陳光偉

讀后續(xù)寫是高考英語(yǔ)科目中的新題型。賦分25分，提供一段350詞左右的語(yǔ)言材料，要求考生依據(jù)該材料內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，為其補(bǔ)充一篇150詞左右，與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。讀后續(xù)寫題型包含了“閱讀”“分析”“創(chuàng)作”，具有較大的難度，能綜合考查我們運(yùn)用英語(yǔ)的能力，包括：

（1）把握短文關(guān)鍵信息和語(yǔ)言特點(diǎn)的能力;

（2）語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用的準(zhǔn)確性和豐富性;

（3）對(duì)語(yǔ)篇結(jié)構(gòu)的把控能力;

（4）創(chuàng)造性思維能力。

筆者在指導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行該題型訓(xùn)練時(shí)，主要有以下幾個(gè)要求：

1. 分兩段，150 -210詞，建議用時(shí)30-40分鐘;

2. 根據(jù)原文本、給出的兩段的段首句和生活常識(shí)合理推斷情節(jié);不要給出太出人意料的結(jié)局，主題盡量正能量，積極向上;

3. 不增加旁支情節(jié)，不增加人物;故事完整，不在文末設(shè)置懸念;

4. 遵循原文總體基調(diào)和風(fēng)格;

5. 適當(dāng)穿插心理描寫和環(huán)境描寫;

6. 時(shí)態(tài)不可亂;

7. 可以在結(jié)尾進(jìn)行總結(jié)或升華。

真題分析

（2020.01浙江）閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

“Im going to miss you so much， Poppy，”said the tall， thin teenager. He bent down to hug his old friend goodbye. He stood up， hugged his parents， and smiled， trying not to let his emotions（情緒）get the better of him.

His parents were not quite able to keep theirs under control. They had driven their son several hours out of town to the university where he would soon be living and studying. It was time to say goodbye for now at least. The family hugged and smiled through misty eyes and then laughed.

The boy lifted the last bag onto his shoulder， and flashed a bright smile.“I guess this is it，”he said.“Ill see you back home in a month， okay？”His parents nodded， and they watched as he walked out of sight into the crowds of hundreds of students and parents. The boys mother turned to the dog，“Okay， Poppy， time to go back home.”

The house seemed quiet as a tomb without the boy living there. All that week， Poppy didnt seem interested in her dinner， her favorite toy， or even in her daily walk. Her owners were sad too， but they knew their son would be back to visit. Poppy didnt.

They offered the dog some of her favorite peanut butter treats. They even let her sit on the sofa， but the old girl just wasnt her usual cheerful self. Her owners started to get worried.“What should we do to cheer Poppy up？”asked Dad.“Weve tried everything.”

“I have an idea， but it might be a little crazy，”smiled Mom. “Without anybody left in the house but us， this place could use a bit of fun. Lets get a little dog for Poppy.

It didnt take long before they walked through the front door carrying a big box. Poppy welcomed them home as usual but when she saw the box， she stopped. She put her nose on it. Her tail began wagging（擺動(dòng)）ever so slowly， then faster as she caught the smell.

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段， 每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好;

Para 1. Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. ______________________________________________________________________________

Para 2. A few weeks later， the boy arrived home from university. _________________________________________________

__________________________

步驟一，精讀理解語(yǔ)篇

讀后續(xù)寫類似閱讀理解題中對(duì)文章后續(xù)發(fā)展的推斷，如“What would happen next？”。因此我們首先需要對(duì)語(yǔ)篇進(jìn)行精讀理解，保證續(xù)寫部分不偏離主題，不發(fā)生情節(jié)性錯(cuò)誤。這篇材料講的是孩子上學(xué)離家，為了讓家里的小狗不感到孤單，父母打算給它找個(gè)伴。

另外，學(xué)生應(yīng)該通過(guò)觀察語(yǔ)篇的優(yōu)質(zhì)表達(dá)感受其語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格，選詞方面盡量與其接近。如：hug his old friend goodbye， get the better of him， smiled through misty eyes， lifted the last bag onto his shoulder， flashed a bright smile， quiet as a tomb， it didnt take long before等。

步驟二，構(gòu)思續(xù)寫內(nèi)容。

按照故事發(fā)展的要素（起因、經(jīng)過(guò)、轉(zhuǎn)折、高潮、結(jié)局），學(xué)生構(gòu)思續(xù)寫內(nèi)容。通常題目的文章已經(jīng)包括故事要素的前三者（起因、經(jīng)過(guò)、轉(zhuǎn)折）。本題中，起因?yàn)楹⒆由蠈W(xué)和送別（1至3段），經(jīng)過(guò)為Poppy變得悶悶不樂(lè)（4至5段），轉(zhuǎn)折則是他們打算多添一只小狗（6至7段）。因此學(xué)生應(yīng)只要在后兩者（高潮、結(jié)果）上發(fā)揮，建議兩個(gè)要素各一段。

