本期點評名師
姜經(jīng)志 男,中學英語高級教師,省級骨干教師,淮北市優(yōu)秀教師,中國外語學習研究會會員,《中學生英語》兼職編委。多年來,在省級以上報刊發(fā)表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文獲獎。曾主編《初中生英語滿分作文大全》、《英語奧林匹克》等書,輔導學生多人次在國家和省級英語競賽中獲獎。
A Pleasant Trip to Beijing
My uncle and I went on a vacation in Beijing during last year’s National Day. In the first day in Beijing, we went to visited the Great Wall. On the second day, we visited Tian’anmen Square, the Summer Palace and other places of interest.
We too visited the biggest zoo in Beijing. We seed many kinds of animals there. They were tigers, lions, elephants, pandas, giraffes and so on. They were very interesting. They did much funny action. Both of us are so happy at that time.
What a great time we had on the trip to Beijing!
安徽省濉溪縣求實中學八(2)班 丁斐
點評
1. 優(yōu)點:
本文層次清晰、語句流暢、言簡意賅。小作者能較為熟練地運用學過的知識來寫作文,說明小作者具有比較扎實的英語語言基本功。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① In改為On。表示“在具體的某一天”應用介詞on。
② visited改為visit。go to do sth. 意為“去做某事”,to后應接動詞原形。
③ too改為also。too和also都表示“也”的意思,但too常用于句末,而also則常用于謂語動詞之前。
④ seed改為saw。see過去式為saw。
⑤ are改為were。根據(jù)上下文判斷此處應該用一般過去時。
3. 評分:
按照中考英語作文滿分15分的標準,本文修改前可得12分。