文/保羅·鮑爾斯 譯介/羅懷宇

Particularly I remember the winters in Paris—not with pleasure, not with displeasure—just the blank impressions, meaningless but powerful, of the hushed, intense cold that lay over the Seine in the early morning, the lavendergray daylight that filtered down from the damp sky at noon; even on clear days the useless, impossibly distant, small sun up there above.I remember arranging my walks home from work so that I would get to the Tuileries1盧浮宮和協(xié)和廣場(chǎng)之間的一座庭園，巴黎人喜愛的散步休閑去處。in the wistful dimness of twilight.

2To be seventeen and in Paris, free to do as one liked—that was an ideal state of affairs for any aspiring artist or writer a generation ago.It was ideal even without money.Perhaps especially without money.If you had money you were somewhat suspect, since it was almost an axiom that money and artistic ability could not belong to the same person; in that case, therefore, you were expected to help keep alive those who had only artistic ability.

2在十七歲的年華置身巴黎，自由自在地做自己想做的事——這是上一代任何一個(gè)有追求的藝術(shù)家或作家夢(mèng)寐以求的理想狀態(tài)。哪怕一文不名，也十分理想，或許還尤為理想。若是頗有資財(cái)，反而會(huì)招致某種質(zhì)疑，因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)有個(gè)觀念幾乎被奉為至理，那就是人不能同時(shí)擁有金錢和藝術(shù)才華；所以，如果你有錢，人們便會(huì)認(rèn)為你應(yīng)該幫助養(yǎng)活那些只有藝術(shù)才華的人。

3But at seventeen one has energy: one can walk a few miles to save bus fare,one can run up six or seven flights to a room under the roof, one can live on a meal a day if one is not working, by staying in bed most of the time and eating bread.I went for months without a bath,washed my own clothes, was gnawed by bedbugs every night, and put up with a hundred inconveniences (any one of which, had I had to endure it in America,would have been downright hell) and loved it all, because I was in Paris.

3但是十七歲的年華有的是精力：可以為了省下公交車錢步行幾英里；也可以爬六七段樓梯，回到自己的閣樓蝸居；要是沒工作，可以一天只吃一頓，大部分時(shí)間待在床上，面包果腹。我曾一連幾個(gè)月沒洗過(guò)澡，自己動(dòng)手洗衣服，每天夜里被臭蟲叮咬，忍受著千般不便（換作在美國(guó)，任何一種都是絕對(duì)無(wú)法忍受的）卻仍樂在其中，因?yàn)槲沂窃诎屠琛?/p>

4I suppose it was because I felt that everybody was there.I was sharing the townwith themall.Picassowasjustgoinginto hisrag,bone and hank-of-hair2這一說(shuō)法源自吉普林的詩(shī)歌“吸血鬼”（The Vampire）第三行“To a rag and a bone and a hank of hair”。在藝術(shù)家圈子里，該說(shuō)法常被用來(lái)指“憔悴，潦倒”的狀況。

4我尋思，這可能是因?yàn)槲矣X得大小人物都生活在那里。我是在和他們所有人分享這座城市。畢加索正要進(jìn)入他衣衫襤褸、形容枯槁、不修邊幅的時(shí)期；格特魯?shù)隆に固┮蛘诰o張籌備自費(fèi)刊行她的作品；斯特拉文斯基正在譜寫他的《詩(shī)篇交響曲》；喬伊斯正在創(chuàng)作他的《進(jìn)行中的作品》；達(dá)基列夫在那里創(chuàng)建了陣容華麗的芭蕾舞團(tuán)。再有，就是巴黎文藝界的各種爭(zhēng)斗和丑聞，這些在我看來(lái)最為緊要：某種程度上，這就像戰(zhàn)時(shí)住在一個(gè)睜眼能看見前線的地方，你因事關(guān)生死而對(duì)戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)結(jié)局很是憂心。在屬于他們的夜店里，超現(xiàn)實(shí)主義者定期上演著激戰(zhàn)：任何一場(chǎng)藝術(shù)展示幾乎都會(huì)有幾個(gè)警察坐鎮(zhèn)。那是暴力美學(xué)的巔峰時(shí)代，震撼是創(chuàng)意藝術(shù)家們的基本動(dòng)機(jī)。period; Gertrude Stein was busily preparing to publish her own works in the Plain Edition3指斯泰因和她的伴侶愛麗絲·B.托克勒斯在1930 年到1933 年間依靠出售她們收藏的畢加索畫作自費(fèi)出版的五本書。; Stravinsky was writing theSymphonie des Psaumes; Joyce was in the middle of hisWork in Progress4指喬伊斯在巴黎創(chuàng)作的名作《芬尼根守靈夜》。喬伊斯一直保持神秘，外界只知該作品為“進(jìn)行中的作品”，直到1939 年5 月該作品以Finnegan’s Wake 為名出版。;Diaghilev was there with his magnificent troupe5達(dá)基列夫被譽(yù)為俄羅斯芭蕾舞之父，1909 年在巴黎創(chuàng)立俄羅斯芭蕾舞團(tuán)。.Then, too, it seemed to me that the struggles and scandals that went on in the art world there were of supreme importance: in a way it was like living within sight of the front during a war in whose outcome you were vitally interested.The Surrealists were regularly staging pitched battle in their own night clubs: the presence of a few policemen was almost a necessity at any artistic manifestation.It was the culmination of an era of aesthetic violence,in which the basic desire of the creative artist was to shock.

