文/By+Susan+Burton+譯/張玲

In the early 1980s， in Grand Rapids1）， Michigan， Shirley Temple movies were shown on Sunday mornings， on cable TV. When we got our first VCR， in 1982， my father would set the timer to record the movie， and it would be waiting for me and my younger sister when we got home from church. Sometimes， he would stay home from church so that he could use what we called "the pause control" to excise2） the commercials. Even then， at age nine， I knew that this had as much to do with his love for us （and for new technology） as it did with his ambivalence3） about church.

I adored Shirley Temple. I wanted to be a child star， and， even nearly a half century after the height of her stardom， Shirley seemed to me to be the paradigm4） of one. I knew that she was the youngest person ever to win an Oscar （though this fact was asterisked5）， because it was a special children's Oscar， not a real one）， and that during the Depression6） she had been a top-grossing7） performer. I knew that her stand-in8） was named Mary Lou Isleib， and that Shirley had been considered for Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz9）. I knew that she'd had trouble transitioning into roles for young women； that she'd had an early， brief first marriage and a longer second one， during which she'd had breast cancer and had become the Ambassador to Ghana. I knew all this， and more， because I read everything I could about Temple， including two books that remain on my shelves： Robert Windeler's The Films of Shirley Temple， its spine10） now white， its cover still hot pink， and The Shirley Temple Story， a silver-jacketed hardcover I bought in the biographies section at Schuler Books on Twenty-eighth Street.

While I liked Shirley's movies， I wasn't especially moved by the story lines or the interactions between characters （with the exception of The Little Princess， in which Sara Crewe11） desperately searches the wards12） of the wounded soldiers for her father）. I was stirred by Shirley herself—stirred by the fact of this little girl on-screen. There was enormous power in watching her doing what I wanted to do—a little girl who I knew had been at the center not only of these films but also of the culture. There was something about the movies being old that mattered， too. There was a feeling of discovery， a feeling that Shirley was mine.

In our back yard， I belted13） Shirley's songs. In fourth grade， I sang "At the Codfish Ball"， from Captain January14）， in the school talent show. That was the same year I wrote Shirley a letter. Some weeks after I sent the note， I received one from her， a three-by-five card on which， in black ink， she wrote a few short lines and signed her name， "Shirley Temple Black". My mother put the card in a Lucite15） frame that I placed on my dressing table.endprint

My sadness at hearing of Shirley Temple's death has much to do with the reminder of that far-gone time when I was her fan. When I was nine， my parents were still married （four years later， they divorced）； I was still their little girl in my original house. My parents indulged my Shirley Temple interest. One day after school， my mother took me to a dark， musty16） used-bookstore I'd found in the Yellow Pages. I also loved Judy Garland17）， and the proprietor18） of the store told me， "I have a customer just like you， someone who is interested in those same two， Shirley Temple and Judy Garland." I still sometimes think about this person in Grand Rapids who was my double19）.

The year I was nine， I received a set of newly reissued vinyl20） Shirley Temple dolls for Christmas. But my favorite present was something my father bought for me in a used-bookstore in Ann Arbor， on the other side of the state. Used-bookstores were my father's churches， and at this one， the Dawn Treader， he'd found a Shirley Temple scrapbook21） from the 1930s. Onto its blank pages， someone from that same era—it seemed to me like a woman， because the work was too neat for a little girl—had pasted articles about Shirley Temple that she'd scissored out of movie magazines and local Michigan newspapers. I felt I knew this woman somehow， knew her across time and across the state， knew the thrill of a fellow-fan opening the newspaper to see a story about her favorite star. I was amazed that my father had found this scrapbook in a mysterious store with a fantasy-novel name， and I was moved that he had known what its stiff22） pages and yellowed articles would mean to me. It's a very Shirley Temple-movie ending， a moment of tenderness between a daughter and a father， but what can I say？ I still have that scrapbook.

20世紀(jì)80年代初，密歇根州大急流城的有線電視每周日上午都會(huì)播出秀蘭·鄧波兒的電影。1982年我們擁有了第一臺(tái)錄像機(jī)后，爸爸就會(huì)設(shè)置好定時(shí)器把電影錄下來(lái)，這樣等我和妹妹從教堂回來(lái)時(shí)，電影就已經(jīng)錄好等著我們了。有時(shí)，爸爸也會(huì)留在家里不去教堂，這樣就可以用我們稱之為“暫停控制”的功能刪掉電影中插播的廣告。即使那時(shí)我只有九歲，我也知道他這么做既是出于對(duì)我們的愛(ài)（以及對(duì)新技術(shù)的熱衷），同時(shí)也是因?yàn)樗麑?duì)教堂的那種矛盾心理。

