徐詩祺
[高考作文考什么]
請看英語全國卷Ⅰ原題:
假如你是李華,正在教你的英國朋友Leslie學漢語。請你寫封郵件告知下次上課的計劃,內容包括:
1. 時間和地點;
2. 內容:學習唐詩;
3. 課前準備:簡要了解唐朝的歷史。
注意:
1. 詞數(shù)100左右;
2. 可以適當增加細節(jié),以使行文連貫。
從形式上看,依然同往常年一樣是寫書信(或郵件),唯一細小的差別是今年并未提供書信的開頭和結尾,從閱卷結果來看這并不影響同學們的作答。
從內容上看,突出了中國傳統(tǒng)文化的主題,尤其呼應了當下的“詩歌熱”。但再細讀題目,不過是披著文化的外衣,依舊在寫事項安排。同學們需要重點著墨的,是平時訓練過無數(shù)次的“時間”“地點”“內容”和“準備”,“漢語”“唐詩”和“歷史”只要掌握三個名詞便足以應付。
[高考作文怎么評分]
高考閱卷現(xiàn)場會提供兩樣東西作為評分的標準和參考:評分細則和評分檔位樣卷。
評分細則來自《英語課程標準》,年年一樣,幾乎毫無改變。評分細則要求先定檔次再給分數(shù),不遺漏內容要點,強調語言表達的準確性(包括拼寫和標點)和行文的連貫性。值得注意的是,今年閱卷時有兩點是評分細則中明確指出,但在實際改卷中不作要求的:“詞數(shù)少于80和多于120的,從總分中減去2分”和“如書寫較差以致影響交際,可將其分數(shù)降低一個檔次”。閱卷時間緊張而有限,無人有閑暇去一一數(shù)字數(shù),高考作文的目的是希望同學們能最大限度地展現(xiàn)自己的寫作能力,并不旨在用詞數(shù)去約束同學們的表達,因此只要內容全面,不超出答卷紙邊框,并不影響得分。
考慮到審美的差異性和作文的交際性,閱卷中,只要同學們的字跡可以清晰辨認,不因其書寫美觀或潦草增減分數(shù)。另外,除了白卷、用非英語作答和照搬試卷其他部分,只要有正確的表達,作文均不作零分處理。
評分檔位樣卷是專家組根據(jù)評分細則挑選出的五個檔次的典型考場作文。
第五檔作文(21~25分)
How is everything going? I hope you have practiced Chinese fluently.
Having known the arrangements of your time, Im writing to tell you that the next class we will have is at 8 am this Sunday.(時間) Whats more, to make our lesson more interesting, it will be arranged at Jiefang Park.(地點) Because as far as Im concerned, a quiet place can not only make you feel relaxed, but also improve the speed of learning. Besides, the context of the next class is about learning Tang poem.(內容) So, I hope you can read some relevant books which is about the history of Tang dynasty before the class.(課前準備) An enough preparation will give you a magic experience of Chinese culture.
Above all, if you have any question or difficulty you can call me at 123456. Looking forward to your reply?。?38詞)
該生作文“覆蓋所有內容要點”,“應用較多的語法結構和詞匯”(非謂語,從句,not only ... but also ...句型等),“全文結構緊湊”(非謂語,whats more,besides,so,above all等),“有些許錯誤,但無傷大雅”(如because as far as Im concerned中because應該去掉,the context of the next class應改為the content of)。
第四檔作文(16~20分)
Im writing to tell you some plans that are involved with the next class.
First, you should remember the time and address well in order to make full preparations. The address is my house and the time is 10 oclock in the morning.(時間和地點) In our next class, we will learn Tang dynastics poetry.(內容) You see Li Bai and Du Fu are really great poets of that time. So you should know Tang dynastics history in advance.(準備) To be honest, the next class will be interesting. Im sure you will like it.endprint
In conclusion, I hold the firm belief that you will make great progress.
Im looking forward to your coming.(110詞)
該作文“覆蓋所有內容要點”,“語法結構詞匯應用基本準確”,“結構緊湊”(first,so,in conclusion等),“有些許錯誤,是嘗試使用復雜句式或詞匯所致”(如開篇第一句為了用定語從句和involved而導致的語句不順,可以直接改為Im writing to tell the plan for the next Chinese class;唐詩可以直譯為Tang poem,用dynastic反而容易出錯)。
第三檔作文(11~15分)
Im Li Hua. I still teach Chinese for you. And you also studying hard. Now I want to set the time about next studying Chinese.
Next Sunday, I will teach you that Tangshi in China.(內容) I think you will interested for it. Tangshi is China favorit culture. Long time ago, Tangshi was loved. A lot of Chinese all loved Tangshi and some students could study it.
