顧祖良
(常熟理工學(xué)院 外國語學(xué)院,江蘇 常熟 215500)
在談到英語慣用法的重要性時,葛傳規(guī)教授在其《英語慣用法詞典》(2000)前言中,明確指出:要學(xué)好英語,必須掌握英語慣用法。無論聽、說、讀、寫、譯和應(yīng)付托福、GRE、GMAT、雅思等各種英語考試,都要熟練地掌握英語慣用法。然而,在《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選1》(張培基,2007a)、《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選2》(張培基,2007b)、《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選3》(張培基,2007c)和《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選4》(張培基,2012)中,有些譯文存在著英語慣用法方面的錯誤,使譯文顯得不夠地道。本文舉出一些這樣的實例,分析其出現(xiàn)錯誤的原因,并給出符合英語表達習(xí)慣的譯文,供讀者參考。
原文:爹爹接下去說:“所以你們要像花生,因為它是有用的,不是偉大、好看的東西。”
譯文:“So you must take after peanuts”,father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nicelooking.”[1]13
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的take after用法欠妥。take after解釋為:to look or behave like an older member of your family, especially your mother or father(外貌或行為)像(父或母)。[2]1801例如:
(1)Your daughter doesn’t take after you at all.你女兒長得一點也不像你。[2]1801
(2)Mary takes after her mother; she has the same eyes, nose and hair.瑪麗長得真像她媽媽,眼睛、鼻子和頭發(fā)都一樣。[3]1794
(3)Everyone says I take after my mother.大家都說我長得像我母親。[4]1482
而原文中的“像花生”,并不是說要“長得像花生”,而是要說“像花生一樣,要具備好的品德”,筆者認(rèn)為可用learn from來表達。例如:
(4)learn from sb.向某人學(xué)習(xí)[5]1088
(5)One has to learn from other people’s experience.應(yīng)當(dāng)學(xué)習(xí)別人的經(jīng)驗。[6]451
(6)Learn from Comrade Lei Feng.向雷鋒同志學(xué)習(xí)。[7]523
也可用follow one’s example來表達。例如:
(7)I think all schools should follow the example of this one.我認(rèn)為所有學(xué)校都要以這個學(xué)校為榜樣。[8]272
(8)I suggest you follow Rosie’s example and get more exercise.我建議你以羅西為榜樣,多加鍛煉。[4]490
因此,原句宜改譯為:“So you must learn from peanuts”,father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nice-looking.”也可譯為:“So you must follow the example of peanuts”,father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nice-looking.”
原文:我不配做一盞明燈。
譯文:I, however, don’t qualify for a bright lamp.[1]76
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的qualify for用法欠妥。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,qualify (sb.) for 后跟“工作;競賽;許可證”等名詞,而qualify (sb./sth.) as 后則跟“稱號;名稱”等名詞。[2]1405例如:
(9)They qualified for the World Cup.他們打進了世界杯決賽。[2]1405
(10)If you live in the area, you qualify for a parking permit.你若在本區(qū)住,就有權(quán)領(lǐng)停車許可證。(Ibid.)
(11)This training course will qualify you for a better job.本培訓(xùn)課程將使你能勝任更好的工作。(Ibid.)
(12)He qualified as a doctor last year.他去年獲得了醫(yī)生的資格。(Ibid.)
(13)Do you think this dress qualifies as evening wear? 你看這連衣裙適合作晚禮服嗎?(Ibid.)
(14)It’s an old building, but that doesn’t qualify it as an ancient monument! 這是一座老建筑,但不足以稱為古跡。(Ibid.)
因此,原句宜改譯為:I, however, don’t qualify as a bright lamp.
