Author Unknown

You hear people say this all the time： “I have a right to be upset because of the way Ive been treated. I have a right to be angry， hurt， depressed， sad， and 1）resentful.” Learning to avoid this kind of thinking is one of my secrets for living a life of inner peace， success， and happiness. Anytime youre filled with resentment， youre turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to 2）manipulate.

I became aware of how powerful this lesson was many years ago while sitting in on a meeting of 12 people who were in a recovery group for alcoholism and drug addiction. All 12 of those people were accustomed to blaming others for their weaknesses， using almost any excuse as a rationale for returning to their self-defeating ways. On a poster hanging in the room were these words： “In this group， there are no justified resentments.”

Regardless of what anyone would say to another group member， no matter how confrontational or ugly the accusations， each person was reminded that there are no justified resentments. You may need to consider whom you resent before you make your own choice about whether this is useful for you. Resentments give you an excuse to return to your old ways. This is what got you there in the first place！

Removing resentment and blame from your life means never assigning responsibility to anyone for what youre experiencing. It means that youre willing to say， “I may not understand why I feel this way， why I have this illness， why Ive been victimized， or why I had this accident， but Im willing to say without any guilt or resentment that I own it. I live with， and I am responsible for， having it in my life.” Why do this？ If you take responsibility for having it， then at least you have a chance to also take responsibility for removing it or learning from it.

If youre in some small （perhaps unknown） way responsible for that 3）migraine headache or that depressed feeling， then you can go to work to remove it or discover what its message is for you. If， on the other hand， someone or something else is responsible in your mind， then of course youll have to wait until they change for you to get better. And that is unlikely to occur.

First， you have to get past blame. Then you have to learn to send love to all， rather than anger and resentment. Just as no one can define you， neither do you have the privilege of defining others. When you stop judging and simply become an observer， you will know inner peace. With that sense of inner peace， youll find yourself free of the negative energy of resentment， and youll be able to live a life of 4）contentment. A 5）bonus is that youll find that others are much more attracted to you. A peaceful person attracts peaceful energy.

At the root of virtually all spiritual practice is the notion of forgiveness. Think about every single person who has ever harmed you， cheated you， 6）defrauded you， or said unkind things about you. Your experience of them is nothing more than a thought that you carry around with you. These thoughts of resentment， anger， and hatred represent slow， 7）debilitating energies that will 8）disempower you. If you could release them， you would know more peace.

You practice forgiveness for two reasons： to let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with them and to free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment. Send love in some form to those you feel have wronged you and notice how much better you feel.

你總是聽到人們這么說：“別人待我有虧，我就有權不高興。我有權生氣、痛苦、沮喪、難過和怨恨。”學會避免這種想法，則是我生活得內心平和、成功和快樂的秘訣之一。任何時候只要你心里充滿了怨恨，你就是把自己的情緒放任給別人操控。

很多年以前，當我旁聽一個12人戒酒戒毒康復小組的會議時，便開始意識到這是多么有力的教誨。所有這12人都慣于將自己的弱點歸咎于他人，用盡幾乎一切借口作為回歸自毀之路的根據。屋里墻上懸掛的一張海報上寫著：“在這個小組里，任何怨恨都是不合理的?！?/p>

不管哪個人要對小組里的其他成員說什么，不管其指責是多么地咄咄逼人或令人厭惡，每個人都被提醒說，任何怨恨都是不合理的。你也許先要細想你怨恨的到底是誰，然后再自己選擇這樣做對你來說是否有用。怨恨給了你借口去重走老路。這正是當初將你引入歧途的根源！

從你的生活里去除怨恨和責難意味著你將永遠不再把自己所經歷的事情的責任轉嫁于他人。它意味著你愿意說：“我也許不明白我為何有這種感受，為何有這種毛病，為何曾經受到傷害，或是為何我曾遇到這種事故，但我將愿意毫無愧疚或怨恨地說，這都是我的問題。我接受，并為之負責，承認其為自己生命的一部分。”為什么要這樣做呢？如果你為其負責，那么至少你還有機會為解決問題或是吸取教訓也負上責任。

如果你肯為偏頭痛或是情緒低落而負上微?。ɑ虿幻鳎┑呢熑危敲茨憧梢酝ㄟ^工作來去除或是發(fā)現(xiàn)它向你傳遞了怎樣的信息。但如果，從另一方面說，在你心目中其他某人或某事對此負有責任，那么當然了，你將不得不等待，直到外力外事為你而改變來讓情況好轉。而這不大可能會發(fā)生。

首先，你必須停止責備。然后，你必須學著向所有人散發(fā)愛心，而非怒氣和怨氣。就像沒有人能夠為你定性一樣，你也沒有特權為他人定性。當你停止評判，變成只是單純地觀察時，你會了解到內心的平和。有了那種內心平和的感覺后，你將發(fā)現(xiàn)自己從怨恨的負能量中解脫出來，從而能夠過上知足常樂的生活。一個額外的好處是，你將發(fā)現(xiàn)其他人更加為你所吸引了。一個平和的人會吸引平和的能量。

幾乎所有心靈修煉的根基都是寬恕的觀念。想一想每個曾經傷害過你，愚弄過你，欺騙過你或是對你言語不善的人。你對其感受不過是一個你揮之不去的念頭罷了。這些怨恨、憤怒和憎惡的念頭代表了遲緩而虛弱的能量，將會剝奪你的力量。如果你能夠將其放下，你將會了解更多的平和。

你要為如下兩個原因而練習寬?。鹤屍渌酥滥悴辉傧胍幱跀骋獾臓顟B(tài)，并且將你自己從怨恨的自毀能量中解脫出來。以某種方式向那些你認為曾經錯待過你的人散發(fā)愛心，并留意一下自己的心情到底有多舒暢吧。

小資

“正能量”（positive energy）本是物理學名詞，該詞的流行源于英國心理學家理查德·懷斯曼的著作《正能量》。在書中，理查德·懷斯曼將人體比作一個能量場，通過激發(fā)個體的內在潛能，產生“正能量”，從而使個體表現(xiàn)出一個全新的自我，從而更加自信、充滿活力。當下，中國人為所有積極的、健康的、充滿希望的人和事都貼上了“正能量”的標簽。它已經上升成為一個具備象征意義的符號，與我們的情感深深相系。

“負能量”（negative energy）是一種能迅速把人的心情拉低，并讓人消沉的東西。只有多一些能令人積極向上的正能量，才能把現(xiàn)實踩在腳下，而不是扛在肩上。由高群書導演制作的電影《神探亨特張》使得“負能量”一詞流行。