（一）

Like a Straw1像個(gè)吸管

There were these two not so bright guys who had to get across the desert.Since they didn’t have enough money for a car， they decided to buy a camel2.

The camel dealer3 told them that the camel would get them across the desertif they made sure he was full of water before they left. They took the camel downto the water hole， but the camel would not drink. So finally the first guy says，“Ihave an idea. Why don’t I hold his head down in the water and you suck4 on hisbutt5？ That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw.”The secondguy thought about this for a while and did what the first guy said.

After a while the first guy asks，“Well， is it working？”

The second guy said， “I think it is going to work， but you have to pick hishead up just a little because I’m just getting mud.”

有兩個(gè)不太聰明的人要橫穿沙漠。因?yàn)樗麄儧]有足夠的錢買車，所以他們決定買一只駱駝。

駱駝商人告訴他們，如果他們?cè)趩⒊讨按_保駱駝裝滿了水，駱駝會(huì)帶他們穿過沙漠。他們把駱駝帶到了水坑那兒，但是駱駝不想喝水。最后，第一個(gè)人說：“我有一個(gè)主意。為什么我不把它的頭按在水里，然后你吸它的屁股呢？這樣，水就會(huì)像吸管一樣被吸進(jìn)它的身體里?！钡诙€(gè)人想了一會(huì)兒，最后照第一個(gè)人說的做了。

過了一會(huì)兒，第一個(gè)人問：“哎，這方法有用嗎？”

第二個(gè)人回答說：“我想這是可行的，但是你必須把它的頭抬起來一點(diǎn)，因?yàn)槲椅侥喟土恕！?/p>

（二）

Good Joke有趣的笑話

One day， a lion wakes up in a bad mood. He calls out the other animals in thejungle. “I want each of you to tell a joke， but I warn6 you that if anyone of you failsto laugh， I’ll hit the one who has told it. Let’s see. Monkey， you are the first.”

Shaking with fear the monkey begins， “Two men are in the street and...”Whenhe finishes， everyone bursts7 out laughing but the tortoise8 does not. “The tortoisedidn’t laugh！ ”shouts the lion， hitting the monkey away.Then he said， “Elephant， you’re next.”The elephant begins， “A drunk walksinto a bar and...”When he finishes， all the animals laugh except the tortoise， whokeeps cool.

“The tortoise didn’t think it was funny！ ”shouted the lion. “Now it’s yourturn， Fox.”The scared fox begins， “They say that Little Red Riding Hood...”Atthat moment， the tortoise falls over laughing. “What’s wrong with you？”asked thelion. “Fox hasn’t finished yet...”The tortoise said， “The monkey’s joke ishilarious9！ ”

一天，一只獅子醒來后心情不好，它把叢林中的其他動(dòng)物都喊來。“我希望你們每個(gè)人都講一個(gè)笑話。但我警告你們，如果你們中有任何一個(gè)人不笑，我會(huì)打那個(gè)講笑話的人。讓我想想，猴子，你第一個(gè)來?！?/p>

猴子嚇得發(fā)抖，開始說：“街上有兩個(gè)人……”它說完笑話后，所有人都大笑起來，但烏龜沒笑?！盀觚敍]有笑！”獅子喊道，一下把猴子打飛了。

然后他說：“大象，你是下一個(gè)?！贝笙箝_始說：“一個(gè)醉漢走進(jìn)酒吧……”當(dāng)它說完時(shí)，除了烏龜，所有的動(dòng)物都笑了，它仍然毫不動(dòng)容。

“烏龜一點(diǎn)也不覺得好笑！”獅子喊道，“現(xiàn)在輪到你了，狐貍?！焙ε碌暮傞_始說：“他們說小紅帽……”就在這時(shí)，烏龜大笑不止?！澳阍趺戳?？”獅子問道，“狐貍還沒說完……”烏龜說：“猴子的笑話太好笑了！”

（英語原文選自：yingyuzhijia.com amp; jianshu.com）