那時(shí)的我非常喜歡秀蘭·鄧波兒。我想當(dāng)一名童星，而且，即使那時(shí)距秀蘭明星生涯的巔峰時(shí)期已經(jīng)過(guò)去了近半個(gè)世紀(jì)，她在我眼中依然是明星的典范。我知道她是最年輕的奧斯卡獎(jiǎng)得主（不過(guò)這件事得加個(gè)注釋，因?yàn)槟鞘且粋€(gè)特殊的兒童奧斯卡獎(jiǎng)，并不是真正的奧斯卡金像獎(jiǎng)），也知道在經(jīng)濟(jì)大蕭條時(shí)期，她一直是票房收入最高的演員。我知道她的替身演員名叫瑪麗·盧·伊斯萊布，還知道《綠野仙蹤》的制片方曾考慮讓她出演多蘿西。我知道她在轉(zhuǎn)型出演少女角色時(shí)遇到了困難；還知道她早早就結(jié)了婚，經(jīng)歷了短暫的第一次婚姻和長(zhǎng)久的第二次婚姻，在第二段婚姻期間，她患過(guò)乳腺癌，出任過(guò)駐加納大使。我知道所有這些，甚至還知道更多，因?yàn)槲冶M我所能讀了有關(guān)鄧波兒的一切，包括現(xiàn)在仍放在我書(shū)架上的兩本書(shū)。一本是羅伯特·溫德勒所著的《秀蘭·鄧波兒的電影》，這本書(shū)的書(shū)脊如今已經(jīng)發(fā)白，其封面卻依然是鮮艷的粉色；另一本是我在第28街的舒勒書(shū)店傳記區(qū)買(mǎi)到的《秀蘭·鄧波兒的故事》，有著銀色的護(hù)封和精裝的硬封皮。

雖然我很喜歡秀蘭的電影，但讓我特別感動(dòng)的并不是片中的故事情節(jié)或人物間的相互關(guān)系（除了電影《小公主》中薩拉·克魯在受傷士兵的病房里拼命尋找她爸爸的那一段）。深深打動(dòng)我的是秀蘭本身——是這個(gè)小女孩出現(xiàn)在銀幕上的事實(shí)。看她做著我想做的事情，我總是感到熱血沸騰——一個(gè)我認(rèn)識(shí)的小女孩不僅一直是所有這些電影的中心，而且還是美國(guó)文化的中心。這些電影都是老電影，這一點(diǎn)也很重要?？此碾娪翱傋屛矣蟹N探索的感覺(jué)，讓我覺(jué)得秀蘭是屬于我的。endprint

在我家后院，我常扯著嗓子唱秀蘭的歌。四年級(jí)時(shí)，我在學(xué)校的才藝秀上演唱了電影《一月船長(zhǎng)》中的“鱈魚(yú)球歌”。就在同一年，我給秀蘭寫(xiě)了一封信。信寄出幾周后，我收到了她的回信。那是一張3x5英寸的卡片，她用黑墨水在上面寫(xiě)了短短幾行字，并簽上了她的名字“秀蘭·鄧波兒·布萊克”。媽媽把這張卡片裝進(jìn)了我擺在梳妝臺(tái)上的有機(jī)玻璃相框里。

如今聽(tīng)到秀蘭·鄧波兒去世的噩耗，我感到很傷心，很大程度上是因?yàn)檫@讓我想起了我是她粉絲時(shí)的那段早已逝去的時(shí)光。那時(shí)我九歲，我的父母還在一起（四年后他們離婚了），我還是他們的寶貝女兒，住在我家原來(lái)的房子里。那時(shí)，我的父母縱容著我對(duì)秀蘭·鄧波兒的迷戀。一天放學(xué)后，媽媽帶我來(lái)到一家陰暗的、泛著霉味兒的舊書(shū)店，那是我在黃頁(yè)上找到的一家書(shū)店。我也喜歡朱迪·加蘭。那個(gè)書(shū)店的老板告訴我：“我有一個(gè)顧客和你一樣，也喜歡秀蘭·鄧波兒和朱迪·加蘭這兩個(gè)人?！爆F(xiàn)在，我有時(shí)仍會(huì)想起大急流城那個(gè)和我的愛(ài)好酷似的人。