通過(guò)分析故事發(fā)展，以及續(xù)寫兩段給出的提示句“Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared.”和“A few weeks later， the boy arrived home from university.”，我們可以確定高潮應(yīng)是Poppy和小狗的互動(dòng)，結(jié)局是男孩回家，獲得驚喜。應(yīng)該讓故事完整，不要在文末再設(shè)懸念。

步驟三，寫好關(guān)鍵位置句。

關(guān)鍵位置句指的是續(xù)寫部分第一段和第二段的第二句，以及第一段的最后一句。因?yàn)檫@三句和提示句最接近，最能體現(xiàn)續(xù)寫部分和提示句的銜接關(guān)系，寫好了能充分體現(xiàn)學(xué)生對(duì)語(yǔ)篇結(jié)構(gòu)的把控能力。比如第二段的提示句為“A few weeks later， the boy arrived home from university”，則第一段的最后一句最好能提到the boy或者arrive home等元素，與上下文形成呼應(yīng)。

步驟四，打磨細(xì)節(jié)語(yǔ)言。

在續(xù)寫中，在保證語(yǔ)言通暢的前提下，應(yīng)盡量多使用從句、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞、倒裝句、強(qiáng)調(diào)句等語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)。另外，還應(yīng)該多用心理描寫、環(huán)境描寫以及描述性的動(dòng)作詞匯，來(lái)描寫細(xì)節(jié)、烘托氣氛，使文章充滿真情實(shí)感和可讀性。注意不要大量使用對(duì)話描寫，建議對(duì)話不要超過(guò)兩個(gè)話輪。

步驟五，檢查修改。

最后，我們應(yīng)檢查全文的故事情節(jié)是否完整，所續(xù)寫內(nèi)容是否符合邏輯，與原文和所給段首提示語(yǔ)是否連貫，語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)、句型結(jié)構(gòu)是否使用準(zhǔn)確，所續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的詞數(shù)是否達(dá)標(biāo)，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)的使用、單詞拼寫與字母大小寫等等。

學(xué)生習(xí)作

Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. Poppys eyes shone as she saw the puppy crawling out. She showed great love to the adorable creature which was given the name Berger. In the following days， she looked after Berger as if his mother， soon making them inseparable. Sometimes while taking a stroll in the park， with Dads help， she would teach Berger to respond to the orders just as how she did with the boy. Seeing her become cheerful again， the parents felt rather released. However， actively as Poppy acted， she knew her life was coming to an end.

A few weeks later， the boy arrived home from university. It should have been a good day for him but for the painful news that Poppy had passed away. To ease grief by diverting his attention， he tried to interact with Berger. In surprise， he found Berger rather acquainted with his orders. He seemed to see Poppy back again.“She made great efforts to train the little dog， just to find you a new companion.”Mom choked，“Her life will be carried on. So does her love.”The boy stood transfixed， with his eyes blurred by tears.

[教師點(diǎn)評(píng)]

該篇習(xí)作的語(yǔ)言方面做到了平衡、全面。首先，用詞較為準(zhǔn)確，細(xì)節(jié)性用詞也比較多，如crawl， stroll， release， transfix等，這些詞匯不僅準(zhǔn)確地描述出人物的動(dòng)作，而且使得環(huán)境描寫也更為生動(dòng)。其次，句型結(jié)構(gòu)也比較多樣化，從句、as if、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞、倒裝的使用也使得文章的可讀性強(qiáng)，如she looked after Berger as if his mother， soon making them inseparable等。并且，作者在主語(yǔ)的設(shè)置方面也有講究，每段使用的主語(yǔ)都比較統(tǒng)一，如第一段基本都是she，第二段基本都是男孩he，語(yǔ)流比較通暢。這篇文章反映出該生課外閱讀較多，平時(shí)應(yīng)有較多練筆。

在立意方面，續(xù)寫中沒(méi)有增加旁支情節(jié)，也沒(méi)有增加人物。然而，原文沒(méi)有任何Poppy即將去世的信息，如此續(xù)寫較出人意料，不易接受。在銜接方面，第一段最后一句和第二段的開(kāi)頭銜接欠缺，可以寫Poppy知道自己生命即將結(jié)束并且她在等男孩回來(lái)，這樣與第二段開(kāi)頭的“男孩回來(lái)”銜接更自然。另外，Poppy垂垂老矣和去世中間沒(méi)有任何文字過(guò)渡，閱讀的時(shí)候也有點(diǎn)猝不及防。建議在立意和銜接方面進(jìn)行修改。

作文范例

Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. The little puppy， cute with yellow curly hair， slowly crawled out of the box. At first he was a bit shy， but soon got familiar with Poppy. It didn't take long before the two took enormous pleasure in one anothers company. His parents was released to see this but kept the secret of the new family member， waiting for the boy to come back and find it out himself.

A few weeks later， the boy arrived home from university. He couldnt wait to see his family， including Poppy， since it was the first time that he had been away from home for such a long time. When he opened the door and caught sight of poppy tumbling about on the floor with a puppy， he was stunned. His parents laughed at the look of surprise on his face and explained why. “Now Poppy wont be lonely when you are away.”

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青