山東省梁山縣楊營中學(xué) 于孔春 供稿

Who Is Stupid？

A teacher was teaching her psychology1 lessons. She started her class by saying， “Everyone who thinks youre stupid， stand up！”

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said， “Do you think youre stupid， Johnny？”

“No， madam， but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”

誰蠢？

一個(gè)老師給學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，她一開始就說：“誰認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來？”

小約翰尼站了起來。

“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，約翰尼？”老師問。

“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著。”

Madhouse2

Late one night at the madhouse one inmate3 shouted， “I am Napoleon！” Another one said， “How do you know？”

The first inmate said， “God told me！”

Just then， a voice from another room shouted， “I did not！”

瘋?cè)嗽?/p>

一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪铮粋€(gè)病人說：“我是拿破侖！”另一個(gè)說：“你怎么知道？”

第一個(gè)人說：“上帝對我說的！”

一會兒，一個(gè)聲音從另一個(gè)房間傳來：“我沒說！”

Mrs. Williams and the Flower Boy

Mrs. Williams loved flowers and had a small but beautiful garden.

In the summer， her roses were always the best in her street. One summer afternoon， her bell rang， and when she went to the front door， she saw a small boy outside.

He was about seven years old， and was holding a big bunch4 of beautiful roses in his hand.

“I am selling roses，” he said， “Do you want any？ They are quite cheap. Five pence for a big bunch. They are fresh. I picked them this afternoon.”

“My boy，” Mrs Williams answered， “I pick roses whenever I want， and dont pay anything for them， because I have lots in my garden.”

“Oh， no， you havent，” said the small boy， “There arent any roses in your garden—because they are here in my hand！”

威廉斯夫人和賣花男孩

威廉斯夫人喜愛花，而且有一個(gè)小而漂亮的花園。

夏天，她的玫瑰花在她那條街上總是最好的。一個(gè)夏日的下午，她的門鈴響了，當(dāng)她去到前門時(shí)，看見一個(gè)小男孩在門外。

這個(gè)小男孩7歲左右，手里拿著一大束漂亮的玫瑰花。

“我在賣玫瑰花，”小男孩說，“你想買點(diǎn)嗎？這些花相當(dāng)便宜。5便士買一大束。這些花很新鮮，今天下午我才摘的?！?/p>

“孩子，”威廉斯夫人回答說，“每當(dāng)我想要玫瑰花時(shí)，我就去摘，而且摘了花我也不用付錢，因?yàn)槲业幕▓@里有許多玫瑰花?！?/p>

“哦，不，你現(xiàn)在沒有了，”這個(gè)小男孩說，“你的花園里沒有玫瑰花了——因?yàn)樗鼈內(nèi)谖疫@手里！”

To Drum up Business

A man accidentally slipped5 on a banana peel and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt， but felt embarrassed.

When he got better a moment later， he found a number of people standing round in a circle. He said angrily， “What are these idlers6 doing here？”

“They are not idlers，” explained his friend. “This man is a doctor. He wants to look you over. That man is a lawyer. He is ready to file a suit7 for you. And a producer of comic films is waiting for you to sign a contract.”

招攬生意

有個(gè)人不小心踩到一塊香蕉皮上，滑倒的樣子非?；税l(fā)笑。他沒有受傷，只是有些難為情。

過了一會兒，他感覺好些的時(shí)候，發(fā)覺有好幾個(gè)人圍著他站成一圈。他很不高興地說：“這些閑人在這里干什么呢？”

他的朋友解釋說：“他們不是閑人。這個(gè)人是醫(yī)生，他想給你檢查一下。那個(gè)人是律師，他準(zhǔn)備為你起訴。另一個(gè)人是喜劇電影的制片人，他在等你和他訂一個(gè)合約。”

Four New Fathers

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving birth to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says， “Congratulations， you got twins.” The man said， “How strange， Im the manager of Minnesota Twins.” After a while the nurse comes up to the second man and says， “Congratulations， you got triplets8.” The man was happy， “Hmm， strange I worked as a director for the ‘3 musketeers.” Finally， the nurse comes up to the third man and says “Congratulations， you got quadruplets9.” The man is happy and says， “Ironic， I work for the hotel ‘4 Seasons.” All three of them are happy until they see their last man jumping all over the place， and banged his head on the wall. They asked him whats wrong and he answered， “Whats wrong？ I work for 7up！”

四個(gè)新爸爸

四個(gè)好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了，他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn)。護(hù)士過來對第一個(gè)男人說：“恭喜，你得了雙胞胎?！蹦腥苏f：“巧了，我是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊(duì)的經(jīng)理?！边^了一會兒，護(hù)士過來對第二個(gè)男人說：“恭喜，你得了三胞胎?！蹦腥撕芟矚g：“嗯，又巧了。我是3M公司的董事?！弊詈螅o(hù)士跑來對第三個(gè)男人說：“恭喜，你得了四胞胎?！蹦腥撕荛_心地說：“真令人啼笑皆非，我為四季賓館工作?！彼麄?nèi)齻€(gè)都很高興，但第四個(gè)伙伴急得跳了起來，并用頭撞墻。他們問他有什么不對勁，他回答道：“什么不對勁？我可是在七喜公司工作的呀！”