九歲那年的圣誕節(jié)，我收到了一套新發(fā)售的秀蘭·鄧波兒塑膠娃娃。但我最喜歡的禮物是爸爸在位于密歇根州另一頭的安阿伯市的一家舊書(shū)店買(mǎi)到的一樣?xùn)|西。舊書(shū)店就是爸爸的“教堂”。在這家名為“黎明行路者”的書(shū)店里，爸爸找到了一本20世紀(jì)30年代的秀蘭·鄧波兒剪貼簿。在一頁(yè)頁(yè)原本空白的頁(yè)面上，與秀蘭同時(shí)代的某個(gè)人——我覺(jué)得像是個(gè)女人，因?yàn)榧糍N的活兒做得非常精細(xì)整潔，小女孩是做不到的——把她從電影雜志和密歇根州當(dāng)?shù)氐膱?bào)紙上剪下的關(guān)于秀蘭·鄧波兒的文章都貼在了上面。不知為何，我覺(jué)得我仿佛認(rèn)識(shí)這個(gè)女人，跨越了時(shí)間和空間與她神交，也明白她這樣一個(gè)和我有著相同偶像的粉絲翻開(kāi)報(bào)紙看到她最喜歡的明星的報(bào)道時(shí)那種激動(dòng)的心情。爸爸居然在一家有著幻想小說(shuō)書(shū)名般店名的神秘書(shū)店里發(fā)現(xiàn)了這本剪貼簿，令我異常驚奇；而且爸爸竟然知道這些發(fā)硬的書(shū)頁(yè)和泛黃的舊紙張上的文章對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)意味著什么，讓我感動(dòng)不已。這恰如秀蘭·鄧波兒電影的經(jīng)典結(jié)尾，一對(duì)父女盡享溫情時(shí)刻，但我又能說(shuō)些什么呢？直到現(xiàn)在，我仍舊保存著這本剪貼簿。

1. Grand Rapids： 大急流城，美國(guó)密歇根州第二大城市（僅次于底特律），因格蘭德河（Grand River）的急流流經(jīng)該城市而得名。

2. excise [?eksa?z] vt. 刪去

3. ambivalence [?m?b?v?l?ns] n. 矛盾情緒（或態(tài)度）

4. paradigm [?p?r?da?m] n. 范例，樣式

5. asterisk [??st?r?sk] vt. 加星標(biāo)于

6. the Depression： 經(jīng)濟(jì)大蕭條，指第二次世界大戰(zhàn)前在世界范圍內(nèi)發(fā)生的經(jīng)濟(jì)蕭條事件，開(kāi)始于20世紀(jì)30年代初期，結(jié)束于30年代晚期或40年代中期，是20世紀(jì)歷時(shí)最長(zhǎng)、范圍最廣、影響最深的一次經(jīng)濟(jì)衰退。

7. gross [ɡr??s] vi. 賺得總收入

8. stand-in： （電影、戲劇中的）臨時(shí)替代演員；替身演員

9. The Wizard of Oz： 《綠野仙蹤》，美國(guó)的一部歌舞片，改編自L·弗蘭克·鮑姆（L. Frank Baum， 1856～1919）膾炙人口的兒童小說(shuō)《綠野仙蹤》（The Wonderful Wizard of Oz），于1939年上映。故事的主角是多蘿西（Dorothy），由當(dāng)時(shí)的另一位著名女星朱迪·加蘭出演。

10. spine [spa?n] n. 書(shū)脊

11. Sara Crewe： 薩拉·克魯，影片《小公主》（The Little Princess）中的女主角，由時(shí)年11歲的秀蘭·鄧波兒飾演。

12. ward [w??d] n. 病房，監(jiān)護(hù)室

13. belt [belt] vt. 勁兒十足地演唱（或演奏）

14. Captain January： 《一月船長(zhǎng)》，美國(guó)1936年上映的一部歌舞片，時(shí)年八歲的秀蘭·鄧波兒出演了片中的女主角。

15. Lucite [?lusa?t] n. 有機(jī)玻璃

16. musty [?m?sti] adj. 霉的，發(fā)霉的

17. Judy Garland： 朱迪·加蘭（1922～1969），美國(guó)演員、歌手及歌舞劇演員，1997年被授予格萊美終生成就獎(jiǎng)，并入駐格萊美名人堂，1999年被美國(guó)電影學(xué)會(huì)評(píng)為美國(guó)電影史上最偉大的十位女藝人之一。

18. proprietor [pr??pra??t?（r）] n. 所有人，業(yè)主

19. double [?d?bl] n. 酷似的人

20. vinyl [?va?nl] n. 聚乙烯基織物，一種塑膠材料

21. scrapbook [?skr?pb?k] n. 剪貼簿

22. stiff [st?f] adj. 硬的；僵硬的endprint