking the best solution by means of our wisdom; Furthermore, it is also demanded that we should endeavor to pursue our goals and interests ceaselessly, to mature ourselves by continuous learning and practice, to properly tackle interpersonal relationship issues and communication problems, etc... If we can place a stringent constraint upon ourselves based on the forementioned items, which enables ourselves to obtain new gains and improvements per day, such endeavors in essence are the most praiseworthy success, no matter our expected outcome is achieved or not. In summary, 'playing our best part' is the only road to accomplish diversified successes.

外編點評:譯得不錯,尤其是將diversified success用引號標出,表明其是一個不常見的描述成功策略的說法。整體譯得不錯,但過多使用被動語態(tài)。例如,可將it is required改為but we ought to;it is also demanded也同樣如此。而enables ourselves to obtain new gains and improvements every day可簡化為lets us improve every day。記住,從句應(yīng)簡潔明了。另外no matter后需加whether。

下期題目

褪去了春夏的躁動,秋天更加樸實無華,各地的秋景有別,但都恬靜宜人,透著收獲的喜悅。

不逢北國之秋,已將近十余年了。在南方每年到了秋天,總要想起陶然亭的蘆花,釣魚臺的柳影,西山的蟲唱,玉泉的夜月,潭柘寺的鐘聲。在北平即使不出門去吧,就是在皇城人海之中,租人家一椽破屋來住著,早晨起來,泡一碗濃茶,向院子一坐,你也能看得到很高很高的碧綠的天色,聽得到青天下馴鴿的飛聲。從槐樹葉底,朝東細數(shù)著一絲一絲漏下來的日光,或在破壁腰中,靜對著像喇叭似的牽牛花的藍朵,自然而然地也能夠感覺到十分的秋意。

摘選自郁達夫《故都的秋》