我們知道,雅思作文的寫法可以千變萬化,但最根本的兩個結構是“一邊倒”和“雙邊討論”。在寫作前的審題過程中,我們首先需要確定的就是到底采取哪一種結構,只有這個確定了,接下來才有可能寫得順暢自如。本期老雅先談“一邊倒”這種作文結構模式的基本樣態(tài)、常見錯誤及其解決辦法。
所謂“一邊倒”,就是完全同意/反對題目中的觀點,或者完全同意/反對題目中的A觀點或B觀點。比如,題目問:應該在餐館吃飯還是在家吃飯?如果你的觀點是100%應該在家吃飯,那你使用的結構就是“一邊倒”。再如:人口過多引起了世界上絕大多數(shù)問題,你是否同意?如果你的觀點是:沒錯,世界上絕大多數(shù)問題都是人口過多引起的。ok,那就是“一邊倒”。
現(xiàn)在的問題是:什么時候適合用一邊倒結構?用一邊倒結構時該注意哪些問題?
老雅認為,不是所有題目都適合用一邊倒結構。有些老師建議烤鴨只用一邊倒結構,理由是這樣寫“觀點更明確”。老雅完全理解這些老師的初衷。因為,很多學生缺乏思辨性的思維能力,如果強行讓他們進行雙邊討論,結果往往是丟失了自己的觀點,從而造成“觀點不明確”這樣的重大錯誤,而一邊倒的結構就能避免這樣的錯誤出現(xiàn),因為一邊倒的確能夠確保立場堅定、觀點明確。然而,這里的問題是,立場堅定、觀點明確不一定是好作文。杠精的立場也很堅定,觀點也很明確,但我們不喜歡和杠精說話,也不喜歡讀他們寫的文章。為什么呢?因為杠精的文章多是“自說自話”,完全不去認真考慮別人的立場。我們喜歡讀到的文章是“觀點明確,言之成理”,這才是好作文的標志。
因此,有些題目是適合一邊倒結構的,有些題目是不適合的。老雅的基本判斷是:當你決定用一邊倒結構,然后發(fā)現(xiàn)對方觀點其實也有明顯可取之處時,就最好不要用一邊倒。即使你非要用一邊倒,那也得用某種方式承認對方觀點的合理性,要不然,考官就可能認為你是杠精:明明對方觀點有明顯的合理之處,你卻視而不見,非要一邊倒,這樣的作文觀點再突出,也不符合情理,因此難以得到高分。比如:有人認為看電視是孩子學習的有效方式,因此應該鼓勵孩子看電視,你是否同意?一邊倒的結構就是:不同意孩子看電視,理由很多(傷害身體、養(yǎng)成不良學習習慣等),或者同意孩子看電視,理由也很多(生動形象、獲取各種知識等)。兩種一邊倒都可做到“觀點明確”,但我們自己寫的時候心里都是發(fā)毛的:難道真的要無節(jié)操地同意孩子看電視嗎?難道看電視真的一無是處嗎?在這種情況下,用一邊倒結構導致的基本是失敗,因為你只寫了一面,沒有寫出另一面,你的結論是沒有說服力的,這一點你很清楚,考官比你更清楚。那如果用雙邊討論呢?我們首先承認看電視可以幫助孩子學習,然后寫看電視有很多壞處和局限,最后給出結論:可以讓孩子通過看電視學習,但學校和家長應該給孩子看電視設定限制,而不是鼓勵他們看電視。這樣,通過合理的分析,得出了自己鮮明的結論。這個結論與一邊倒的結論相比,同樣鮮明,但合理得多。
在可以使用一邊倒的作文中,我們要注意以下兩點:
第一,在論證自己支持的觀點時,不要忘記去證偽你不支持的觀點。比如:有人認為應該和外星人聯(lián)系,但有人認為這樣做很危險,請給出你自己的觀點。就這個題目,很多同學用一邊倒,即必須和外星人聯(lián)系,理由很多(學習其先進技術、為未來的人類找到安身之所等),然后就結論說必須聯(lián)系外星人。這個一邊倒觀點很明確,然而卻忘記了對題目中的“危險論”作出反應。在一邊倒的結構下,我們應該批駁“危險論”,認為和外星人聯(lián)系根本不會有危險,即使有危險,為了未來,我們也值得去冒這個險。這樣,批駁反方觀點,來強化自己支持的觀點。這個一邊倒是建立在對反方觀點的有效批駁上,因此就顯得比較合理。
第二,在一邊倒的結構中,如果發(fā)現(xiàn)對方的觀點也有不少合理之處,一定要加以承認(但不需要詳細論述),然后再轉折回來論證并強調自己的“一邊倒”觀點更加合理。這樣的寫作才會讓考官覺得,你的論點是建立在考慮過對方立場的基礎上的,因而是更有說服力的。
總結一下:(1)一邊倒的結構在雅思作文中其實很少見,多數(shù)作文題目中的觀點不是那么明顯正確或錯誤的,而是都有一定的合理性;(2)即使使用一邊倒,也要認真對待對方觀點,要么批駁它,要么承認它,這樣才是對題目觀點的充分反映,也才是更合理的論說方式。
以下,我們來看兩篇雅思范文,它們均采用了一邊倒的結構。
范文一
【題目】In many countries women are able to join the armed forces on the equal basis as men. However, some people think only men should be members of the army, navy and air force. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2016/05/19)
【思路分析】 對于女性能否參軍這一問題,我們的態(tài)度無非有如下三種:(1)女性不能參軍,只有男性可以參軍;(2)女性完全可以參軍;(3)部分同意,部分不同意,女性可以參軍,但在軍隊里從事的工作應該與男性不同。如果我們選擇論述觀點(1)或(2),我們就是在“一邊倒”。本范文論述了觀點(1),即女性不適合參軍。值得注意的是,在單方面論證女性不適合參軍后,本文在最后一段對女性對國家安全的貢獻也給予了肯定,這樣,本文的“女性不適合參軍”的觀點就顯得更加合情合理,而不是一根筋了。
Just 100 years ago, women serving in the armed forces was basically unheard of, yet now in many countries, women are able to join the armed forces as easily as men. Not afraid of the accusation of being prejudiced or even male chauvinistic, I strongly believe that men and only men should be members of the army, navy and air forces.
