譙麗

寒冷的冬季，冷清的街道，可憐的小男孩為了籌集學(xué)費(fèi)挨家挨戶地推銷商品，卻一件商品都沒有賣出去。又冷又餓的他會怎么辦呢？

This winter， the weather was unusually cold. There was a strong wind at this moment， and the branches were blowing in disorder. The wind was bone chilling. In the street， a poor boy couldnt stop shivering in his thin clothes. He was trying to pay his way through school by selling goods door to door but nobody bought his goods the whole morning. With only one dime （十分錢） left in his pocket， he felt discouraged， tired and

hungry. For a moment， he wanted to give up and quit his dream. Finally， he decided to pluck up his courage to beg for something to eat at the next house.

Taking a deep breath， the boy knocked at the door. However， he lost his nerve when a lovely young lady opened the door. So instead of a meal， he asked for a drink of water. With a broad smile， the lady brought him a large glass of warm milk. He drank it slowly， and then asked， “How much do I owe you？”

“You dont owe me anything，” she replied gently. “Mother has taught me never to

accept payment for a kindness.”

“Then I thank you from the bottom of my heart，” he thanked. With these words， he bowed to the lady. As the boy left that house， not only did he feel stronger physically， but it also increased his faith in the future and the human race. Walking on the street， he felt it didnt seem to be as cold as it was just now.“The spring will come soon，” he thought.

Years later， the young woman became seriously ill. The local doctors were baffled （難?。? So they finally sent her to the big city， where specialists could be called in to study her rare disease.

Dr Howard Kelly， who was a famous doctor， was called in for the consultation.

閱讀上面的材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1：

When he heard the name of the town that she came from， a strange light filled his eyes.

Paragraph 2：

Feeling better and better day by day， the young lady felt grateful to Dr Howard Kelly， but at the same time， she was worried about the expense.

Step 1 語篇研讀

文本梳理

寒冷的冬季，冷清的街道，可憐的小男孩為了籌集學(xué)費(fèi)挨家挨戶地推銷商品，卻一件商品都沒有賣出去。又冷又餓又絕望，他想要放棄了。他太餓了，再三猶豫后，鼓起勇氣敲響了下一戶人家的門，想討要一點(diǎn)吃的。然而，正是這一扇門帶給了他希望。

Step 2 情節(jié)構(gòu)思

續(xù)寫第一段：

（一）從故事最后一段這位年輕女士被轉(zhuǎn)到大城市的醫(yī)院接受治療和 Dr Howard Kelly的出現(xiàn)這些情節(jié)，我們可以推測接下來應(yīng)該寫Dr Howard Kelly治療這位女士的疾病。

（二）從續(xù)寫第一段的段首句，我們得知當(dāng)聽到這位女士所在小鎮(zhèn)的名稱時，Dr

Howard Kelly眼里閃過不一樣的光。我們可根據(jù)以下問題進(jìn)行推測：

1. Why did a strange light fill his eyes when hearing where the lady came from？

2. Who was Dr Howard Kelly？

3. What would he do to confirm his assumption （猜想）？

4. What would he do when he recognized the lady？

（三）續(xù)寫第二段的段首句“Feeling better and better day by day... about the expense.”預(yù)示了這位女士的治療很成功。因此，續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)該包括以上所有信息。

續(xù)寫第二段：

（一）根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的段首句“Feeling better and better... but at the same time， she was worried about the expense.”可知，這位女士很擔(dān)心昂貴的治療費(fèi)用。我們可根據(jù)以下問題進(jìn)行推測：

1. Why was the lady worried about the expense？

2. Would Dr Howard Kelly do something for the treatment expense and what would he do？

（二）從作者的寫作目的推測故事的結(jié)局。通過閱讀前文，我們不難發(fā)現(xiàn)文章主題應(yīng)該是kindness and love，為確保主題一致，故事最后Dr Howard Kelly很可能會幫助這位女士解決治療費(fèi)用這一問題，然后點(diǎn)題：愛和善意是可以心手相傳的。

（三）文章標(biāo)題是A glass of warm milk，通過前文我們可以知道這杯熱牛奶對當(dāng)時的小男孩是多么重要。根據(jù)首尾呼應(yīng)原則，結(jié)尾最好能夠再次出現(xiàn)這條線索，所以我們可以問問自己“How can we combine the glass of warm milk and the treatment expense

together？”。

（四）文章多處運(yùn)用環(huán)境描寫來烘托人物心情，根據(jù)續(xù)寫語言風(fēng)格一致的原則，結(jié)尾也可以用環(huán)境描寫來烘托人物心情。

Step 3 語言打磨

原文語言分析

一、語言特色

1. 豐富的with結(jié)構(gòu)，使用較為活潑、靈活。

With only one dime left in his pocket， he felt discouraged， tired and hungry.

With a broad smile， the lady brought him a large glass of warm milk.

With these words， he bowed to the lady.

2. 現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀語，與邏輯主語為主動關(guān)系，使用較為地道。

Taking a deep breath， the boy knocked at the door.

Walking on the street， he felt it didnt seem to be as cold as it was just now.

3. “not only+助動詞/be動詞/情態(tài)動詞+主語+謂語， but also+主語+謂語”的部分倒裝。not only放在句首，遵循“not only+倒裝句， but also+陳述句”的部分倒裝規(guī)律。

As the boy left that house， not only did he feel stronger physically， but it also increased his faith in the future and the human race.

4. 用環(huán)境描寫烘托人物心情。

There was a strong wind at this moment， and the branches were blowing in disorder. The wind was bonechilling. In the street， a poor boy couldnt stop shivering in his thin clothes. （表現(xiàn)了小男孩的可憐和絕望）

Walking on the street， he felt it didnt seem to be as cold as it was just now. “The spring will come soon，” he thought. （體現(xiàn)了小男孩對未來和生活充滿希望）

二、精彩表達(dá)

in disorder 橫七豎八;混亂

The wind was bonechilling. 寒風(fēng)刺骨。

couldnt/cant stop shivering 忍不住哆嗦

pluck up ones courage to do 鼓起勇氣做……

take a deep breath 深呼吸

lose ones nerve 失去勇氣

with a broad smile 笑容燦爛

from the bottom of ones heart 真誠地;從內(nèi)心（深處）

increase ones faith in 增加某人對……的信心