原文:我不知不覺地便坐在窗口下想,——默默地想。
譯文:Before I knew, I had sunk into a chair under the window, lost in mediation.[1]96
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的before I knew用法欠妥,根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,要用before I knew it,其中的it不可缺少。例如:
(15)Three months had passed before we knew it.不知不覺已過了三個月。[9]194(說明:在原詞典所提供的例句中,have passed有誤, 筆者已改為had passed。)
(16)We’d better set off or it will be dark before we know it.我們最好馬上出發(fā),否則天就要黑了。[10]102
(17)Spring break will be here before you know it.春假不久就會到來了。[4]109
因此,原句宜改譯為:Before I knew it, I had sunk into a chair under the window, lost in mediation.
原文:雪花隙里,看不出天空和森林的界限,將繁燈當(dāng)作繁星。
譯文:With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes, the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed for as many stars.[1]100
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的passed for as用法欠妥。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,pass as sb/sth=pass for sb/sth, pass for或pass as 作“被認(rèn)為是;被當(dāng)作”解。[2]1256介詞for和as不可同時使用。例如:
(18)He speaks the language so well he could easily pass for a German.他德語講得好極了,很容易被當(dāng)成德國人。[2]1256
(19)We had some wine—or what passes for wine in that area.我們有一些酒——或是那個地區(qū)當(dāng)作酒的東西。(Ibid.)
(20)His English is so good he could pass as a native.他的英語很好,說他是本國人也有人信。[3]1281
(21)With my hair cut short I could have passed as a boy.如果我當(dāng)時把頭發(fā)剃短的話,我很有可能被當(dāng)作男孩。[11]250
因此,原譯文宜改為:With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes,the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed for many stars.也可改為:With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes, the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed as many stars.
原文:比起北國的秋來,正像是黃酒之與白干,稀飯之與饃饃,鱸魚之與大蟹,黃犬之與駱駝。
譯文:Southern autumn is to Northern autumn what yellow rice wine is tokaoliangwine, congee to steamed buns,perches to crabs, yellow dogs to camels.[1]165
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文有誤。在A is to B what X is to Y的句型中,主句往往是語義重點之所在,而從句則表達讀者已熟知的內(nèi)容。[12]1568本句型通過比較,往往要強調(diào)主句的重要性,一般不用于兩者事物的優(yōu)劣比較。例如:
(22)Railway is to transportation what blood is to a man’s body.鐵路對于交通的重要性,就如同血液對于身體的重要性一樣。[12]1568
(23)Air is to us what water is to fish.空氣之與我們,如同水之與魚。(Ibid.)
(24)Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.讀書對于思想,好比運動對于身體一樣重要。[13]754
筆者認(rèn)為,原中文“比起北國的秋來,正像是黃酒之與白干,稀飯之與饃饃,鱸魚之與大蟹,黃犬之與駱駝?!币獜娬{(diào)的是,北國的秋不能同南國的秋同日而語,而不是強調(diào)兩者間的重要性關(guān)系。
因此,原譯文宜改為:Southern autumn cannot compare with Northern autumn, just as there is no comparison between yellow rice wine andkaoliangwine, between congee and steamed buns, between perches and crabs, and between yellow dogs and camels.
原文:我的女人最喜歡養(yǎng)雞。她的目的并不在研究遺傳,并不想有甚居積,充其量只是想給孩子們多吃幾個雞蛋罷了。
譯文:My wife is very keen on raising chickens.She does this not for studying genetics or making a profit out of it, but merely for collecting more eggs for our kids to eat.[14]69
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文有誤。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,表示“目的”時,不可用 for doing sth.要用to do sth.,葛傳規(guī)教授認(rèn)為下面各句都不合習(xí)慣:[15]250
(25)I went there for seeing him.[15]250
(26)They will come for hearing the music.(Ibid.)
(27)We work hard for building socialism.(Ibid.)
要分別改為:
(28)I went there to see him.[15]250
(29)They will come to hear the music.(Ibid.)
(30)We work hard to build socialism.(Ibid.)