I will teach you in the school on Sunday at afternoon.(時間地點) I hope you can look for about Tangchao history because it can help you learn Tangshi.(準備) I think you are interested in Tangshi because it is funny and full knowledge. Next class, I will teach you about Tangshi and some history about Tangchao. I hope you can like my teaching class and get lots of knowledge.(133詞)
全文共14句,完全沒有語法錯誤的只有4句。令人慶幸的是,所有要點均涉及了,且大部分語法錯誤并不影響對全文的理解。該檔次的作文相較于前兩檔,除了語言的準確性差外,更明顯的缺點是行文的邏輯性不強,想到哪里寫到哪里,無關緊要的廢話多。
第二檔作文(6~10分)
How surprised and excited to write the letter for you. I am your old friend Li Hua. My country is very old, and Chinese culture is very secret and beautiful.
Its said that China is one of Four Culture Old Country, and have various of culture about history. As Tang Chao, this is a vividly time for China history. If you want like a duck to water in the class. You will to prepare many history.(準備) We will study Tang poem in the class 10 and at the next weekend, that day 2 pm.(時間、地點、內容) I hope you dont come late.
At the moment, you will practice your Chinese and find many important information.
I am thanks for you reward this letter. See you again.(124詞)
這一檔次的作文突出特點是言不達意。如果不是事先讀過試題,你幾乎無法從這篇作文中了解到題目所要求傳達的信息。不僅語言使用得不準確(如對古老的國家、神秘的文化、文明古國的翻譯),還有混亂的結構和用詞(have various of,vividly time,want like,will to等),全文都讓人不知所云。
第一檔作文(1~5分)
My name is LIHUA. Yeah! No matter your Chinese teacher.
Last time my some told you still remember? Next time my plan teache you learning desty. I help you can airily know. because China is have long history native.
Maybe Chinese for your have a little difficult. But china is beautiful you hard to know it. You will discover “China” dont only larger more it this is rabit your will fall in love it.endprint
My either want with you study my England friend my decide time tomorrow the afternoon. “PLACE” in school. Wait for you.(95詞)
除了首尾兩句(第一句名字大小寫也有錯誤),沒有任何一個正確的句子,甚至任何一個有意義的句子(錯誤但可以理解)。能夠得分已經實屬不易。
總的來說,對前兩檔作文是從文章的角度“高標準”選拔,同時也鼓勵給滿分;對后三檔則是從表達的層面從寬處理,只要言之有物便可酌情給分。
[高考作文怎么寫]
既然改作文要緊緊圍繞“內容”“語言準確性”和“行文連貫性”,那么寫作文也無外乎緊扣這三點。如果說“語言”和“行文”考查的是同學們的語言功底,需要日積月累,那么“內容”則重在審題。今年的寫作內容涉及四點:時間、地點、上課內容和課前準備??此坪唵?,但從書信的交際功能來看,有幾個關鍵問題萬萬不能忽略。
首先是時間和地點的表達。既然是寫信通知上課的時間地點,那么所寫內容一定要具體而準確,切忌出現(xiàn)類似I will teach you at my school next week這樣的句子,模糊的時間地點等于什么也沒說。
另外核心詞“唐詩”的翻譯要準確,可以用Tang poem,也可以直譯Tangshi再用同位語進行解釋。在寫到課前準備時要注意語氣,不要太生硬,例如用I suggest比you should更有禮貌。
具體且看“作答示例”(相當于參考作文):
Hi Leslie,
Im writing to tell you about the Chinese class next week.(寫信目的) Lets meet at two Tuesday afternoon at the coffee shop near my school again.(時間地點) I plan to help you study some poems of the Tang dynasty which is an important part of Chinese civilization.(上課內容) Many of the Tang poems have greatly influenced Chinese literature.(增加細節(jié)) And we learned them at a young age.(增加細節(jié)) Ill help you read and understand the selected poems before we have a discussion of them.(增加細節(jié)) To make it easier, I suggest you study and get some knowledge of the Tang dynasty in advance.(課前準備)
See you then?。ńY束語)
Best,
Li Hua
全文一氣呵成,共兩段,八句,105個詞,遣詞造句均簡潔明了。
內容全面:四個要點表達清晰。
句型結構和用詞準確、地道。
長短句結合,三個復合句(定語從句、狀語從句、賓語從句+非謂語)使用合理,詞匯選擇恰到好處(Chinese civilization,selected poems、in advance等等)。
行文流暢,過渡自然,增補信息邏輯性強,有“點睛”而非“添足”之效。
幾近完美地完成了預期的寫作目的。
通過以上的分析,我們不難得出以下啟示:
1. 書寫固然重要,但在平時的訓練中不可忽略重點,因小失大,作文的訓練永遠是“表達第一”。
2. 考前突出對語言知識的積累,考試中要注重審題和語言的運用。審題旨在弄清楚“寫什么”和“怎么寫”,而如何在考試中合理地運用所學所記的“經典句式”需要在一次次的訓練中摸索和總結。為了“高級”而“高級”的結果往往是“不倫不類”。
3. 可以增加信息不代表隨意增加信息。一篇作文一定要有核心,適當增加信息的目的一定是“使得行文連貫”,沒有意義的句子一定不寫。
4. 語言表達的準確性是作文考查的重中之重。正確地寫好每一個句子是寫好一篇作文的前提。在日常的學習中,同學們務必要重視對句子的操練,保證無論長短,無論簡單或復雜,所寫即正確。endprint