In the first place, being a soldier is extremely demanding physically. With very few exceptions, women are not possibly able to withstand the long hours of military exercises and drills. For example, soldiers are sometimes required to remain exposed to the strong sunlight or the heavy storms hours after hours, or to walk many miles with heavy things carried with them. This means a soldier must possess great strength, stamina and endurance. While I am not willing to say that all women are lacking in these qualities, I am pretty sure that most women are not physically fit to become a soldier. In addition, joining the army, navy or air forces means you have to injure or even kill people. This is emotionally unacceptable to most women because they are the ones who do not like that much blood shedding.
Furthermore, if a woman plans to join the armed forces, she will have to tackle a number of other social issues. For instance, her parents may have strong objections to this choice of hers, because with a daughter in the army, they may be met with inquiring and doubtful eye from their neighbors and friends. It was for this reason that my cousin sister had to give up her dream of becoming a soldier. Even if a woman does become an army member, she will have to learn to face a world full of the opposite sex. She may feel completely at odds with the rules and disciplines which are designed predominantly for men.
To conclude, physically, emotionally and socially speaking, women are not supposed to serve in the armed forces. However, this does not mean that women do not have their share of responsibility to protect their country. As an advocate of “l(fā)abor distribution” theory, I think women can help the men soldiers by taking care of their parents, children, and the family, and this is as important as serving in the army themselves.
范文二
【題目】Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants and canteens. Do you agree or disagree?
【思路分析】本題有兩個對立的觀點:在家吃飯vs去餐館吃飯。我們的觀點可能有以下三種:(1)在家吃飯;(2)在餐館吃飯;(3)各有好處。如果選擇論述觀點(1)或(2),就是采用一邊倒結構。本范文論述的觀點是“應該在家吃飯”,并提出了三個理由。值得大家學習的是,在一邊倒地論述“應該在家吃飯”這一觀點時,范文沒有忘記駁斥“在餐館吃飯”,這讓“應該在家吃飯”這一觀點顯得更加具有說服力。
Everyone has to eat. The question is, where to eat? You may cook and eat at home, or just eat out in restaurants or canteens. My personal opinion is that eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out.
First, it has no doubt that cooking and eating at home can save a lot of money. Generally, the cost of eating in restaurants is much higher than eating at home. By cooking at home, you don’t have to pay the labor fee for the chef, and don’t have to pay tips to the waiter. What you have to do is just a little hand operation and a little time. From supermarkets, you can buy cheap vegetables and meat, which may cost only 10 percent of the same food in a restaurant. Sometimes, you can get cheaper food in discount time. Especially, a big family may enjoy the method, as the monthly cost would be less.
Second, you can freely select your favorite food to cook. A restaurant cannot always provide you with delicious food. The taste of food in restaurants is usually designed for the public, which is not suitable for a particular guest. If you miss the taste of your mum’s soup, it’s not likely to find the same one in a restaurant. In this case, the best choice is to cook by yourself, to reproduce your mum’s food to the best you can.
Finally, it’s obvious that eating at home is more healthy and clean. You don’t know whether it’s dirty in the restaurants, and also you don’t know whether the food is fresh. But by cooking at home, you can know everything about the cooking materials. Moreover, it’s easy to control the usage of fat and oil, unless you don’t care to become too fat.
In brief, I believe that eating at home is healthy and clean. If people want to save money, eating at home is also a good choice. In addition, people can cook what they like as well. So I personally prefer eating at home.
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