因此,原譯文宜改為:My wife is very keen on raising chickens.She does this not to study genetics or to make a profit out of it, but merely to collect more eggs for our kids to eat.當(dāng)然也可把原譯文中的for改為for the purpose of,這樣就符合英語表達習(xí)慣了。例如:
(31)A meeting was called for the purpose of appointing a new treasurer.為任命新司庫而召開了一次會議。[2]1397
因此,原譯文也可改為:My wife is very keen on raising chickens.She does this not for the purpose of studying genetics or making a profit out of it, but merely for the purpose of collecting more eggs for our kids to eat.
原文:母親那種勞動簡樸的習(xí)慣,母親那種寬厚仁慈的態(tài)度,至今還在我心中留有深刻的印象。
譯文:Her diligence and frugality, her generosity and kindheartedness — all have left a lasting impression on my mind.[1]261
原文:我有二十多年沒有看見他了,至今記憶中還有幾件不能磨滅的事。
譯文:Though it is more than twenty years since I last saw Mr.Sa,several things have left an indelible impression on my memory.[16]38
原文:后來他走了,但他的印象卻永遠(yuǎn)留在那簡單的純潔的腦子中。
譯文:When he leaves them, he will always leave behind a permanent impression on the simple and honest country folks.[16]99
筆者認(rèn)為以上三句譯文均有誤。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,leave 或make an impression 后跟on sb.,不可跟on one’s mind或memory;另外,在leave an impression on sb.中,動詞leave 也不可同介詞behind連用。例如:
(32)Her speech made quite an impression on the audience.她的演說給聽眾留下了相當(dāng)好的印象。[3]877
(33)His trip to India made a strong impression on him.他的印度之行對他的觸動很大。[2]885
(34)It leaves an impression on the visitor not easily forgotten.它給參觀者留下了難忘的印象。[17]891
(35)The experience left a lasting impression on me.這段經(jīng)歷給我留下了不可磨滅的印象。[18]2145
另外,如要跟 mind 或 memory搭配使用,可用 be etched in/on one’s mind/memory; be imprinted on one’s mind/memory; be engraved in/on one’s memory/mind/heart。例如:
(36)The war seems to be etched forever in my memory.那場戰(zhàn)爭似乎永遠(yuǎn)銘刻在我的記憶里。[4]484
(37)A terrible event is etched forever on my memory.一件可怕的事永遠(yuǎn)銘刻在我的記憶里。[10]465
(38)The image of Helen’s sad face was imprinted on his mind.海倫那張悲傷的臉映照在他的腦海里。[4]727
(39)The sight of her waving from the window was forever imprinted on my mind.她從窗戶向外揮手的情景,永遠(yuǎn)銘刻在我的腦海里。[10]715
(40)Their last conversation is deeply engraved in his memory.他們最后一次談話深深刻在他的記憶里。[4]473
(41)The terrible scene was engraved on his memory.那可怕的情景銘記在他的記憶里。[3]566
因此,原譯文宜分別改為1.Her diligence and frugality,her generosity and kindheartedness—all have left a lasting impression on me.2.Though it is more than twenty years since I last saw Mr.Sa, several things have left an indelible impression on me.3.When he leaves them, he will always leave a permanent impression on the simple and honest country folks.前兩句也可分別改為:1.Her diligence and frugality, her generosity and kindheartedness—all have been etched/imprinted/engraved on my mind.2.Though it is more than twenty years since I last saw Mr.Sa,several things have been indelibly etched/ imprinted /engraved on my memory.
原文:為什么會窮到這個地步呢?
譯文:How did it come that I had been reduced to such poverty?[14]108
原文:母親也不是窮人,也不是老人,也不是孩子,怎么也怕起父親來呢?
