李全忠
作者坐輪椅和自己的狗出去散步,在回程中突發(fā)事故,作者的輪椅翻倒并滾下路堤,掉進(jìn)了泥水里,作者右腿受傷,摔倒在地……
1 It was the 9th of January, a day I will remember for along time. It was a normal Sunday morning around 8:30 am,right on time for Sammys morning walk. I didnt walk becauseof my lameness, so I rode in my power wheelchair. We got outthe door and made our way towards a property near my apartmentcomplex. We got to the gate and out of the complex, andwe went left onto the extra wide sidewalk. It was about a mileswalk one way, passing a firehouse on the right side of the road,before we turned around and started back.
2 Along the path we took was a large plate over the sidewalk. I passed over it the firsttime without any problems. My wheelchair could reach up to 8 miles per hour, but we wenta little slower on our walks, around 2 miles per hour, so Sammy could keep up. Even so,this speed was pretty fast for a 15yearolddog.
3 As we turned around and made our way back, I passed over the sidewalk plate againexcept that this time it was moved without me realizing it, putting my wheelchair in thegrass on the embankment (路堤). The next thing I knew, my wheelchair started to tip over,throwing me out of the chair and rolling down the embankment into the muddy water below.
4 My right leg was hurt, and I was unable to pull myself upright. I was too weak togather my strength to call for help. The muddy water was cold and I felt it hard to breathewith my body folded and twisted in a strange position. Meanwhile, Sammy was sitting up onthe sidewalk with his leash (鏈條) caught under the tipped over wheelchair. I heard him?barking louder than ever heard. He knew that I was hurt and was in danger.
5 By the way my wheelchair tipped over, a passerbyon the street would not be able tosee it from the road. All anyone could see was a dog barking on the sidewalk almost nightacross the street near the firehouse.
Reading Check
閱讀上面的短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。
注意:
1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好。
Paragraph 1:
I could tell Sammy was trying to help me._______________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
Three firemen came to my dogs aid finally._____________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
寫作導(dǎo)引
一、語篇研讀
(一)基本要素
(二)主題探索
What is the text about? And what does the author want to tell us?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
二、續(xù)寫布局
根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段段首句的內(nèi)容“我能看出來薩米是想幫我”可知,續(xù)寫第一段可描寫薩米想盡辦法尋求幫助。具體內(nèi)容我們可根據(jù)以下問題鏈來展開:
1. What did Sammy feel and what did he do?
2. How did I feel and what did I do?
3. What is the result?
根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段段首句的內(nèi)容“三個(gè)消防員終于來幫助我的狗了”可知,續(xù)寫第二段可描寫“我”和狗被救的過程。具體內(nèi)容我們可根據(jù)以下問題鏈來展開:
1. Where did the firemen do?
2. How did Sammy feel?
3. What lesson did I learn from this experience?
續(xù)寫線索:狗叫—尋求幫助—被消防人員發(fā)現(xiàn)—被救—感悟
三、語言學(xué)習(xí)
(一)詞塊
(二)句式
1. 并列句
My right leg was hurt, and I was unable to pull myself upright. (Para. 4)
The muddy water was cold and I felt it hard to breathe with my body folded and twisted in a strange position. (Para. 4)
2. 賓語從句
He knew that I was hurt and was in danger. (Para. 4)
3. 狀語從句
It was about a miles walk one way, passing a firehouse on the right side of the road,before we turned around and started back. (Para. 1)
As we turned around and made our way back, I passed over the sidewalk plate again except that this time it was moved without me realizing it, putting my wheelchair in the grass on the embankment. (Para. 3)
4. 定語從句
All anyone could see was a dog barking on the sidewalk almost night across the street near the firehouse. (Para. 5)
(三)即學(xué)即用
1. 設(shè)法常常表揚(yáng)你的孩子,這樣你就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他們樂意向你敞開心扉。(使用并列句)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. 他說你太小了,還不明白這件事,他被要求不告訴你。(使用賓語從句)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. 昨天離開學(xué)校之前,我們打掃了教室。(使用狀語從句)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. 對于我的孩子們的未來,我唯一希望的就是他們能夠健康又快樂地成長,并最終成為他們想要成為的人。(使用定語從句)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
四、續(xù)寫技能
(一)讀后續(xù)寫三大原則
1. 原文一致原則
內(nèi)容要前后銜接,上下連貫,語言表達(dá)風(fēng)格一致。
2. 正能量原則(結(jié)局性)
故事內(nèi)容一定要有正能量,故事的結(jié)局是美滿的。如:迷路了,但最終一定回到了家;失敗了或遇到困難了,但最終一定成功了;吵架了,但最后一定是言歸于好,和睦相處;犯錯(cuò)了,最后一定會(huì)改過自新,重新做人;賊逃了,最后一定是繩之以法;等等。
3. 曲折性原則(過程性)
故事都是跌宕起伏的,其中的人物會(huì)遇到困難或問題,但最終能解決。
(二)讀后續(xù)寫四個(gè)步驟
1. 讀懂大意,理清脈絡(luò)
主要是根據(jù)記敘文的六要素弄清文章大意,特別要弄清故事的人物、時(shí)態(tài)(通常是一般過去時(shí))、事件(故事的起因和經(jīng)過)、語言特色(以便在續(xù)寫時(shí)保持語言特色前后一致)等。
2. 細(xì)讀首句,構(gòu)思框架
兩段首句定一框:由續(xù)寫的第一段首句與第二段首句確定第一段的框架。二框二首正能量:第二段的框架由第二段首句與正能量結(jié)尾來確定。
3. 增加細(xì)節(jié),開始寫作
在已定框架范圍內(nèi),依據(jù)情節(jié)發(fā)展和生活常識(shí),推斷故事中人物的所見、所聞、所思、所說、所做等,給每段增加5~8個(gè)具體細(xì)節(jié),我們稱之為“五八細(xì)節(jié)添加法”。
4. 修改潤色,整潔謄寫
審讀初稿,注意語義是否銜接,前后是否連貫,事件是否符合邏輯,語言特色是否與前文一致。在修改潤色之后,整齊工整地謄寫在答卷上。