姚柳

My life has changed a lot in the past few years. I used to be short. I had black long hair and I used to like cartoons. Now Im tall. I have black short hair and I like watching soap operas and reality shows.

The biggest change in my life was I become outgoing. This is the most important change because one day， I saw a TV show， it told us we should be outgoing so that we can make many friends and well be happy. So I did follow it. I made many friends and I feel happy in my life. What about your change？

盧燕平老師點(diǎn)評(píng)：

本文是以“我的變化”為題的作文，主要是讓學(xué)生熟悉和掌握“used to”的用法。一般來說，每個(gè)學(xué)生都會(huì)有變化，對(duì)這個(gè)話題都有話可說，但很多學(xué)生局限于講述自己的外貌、愛好等方面，該生結(jié)合自己看電視后所得感悟，以及對(duì)自己產(chǎn)生的影響來展開說明自己的變化，切入角度令人耳目一新。不過，在時(shí)態(tài)和句子結(jié)構(gòu)方面，該篇作文還有待改進(jìn)。

修改稿：

My life has changed a lot in the past few years. I used to be short. I had black long hair and I used to like cartoons. Now Im tall with black short hair and I like watching soap operas and reality shows.

The biggest change in my life is that I have become more outgoing. Do you know how I have changed？ This is because of a TV show. One day， I saw a TV show， which told us we should be more outgoing so that we could make more friends and we would be happier. So I did follow it. I have made many more friends and I feel happier in my life. This is the most important change. Im happy with my change. What about your change？