譯文:How did it come that my stepmother, being neither poor, nor old, nor a child, should also have become scared of father?[14]220
筆者認(rèn)為以上譯文均有誤。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,要把How did it come that 改為How did it come about that。例如:
(42)How did it come about that humans speak so many different languages? 為什么人類會說這么多不同的語言呢?[10]259
(43)Can you explain how it came about that you were an hour late? 你怎么會遲到一個鐘頭,對此你能做出什么解釋呢?[3]334
(44)How did it come about that you didn’t report this to us in good time? 你怎么沒有及時向我們報告?[3]9
另外,在非正式語體中,可用how come …? 表示“為什么…? ”;“怎么會(那樣)?”[3]855例如:
(45)How come you got back so early? 你怎么回來得這么早?[4]706
(46)How come he got the job when she was the best qualified person? 她是資歷最好的人選,怎么得到那個職位的會是他?[3]855
(47)If she spent five years in Paris, how come her French is so bad? 既然她在巴黎待了五年,她的法語怎么還會這樣糟糕?[2]321
因此,原句宜分別改為:
1.How did it come about that I had been reduced to such poverty? 2.How did it come about that my stepmother,being neither poor, nor old, nor a child, should also have become scared of father? 也可分別改譯為:1.How come I had been reduced to such poverty? 2.How come my stepmother, being neither poor, nor old, nor a child, should also have become scared of father?
原文:一個當(dāng)老師的人,既要勇于堅持自己的真理,又要勇于承認(rèn)自己的非真理。
譯文:A teacher should have the courage not only to hold firmly to the truth but also to admit his mistake.[14]298
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的hold firmly to不符合英語表達習(xí)慣,hold firm to sth.是習(xí)慣表達形式,其中的firm不可改為firmly。例如:
(48)hold firm to one’s beliefs 堅守信仰[5]700
(49)Always hold firm to your beliefs.永遠(yuǎn)堅持你的信仰。[3]641
(50)She held firm to her principles.她堅持自己的原則。[2]651
因此,原譯文宜改為:A teacher should have the courage not only to hold firm to the truth but also to admit his mistake.
原文:坐在書桌旁往外看,我的窗外周圍只是一座一座的長長方方的宿舍樓,樓與樓之間還沒有一棵樹木!
譯文:Whenever I looked out of the window sitting at my desk, what struck my eye at once would be a cluster of rectangular dormitory buildings standing side by side without a single tree in-between.[16]51
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文有誤。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,動詞sit,lie和stand等動詞,其后可用分詞同謂語動詞互為伴隨情況,兩者的動作順序不可顛倒。例如:
(51)She sat singing a merry song.她坐著唱一首歡快的歌。[19]624
(52)I was sitting at the desk reading.我坐在桌子旁看書。[20]633
(53)He was lying on the bed smoking a cigarette.他躺在床上抽煙。[10]814
(54)He lay on the floor reading a book.他躺在地板上看書。[3]1006
(55)We all stood around in the corridor waiting.我們都隨處站在過道里等著。[2]1713
(56)People were standing about at street corners talking.人們?nèi)齼蓛傻卣驹诮诸^轉(zhuǎn)角處談話。[5]1962
因此,原譯文宜改為:Whenever I sat at my desk looking out of the window,what struck my eye at once would be a cluster of rectangular dormitory buildings standing side by side without a single tree in-between.
原文:我認(rèn)為,習(xí)慣不屬于意識形態(tài)范圍,它有一種“慣性”。
譯文:I think habits do not come under the category of ideology, but have something to do with inertia.[16]64
筆者認(rèn)為盡管原譯文并不絕對不正確,不過,在地道的英語中,當(dāng)主句的謂語動詞是think,believe,suppose,imagine等時,往往要用否定轉(zhuǎn)移(transferred negation),形式上是否定主句中的動詞,但在意義上卻否定賓語從句中謂語動詞。[12]1495例如:
(57)I don’t think it’s a good idea.我認(rèn)為那不是一個好主意。[12]1495
(58)I don’t suppose that it is true.我認(rèn)為那不是真的。(Ibid.)
