無(wú)規(guī)矩不成方圓。遵守規(guī)則,方顯和諧。初中三年的校園生活,遵守規(guī)則的你一定有不少成長(zhǎng)和變化。請(qǐng)以“School Rules Make Me Better”為題,并根據(jù)以下要點(diǎn)和要求,用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一篇短文,描述規(guī)則給你帶來(lái)的變化和成長(zhǎng)。
要點(diǎn):(1)你的學(xué)校有哪些校規(guī);(2)遵守校規(guī)給你帶來(lái)了哪些方面的變化和成長(zhǎng);(3)向你的同學(xué)們發(fā)出倡議,呼吁大家遵守校規(guī)。
要求:(1)文中不要出現(xiàn)真實(shí)校名和師生姓名;(2)詞數(shù) 100 左右。
1. 審主題、審文體。主題內(nèi)容是描寫(xiě)校園規(guī)則給自己帶來(lái)的成長(zhǎng)變化。初中階段有不少校規(guī),在描述時(shí)注意條理清晰。文體為說(shuō)明文或議論文。
2. 審要點(diǎn)。寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容需要涵蓋題目中的三個(gè)要點(diǎn),即學(xué)校有哪些校規(guī),這些校規(guī)給你帶來(lái)了哪些方面的成長(zhǎng),倡議同學(xué)們遵守校規(guī)。要點(diǎn)要全面,可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),使文章內(nèi)容更豐富。
3. 審時(shí)態(tài)、審人稱。根據(jù)要點(diǎn),文章應(yīng)以第一人稱為主。介紹校規(guī)時(shí),應(yīng)使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí);描述校規(guī)對(duì)自己成長(zhǎng)的正面影響時(shí),可使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)或現(xiàn)在完成時(shí);發(fā)出倡議時(shí), 可使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)或根據(jù)情況使用一般將來(lái)時(shí)。
School Rules Make Me Better
It is widely believed that nothing can be accomplished without norms or standards.(開(kāi)篇用主語(yǔ)從句引出話題, 主題明確。)As students, we have to obey our school rules consciously for the purpose of self-improvement.
Our school rules which I followed every day during the past three years have made me better than before.(巧用“which”引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句和比較級(jí),來(lái)說(shuō)明遵守校規(guī)讓“我”得到成長(zhǎng)。)
First, I have to read English in a loud voice in order to master the words and grammar well. Second, we are not allowed to cut in line or talk loudly during the lunchtime. What’s more, we have to do our homework carefully and hand in it on time.
Following these rules not only helps me develop good learning habits but also enables me to study more efficiently.(以動(dòng)名詞短語(yǔ)作主語(yǔ),以“not only...but also...”表并列,是本文的一大亮點(diǎn)。) Last but not least, I realize the importance of self-discipline. I hope every student can become better by following school rules.
點(diǎn) 評(píng)
文章要點(diǎn)齊全,條理非常清晰,好詞好句頗多,如“accomplished” “consciously”“self-improvement” “efficiently”等,可見(jiàn)作者扎實(shí)的語(yǔ)言功底;句式靈活多樣,使用了主語(yǔ)從句、定語(yǔ)從句、動(dòng)名詞短語(yǔ)作主語(yǔ);“first” “second” “what’s more”“l(fā)ast but not least”等表層次的詞語(yǔ)的使用,使文章顯得脈絡(luò)清晰、流暢自然。
School Rules Make Me Better
As we all know, each school has its specific school rules. Our school rules which make me a better person are as follows.(“which”引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句修飾“rules”,既點(diǎn)題又承上啟下,自然引出下文。)
First, we can’t arrive late for class, and can’t talk loudly in class. Second, we have to keep our classroom clean.What’s more, we must read books when we’re waiting at the dining room. These rules make it possible for me to be more independent and get better grades than before.(“make it possible for sb. to do sth.”意為“使做某事對(duì)于某人來(lái)說(shuō)成為可能”,表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確貼切。)
As the saying goes, if people don’t make the rules, our society will be in chaos. If there are no rules restrict students’behavior, our school will be in a mess. Although some school rules are very strict, it’s necessary for students to follow them. Thus, I think all of us should obey the school rules. Only in this way can we achieve our goals and make great progress as well.( 此處是向同學(xué)們發(fā)出倡議, 呼吁同學(xué)們遵守校規(guī)。結(jié)尾句運(yùn)用“only+ 狀語(yǔ)或狀語(yǔ)從句放句首,句子半倒裝”的結(jié)構(gòu),再次加強(qiáng)語(yǔ)氣,升華主旨。)
點(diǎn) 評(píng)
文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰:第一段開(kāi)篇點(diǎn)題,引出下文;第二段描述校規(guī)及其給自己帶來(lái)的成長(zhǎng);最后一段發(fā)出倡議。要點(diǎn)齊全,銜接流暢。在表達(dá)方面,描述規(guī)則時(shí)運(yùn)用了“We can’t... ”“We have to...” “We must...” “It’s necessary for us to do...”的句型。在論證規(guī)則合理性時(shí)運(yùn)用了“as the saying goes”、“ if ”引導(dǎo)的條件從句、“although”引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句,收尾時(shí)運(yùn)用了倒裝句,在行文時(shí)運(yùn)用了“first”“second”“what’s more”“thus”等邏輯連接詞。寫(xiě)作技巧嫻熟,值得肯定。
(選自《中考英語(yǔ)熱點(diǎn)作文沖刺》,文心出版社,2023年8月第1版,有改動(dòng))