5對(duì)于藝術(shù)家、潛在藝術(shù)家以及無(wú)數(shù)必須與某種藝術(shù)或藝術(shù)工作者建立聯(lián)系的人，巴黎遠(yuǎn)不止是一座由大道、咖啡館、商店、燈火通明的夜總會(huì)、公園、博物館和古跡組成的富麗堂皇的城市。它本身就是一塊完整的大陸，每一個(gè)地方都必須用腳步去丈量。我不知道，在巴黎的街道上我到底走過(guò)幾千英里路程了，從萬(wàn)塞訥森林到肖蒙山丘公園，從歐特伊到沙朗通，我一直試圖穿透、理解和融入籠罩著這座城市的神秘感，找尋不為人知的失落之所，發(fā)掘前所未見的新奇巷弄，其中的許多仍歷歷在目。無(wú)窮無(wú)盡的多樣性融匯成一個(gè)和諧的整體，每一天必能發(fā)現(xiàn)直擊靈魂的新意——正是這些賦予了住在巴黎的藝術(shù)家一種滿足感和精神上的幸福。我認(rèn)為，也正是這些，而不是巴黎提供的那些更具體的福利，使巴黎成為全世界藝術(shù)家的重要聚集地。

5For artists, would-be artists and those numberless people for whom association with art of some sort, and with those who practice it, is a necessity,Paris is much more than a splendid city of boulevards, cafés, shops, bright night spots, parks, museums and historical monuments.It is a complete continent in itself, every region of which must be explored on foot.I wonder how many thousands of miles I myself must have covered, walking in the streets there,from the Bois de Vincennes6巴黎城東南的一大片森林，也是巴黎最大的公園，始建于拿破侖三世時(shí)期。to the Buttes-Chaumont7巴黎東北部的一座公園，是巴黎第五大公園，始建于拿破侖三世時(shí)期。, from Auteuil8位于巴黎十六區(qū)，是著名的富人住宅區(qū)，也曾是雨果、莫里哀、普魯斯特的出生地。to Charenton9又稱沙朗通勒蓬（Charenton-le-Pont），是巴黎東南郊的一個(gè)市鎮(zhèn)，人口稠密。, always seeking to penetrate,understand, participate in the sense of mystery that enveloped the city, looking for lost quarters that nobody knew,unearthing strange little alleys that were like nothing I had ever seen before, and many of which still remain intact as images in my mind’s eye.Infinite variety in a harmonious whole, the certainty of discovering something new and poignant each day—such things give the artist who lives in Paris a sense of satisfaction and spiritual well-being.I think it is they, rather than the more tangible benefits Paris provides, that make it the principal gathering place for artists from every part of the world.

6要說(shuō)具體的福利，過(guò)去無(wú)疑比現(xiàn)在多。曾經(jīng)有段時(shí)間，似乎整個(gè)左岸都是為藝術(shù)家而存在的。他們?cè)谀抢飿返闷渌?，設(shè)定那里的生活節(jié)奏，而且通常都能籌集到足夠的錢維持他們出入酒店客房、咖啡館和餐廳。然而，今時(shí)不同往日，巴黎飲食價(jià)格高到離譜，住房緊缺程度在歐洲也是數(shù)一數(shù)二的。如今，普通藝術(shù)家的生活與用酒瓶插根蠟燭點(diǎn)亮閣樓單間的傳統(tǒng)“波西米亞式生活”已經(jīng)大相徑庭。過(guò)去是破舊，如今是慘淡。單間不再是給他們住的；富裕的布爾喬亞們?cè)缫寻徇M(jìn)這些閣樓單間，他們認(rèn)為住在有“藝術(shù)”氛圍的地方很時(shí)尚。對(duì)于普通藝術(shù)家，就連公寓樓頂上的仆人間都太過(guò)昂貴。事實(shí)上，他們正被迫從巴黎市中心搬到貧民窟，對(duì)生活已經(jīng)頗感絕望。他們?cè)诙肥抑凶耘胱允常?jīng)常還得提桶去院子里的水龍頭接水，然后爬好幾層樓提回家。