(59)I don’t believe he can fix the bike.我認(rèn)為他修不好這輛自行車。[7]162
(60)I don’t imagine (that) they’ll refuse.我認(rèn)為他們不會拒絕。[2]878
因此,原譯文宜改為:I do not think habits come under the category of ideology, but have something to do with inertia.這樣改更符合英語的表達習(xí)慣。
原文:唉,這怎么好呢?我一點事也不想做,而且也不能做。
譯文:Oh,my! I’m not in a mood to do anything, nor am I able to.[16]106
原文:我卻懶得花這種心思。
譯文:I, nevertheless, have never been in a mood for doing the same.[21]98
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的in a mood用法均欠妥。在英語中,in a mood 與in the mood意思不一樣,前者表示“壞心境;壞脾氣”,而后者則表示“有心情;情緒好”。[2]1122例如:
(61)She’s in a mood this morning.她今天早上心情不好。[3]1143
(62)I wonder why he’s in such a mood today.不知道他為什么今天脾氣這么壞。[2]1122
(63)I’m very tired, and not in the mood to argue.我很累了,沒有心情同你爭辯。[3]1143
因此,原譯文宜分別改為:1.Oh,my! I’m not in the mood to do anything, nor am I able to.2.I, nevertheless,have never been in the mood for doing the same.
原文:提著行李包,撐著雨傘排進等出租汽車的長隊,沒希望。
譯文:I joined a long queue for taxis with luggage and umbrella in hand, but to no avail.[16]177
原句中的with luggage and umbrella in hand不符合英語的表達習(xí)慣。在英語中,要么用with + sth.+ prep.+ one’s + n.(身體部位名詞),要么用(不加冠詞的)n.+ prep.+(不加冠詞的)n.(身體部位名詞),兩者不可混用。例如:
(64)He went off, gun in hand.他走了,手中握著槍。[12]25
(65)He sat there thinking, with his head on his hand.他坐在那里,手托著頭思考著。[12]27
(66)With the medicine box under her arm,Miss Zhao hurried off to look after the man.趙小姐挎著藥箱匆匆忙忙地離開去照料那個人。(Ibid.)
因此,原句宜改為:I joined a long queue for taxis luggage and umbrella in hand, but to no avail.也可改為:I joined a long queue for taxis with my luggage and umbrella in my hand,but to no avail.
原文:她勸說我再買一件什么,我雖然心情沉重,很想幫她的忙,但也實在沒有錢了。
譯文:She hoped that I would buy one more article from her.But, sympathetic as I was with her, I couldn’t buy anything else because I really had no more money left in my pocket.[16]281
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中,形容詞sympathetic后用介詞with不符合英語的表達習(xí)慣。sympathetic后往往跟介詞to或towards sb.表示“同情某人”[2]1792。例如:
(67)I’m sympathetic to parents who are worried about what their children see on television.父母擔(dān)心孩子在電視上看到的東西,我對他們表示同情。[4]1475
(68)I did not feel at all sympathetic towards Kate.我對凱特一點也不同情。[2]1792
如果用動詞sympathize,其后則要跟介詞with搭配。例如:
(69)I find it hard to sympathize with him.我覺得很難同情他。[2]1792
(70)We sympathized with the bereaved family.我們同情喪失親人的家庭。[8]781
因此,原譯文宜改為:She hoped that I would buy one more article from her.But,sympathetic as I was to her, I couldn’t buy anything else because I really had no more money left in my pocket.也可改為:She hoped that I would buy one more article from her.But though I sympathized with her, I couldn’t buy anything else because I really had no more money left in my pocket.
原文:當(dāng)時他的本職是任英美兩家報紙駐北平的記者。
譯文:He was then a reporter for two foreign newspapers in Peiping,owned respectively by Britons and Americans.[21]118
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的respectively用法有誤。根據(jù)英語的表達習(xí)慣,副詞respectively的位置通常放在被修飾詞的后面,不可前置, 跟中文的表達形式不同。例如:
(71)Julia Wilson and Mark Thomas, aged 17 and 19 respectively.朱莉·威爾遜和馬克·托馬斯,年齡分別為17歲和19歲。[2]1479
(72)The nurses and the miners got pay rises of 5% and 7% respectively.護士和礦工分別加薪5%和7%。[3]1482
(73)In terms of population, California and New York rank first and second respectively.就人口而言,加利福尼亞和紐約分別排名第一和第二。[4]1228
因此,原譯文宜改為:He was then a reporter for two foreign newspapers in Peiping, owned by Britons and Americans respectively.
