BY LIU JUE

Never been shot at， stabbed， or arrested by the fuzz？ Well， then you can forget about the rousing， adrenaline-infused life of a gangster； you are free to get on with your dull， tedious daily life， knowing youre not mobster material. But remember， real gangsters rule by intimidation. So， here is a little guide to get you started on the path to your very own protection racket， using Chinese gangster talk （黑話， h8ihu3， black talk） or 江湖隱語 （ji`ngh% y@ny^， underworld cant） in Chinese. Chinese gangsters dont exactly look like OGs. In fact， some of the earliest gangsters preferred ordinary apparel， so as to blend in with the crowd， and， as such， their language would often sound cryptic to outside ears， a mix of half muttered codes and secrets.

The traditional concept of 幫會（b`nghu#， underground organizations or secret societies） covers a wide range of different gangs. Some were just powerful tradesmen， such as the infl uential “Canal Trade Gang” （漕幫 C1ob`ng） founded in the early 18th century， which was in charge of all the trade on the Grand Canal from Beijing to Hangzhou for more than 150 years. Gang members had to follow certain rules， including a loyalty oath that included， among other things， the prohibition of adultery and a ban on bullying the weak.

Other gangs even enjoyed an honorable reputation， such as the legendary “Beggars Gang” （丐幫G3ib`ng）. Although made famous in various novels and depicted as a school of martial arts， you probably wouldnt have wanted to join as it required a ragged appearance and an ascetic lifestyle. Historians believe gangs existed in certain periods， albeit with fewer heroic deeds and more organized cadres. Some even consider the outlaws of the marsh a gang. And， of course， there are plenty of your standard gangsters， mobsters and neer do wells knocking about the streets of China today.

CRIMINAL CODEX

Gangs are more than just about running weapons and vice； The Heaven and Earth Society （天地會， Ti`nd#hu#） in the Qing Dynasty （1616-1911） was one such example； they strived to overturn the Manchu rulers and restore the country to its previous dynasty， Ming （1368-1644）. Joining this gang at your personal discretion would probably cost you your head if discovered. To avoid getting whacked， secret codes were developed to initiate contact between unacquainted members. Members would approach their potential point of contact citing the fi rst half of a couplet： We are on the high mountain with forever magnificence. D# zh-n g`og`ng， y！p3i x～sh`n qi`ng^ xi&.

地振高岡，一派溪山千古秀。

An ordinary person would dismiss it as confused babble uttered by a poem-happy lunatic. But your partner in crime would reply：

Turns out you are also a friend from the Heaven and Earth Society， please forgive my disrespect！ Yu1nl1i xi4ngt1i y0shi Ti`nd#hu# de p9ngyou， sh～j#ng sh～j#ng！

原來兄臺也是天地會的朋友，失敬失敬！

GANGLAND GEEK SPEAK

Similar secret codes were used by more fi erceless political-gangsters and bandits （土匪， t^f0i）， who killed mercilessly for profi ts. In the north east of China during the early 20th century， these mercenary bandits were called 胡子 （h%zi， moustache） or 響馬 （xi2ngm2， loud horse thieves）. If you are an outsider， trying to imitate the way they speak is no easy venture； Tracks in The Snowy Forest（《林海雪原》L！nh2i Xu0yu1n） had a try. The novel depicts a brave scout from the Eighth Route Army， Yang Zirong （楊子榮）， who relied on these secret codes to win the trust of a bandit chief on a one-man undercover mission. The encrypted conversation between them became a classic in the annals of gangster speak.

Bandit chief： The heavenly king overpowers the earthly tiger.[How dare you come to infuriate me？] Ti`nw1ng g3i d#h^.

天王蓋地虎。

The seemingly random statement is actually a question. Failing to understand or reply at this point would be disastrous. Luckily， our hero had his gang talk covered.

Yang： The pagoda can surely quell the river demon.[I didnt mean to. May I drown if thats my purpose.] B2ot2 zh-n h9y`o.

寶塔鎮(zhèn)河妖。

However， faced with a cunning criminal mastermind， it takes more than knowledge of slang to pass the test. Your nerves have to be as strong as steel.

Bandit chief： Why is your face red？ Li2n h5ng sh9nme？

臉紅什么？

Yang： Because I am in a high spirit！ J～ngsh9n hu3nf`！

精神煥發(fā)！

Bandit chief： Why is it yellow now？ Z9nme y7u hu1ng le？

怎么又黃了？

Yang： Its face wax to prevent from the cold.