6In the past those tangible benefits have doubtless been greater than they are today.There was a time when it seemed as though the entire Left Bank existed primarily for the artist.He was the one who was at home there, the rhythm of life was set by him, and the hotel rooms,cafés and restaurants were accessible to him for a sum he could usually manage to raise.Not so today, with food prices at astronomical levels, and Paris in the grip of one of the worst housing shortages in Europe.Now the average artist’s life has little in common with the traditional vie de bohème of the attic studio lit by a candle stuck into a wine bottle.It used to be shabby; now it is grim.The studios are not for him; they have been moved into long since by prosperous bourgeois10此處若譯作“資產(chǎn)階級(jí)”似不甚貼切，故選用特定文學(xué)內(nèi)涵的“布爾喬亞”一詞，以吻合流行于上世紀(jì)巴黎的“資產(chǎn)階級(jí)情調(diào)”。who consider it chic to live in places with an “artistic” atmosphere.Even the servants’ rooms at the tops of the apartment houses are too expensive for him.He is literally being forced from the center of Paris out into the slums, and his life has become pretty desperate.When he eats he cooks the food himself in his tiny room, and he often has to carry his water up several flights in a pail from the tap in the courtyard below.

7It is not surprising that recently there has been inaugurated a kind of “return to the soil” movement.A number of people practicing the various arts get together and rent a small house out in the suburbs.This they can get without key money.(Key money has nothing to do with rent;it is an extra bonus you must give the proprietor for the privilege of moving in, and the key money for an average studio in Paris is in the neighborhood of one thousand dollars.) Then they divide up the house to suit their requirements,

7一場(chǎng)“回歸鄉(xiāng)土”運(yùn)動(dòng)近來(lái)開始興起也就不足為奇了。一群從事各類藝術(shù)的人聚到一起，在郊外租一座小房子。這種房子不用支付附加費(fèi)。（附加費(fèi)不是租金，是必須額外付給房東的入住好處費(fèi)，在巴黎，一個(gè)普通單間的附加費(fèi)在1000 美元上下。）之后，他們根據(jù)需要對(duì)房子進(jìn)行分配，再種上一個(gè)菜園，然后入住，要進(jìn)城就騎自行車。菜園可以在很大程度上幫他們減少開支。這樣的生活與人們對(duì)巴黎藝術(shù)家生活的傳統(tǒng)想象有很大落差。可以想見，這場(chǎng)運(yùn)動(dòng)最終可能會(huì)產(chǎn)生深遠(yuǎn)的美學(xué)影響，近年出現(xiàn)的以具象繪畫替代抽象和非客觀主義的趨勢(shì)或許就是其表現(xiàn)。無(wú)論從哪個(gè)角度看，如今，普通藝術(shù)家（僅畫家據(jù)估就有約46800 人）在巴黎的日子都不怎么好過(guò)。plant a vegetable garden and settle in, using bicycles when they want to get into town.The garden is a great aid to the budget.This kind of life is a far cry from the traditional idea of the life of an artist in Paris, and it is conceivable that such a movement could eventually have farreaching aesthetic repercussions, perhaps in line with the recent tendency to forsake abstraction and non-objectivism for representational painting.In any case,the average artist in Paris (and of painters alone it is estimated that the city now has approximately 46,800) is not faring too well these days.

8Art students are even worse off, because in order to attend the academies they must live in the middle of town in furnished rooms, and they must depend more upon restaurants for their food,despite the fact that they generally have very little money left by the time they have paid their rent.There is a student foyer for them, near the Beaux Arts,where they can eat meals composed principally of soup and starches for 70 francs (about twenty cents)11經(jīng)查考，作者17 歲亦即1927 年時(shí)，法郎對(duì)美元匯率約為1:0.04，故70 法郎約合280 美分。此處70 法郎或因作者記憶或書寫錯(cuò)誤，似應(yīng)為7 法郎。（譯文遵從了原文，以示對(duì)作者的尊重。）, and that is help.But the academies, which are useful above all as training centers for pedagogues, do not hold students with true creative talent for very long: these break away and work on their own, in collective studios and in their rooms.■

8藝術(shù)生境況更差。因?yàn)?，為了上美術(shù)學(xué)院，他們必須租住市區(qū)帶家具的房間，雖然交完房租后一般剩不了什么錢，他們經(jīng)常還得上餐館用餐。國(guó)立高等美術(shù)學(xué)院附近開了個(gè)學(xué)生灶，在那里，他們花70 法郎（約合20 美分）就可以吃上一頓，主要是湯和淀粉類食物，倒也頂用。然而，一般的美術(shù)學(xué)院僅是培訓(xùn)中心，主要面向那些想當(dāng)美術(shù)教師的人，無(wú)法長(zhǎng)期留住真正有創(chuàng)造才華的學(xué)生：這些人會(huì)脫離學(xué)院自己打拼，要么加入集體工作室，要么就在自己的住處。 □