原文:只能有多大碗,吃多少飯,找一些可以發(fā)揮自己的長處而又有利于國計民生的題目來進行研究。
譯文:I had to adapt to the new circumstances by working only on themes most familiar to me and having direct bearing on national economy and the people’s livelihood.[21]138
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的having direct bearing on 不符合英語的表達習(xí)慣。have a bearing on sth.作“關(guān)系;影響”解,其中的冠詞a,不可省略。例如:
(74)He might have information that has a bearing on the case.他也許掌握著與本案有關(guān)的情況。[5]152
(75)Recent market fluctuations have had a direct bearing on company policy.最近的市場波動直接影響到公司的政策。[10]98
(76)Regular exercise has a direct bearing on fitness and health.經(jīng)常性鍛煉對于身體健康有直接影響。[2]130
因此,原譯文宜改為:I had to adapt to the new circumstances by working only on themes most familiar to me and having a direct bearing on national economy and the people’s livelihood.
原文:經(jīng)人指引,我登上石階。
譯文:At the direction of someone, I found my way to the house and ascended its stone steps.[21]225
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的at the direction of someone不符合英語的表達習(xí)慣,介詞at要改為under。under the direction of 是習(xí)慣表達形式,其中的direction作“管理;見到;指導(dǎo)”解。[3]482例如:
(77)The investigation was carried out under the direction of a senior police officer.調(diào)查是在一名高級警官的指導(dǎo)下進行的。[3]482
(78)All work was produced by the students under the direction of John Williams.所有作品都是在約翰·威廉斯的指導(dǎo)下由學(xué)生們創(chuàng)作完成的。[2]477
因此,原譯文應(yīng)該修改為:Under the direction of someone, I found my way to the house and ascended its stone steps.
原文:別客氣!這些都是我應(yīng)該做的。其實這些舊東西您大可不必還給我。
譯文:Don’t mention it! I’ve only done my bit.You really need not return the junk to me.[21]184
原文:其實,您也大可不必還給我。這件血衣,留下來作紀(jì)念不是很好嗎?
譯文:In fact you don’t have to return them to me.Isn’t it a good idea for you to have my bloodstained garment as a keepsake?[21]184
筆者認(rèn)為原譯文中的need not return 和 don’t have to return有誤。根據(jù)上下文,很顯然,衣服已經(jīng)歸還對方,就不可用 need not return 或 don’t have to return,而要用 need not have returned。在英語中,needn’t have done sth.或need not have done sth.表示已做某事,但沒有必要這樣做。例如:
(79)You needn’t have hurried (=it was not necessary for you to hurry, but you did).你當(dāng)時不必這么匆忙。[2]1155
(80)They need not have been punished so severely.他們受到這樣嚴(yán)厲的懲罰是不必要的。[6]550
因此,原譯文宜分別改為:1.Don’t mention it! I’ve only done my bit.You really need not have returned the junk to me.2.In fact,you needn’t have returned them to me.Isn’t it a good idea for you to have my bloodstained garment as a keepsake?
從以上實例及分析中,我們可以看出,在《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選1》《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選2》《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選3》和《英譯中國現(xiàn)代散文選4》的譯文中,確實存在著一些英語慣用法方面的錯誤,使得譯文不符合英語的表達習(xí)慣。筆者認(rèn)為這些錯誤主要是由于過分規(guī)則化 (overgeneralization)而造成的(Overgeneralization occurs when a learner applies a grammar rule to forms that do not take it.[22]44)。為了避免犯英語慣用法方面的錯誤,筆者建議要多查閱工具書,特別是英語慣用法方面的工具書,而且還要進行大量閱讀,從閱讀中積累英語的慣用法。只有這樣,漢譯英時,譯文才能更地道。筆者提出上述問題,意在糾正原譯文中的一些誤譯,也供讀者參考。