F1ngl0ng， t% de l3！

防冷，涂的蠟！

Today， such gangster talk has lost all meaning， but it can still be fun to banter with friends.

MODERN MOBSTER

Though most ancient gangster talk has been lost to history， brave language learners can fi nd all the mobster mumbo-jumbo they need today. When dealing with drugs， such as heroin （海洛因 h2ilu7y～n）， gangsters call it 白面兒 （b1imi3nr， white fl our） or even 茶葉 （ch1y-， tea leaves）. When referring to weapons， they say 家伙 （ji`huo， chap） instead. A pistol （手槍 sh6uqi`ng） is called 噴子 （p8nzi， spray）. A police offi cer or 警察 （j@ngch1） is referred to as “a strip” （條子 ti1ozi） in southern gangster talk， which is said to come from the strip pattern on Mahjong cards. Frequently raided by the police， Mahjong gamblers developed this code name to send out warnings. When they cant shake the fuzz， gangsters get put in “platinum” （白金 b1ij～n）， the code name for handcuffs， and sent to the“bitter cave” （苦窯 k^y1o）， prison.

If you think the odds of using these words in a healthy daily conversation are low， there are still many you can fi nd daily use for. For instance， to have bad blood is called 結(jié)梁子 （ji9 li1ngzi）， which literally means to tie a knot of hatred. When you want to convoy that you have a grudge， just say：

The knot of hatred we tied is enormous！ W6 g8n n@ de li1ngzi ji9 d3 le ！

我跟你的梁子結(jié)大了！

Gangsters may become enemies because of territorial disputes or disagreements， but ordinary people may hate each other for a much more trivial case， say：

The two have bad blood between them， all because of a joke. T`menli2 y～nw-i y！ g- xi3ohua ji9xi3le li1ngzi.

他們倆因為一個笑話結(jié)下了梁子。Staying alert is essential for gangsters. The expression 風(fēng)緊 （f8ngj@n） or “the

wind is tight” is often used to describe a tense situation with the police. When you are on the polices radar， you can either continue with your crimes， as the idiom 頂風(fēng)作案 （d@ng f8ng zu7 3n， to committee a crime against the wind） suggests， or start packing and 扯呼（ch0hu） which is northern gangster talk， meaning “fl ee”. Feel free to apply to situations that are generally intense and where you have to pull out immediately.

The stock market is declining； the wind is tight， withdraw quickly！ G^sh# k`ish@ xi3di8 le， f8ngj@n， ch0hu！

股市開始下跌了，風(fēng)緊，扯呼！

In planning a crime， gangsters would often case the premises； this is called 踩點 （c2i di2n， treading the spot） or 踩盤子 （c2i p1nzi， treading the area）. You can easily use them in a daily situations：

The exam is tomorrow， I will go to tread the examination room today. M！ngti`n ji& y3o k2osh# le， w6 j～nti`n xi`n q&

k2och2ng c2i di2n.

明天就要考試了，我今天先去考場踩點。

Terminology aside， to speak like a great gangster， you have to remember the essence of the gang， 義 （y#） or 義氣（y#qi）， meaning brotherhood code and personal loyalty. To start， call all your peers 兄弟 （xi4ngd#， brother）， and your superior 大哥 （d3g8， big brother）. Be generous with their requests and assure them from time to time that you take the codes to heart：

The most important word in the underworld is yi. R9n z3i ji`ngh%， zu# zh7ngy3o de sh# y！ g- y# z#.

人在江湖，最重要的是一個義字。

（We will） stick together through thick and thin！ Y6u f% t5ng xi2ng， y6u n3n t5ng d`ng！

有福同享，有難同當(dāng)！

When they extend their help or return your favors， be sure to compliment them：

Good brother， thats true loyalty！ H2o xi4ngdi， g7u y#qi！

好兄弟，夠義氣！

Like the Italian mafi a， Chinese gangsters have their own philosophy； a philosophy of brotherhood in a world with severe consequences， far beyond their ability to manipulate：

The underworld is beyond ones control. R9n z3i ji`ngh%， sh8n b& y5u j@.

人在江湖，身不由己。

This phrase is applicable to any situation that demands you go with the tide：

A： Why did you go drinking again？ N@ z0nme y7u q& h8ji^ le？

你怎么又去喝酒了？

B： It was business. The underworld is beyond my control！ Sh# q& t1n sh8ngyi， r9n z3i ji`ngh%， sh8n b& y5u j@ a！

You pay for what you do， sooner or later. Ch$l1i h&n， ch！z2o y3o hu1n de.

出來混，遲早要還的。