李志曉　閆繼權(quán)

A

文章來源：英文學(xué)習(xí)網(wǎng)

某報(bào)紙有一討論的欄目，討論的主題是good health,學(xué)生、家長、老師等對此看法不一。

假設(shè)你叫李寧，請根據(jù)以下提示寫一短文，發(fā)表你自己的看法，一定要從以下角度去寫。

1. 健康的重要性：毫無疑問，健康與我們的幸福密不可分。不管你是誰，只有擁有健康的體魄，才能享受生活的樂趣和成功的喜悅。

2. 保持身體健康的方法：進(jìn)行體育鍛煉，合理的飲食習(xí)慣，樂觀的態(tài)度。

3. 我是這樣做的：經(jīng)常打籃球，吃好睡好，勇敢面對生活。

要求：

1. 詞數(shù)：100左右。

2. 注意語句連貫。

3. 不要逐句翻譯。

1. 【思維導(dǎo)航】

這是一篇典型的提綱式作文，它是讓你對某一現(xiàn)象發(fā)表自己的看法。要求中的三個(gè)提綱給出了文章的框架，一定要用過渡詞把它們銜接起來構(gòu)成一篇完整的文章。行文應(yīng)用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。

2. 【學(xué)生習(xí)作】

試分析如下學(xué)生習(xí)作的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)并盡量改正其中的錯(cuò)誤：

There is no doubt that everyone is thirst① for good health. No matter who you are, good health can bring you lots of success and fun. Owning a healthy body is the source of happiness. Therefore, it is very important for us to keep fit.

There are many ways to keep fit. Firstly,you can have enough exercise. Second②, you should have proper eating habits. Thirdly, you should keep good spirits③.

As a middle school student, I always keep importance of health in my mind. Playing basketball is my hobby and doing it frequently makes me enough strong④. I can face the difficulties in the life positively. As a result, now Im leading a happy life.

3. 【專家點(diǎn)評】

（１）總體評價(jià)

本文的作者按照所給的要求去組織材料，從正面的角度去行文。在寫作的過程中運(yùn)用了一些表順序的詞匯和過渡詞，并且作者使這三個(gè)提綱能平行敘述下去，文章達(dá)到了一個(gè)渾然一體的境界。

（２）亮點(diǎn)或采分點(diǎn)

① Owning a healthy body is the source of happiness.

② No matter who you are, good health can bring you lots of success and fun.

③ As a result, now I am leading a happy life.

（３）錯(cuò)誤更正

① thirst是一名詞，be thirsty for是一固定短語，意思是渴望、渴求。thirst改為 thirsty。

② 因?yàn)榍懊媸褂昧薋irstly，最后使用了Thirdly，所以second應(yīng)改為secondly。

③You should keep good spirits這句詞不達(dá)意，按搭配詞典這句話的意思是“你應(yīng)該養(yǎng)善良的神靈”，應(yīng)改為you should always be in (high, great, royal) spirits.。這樣改了還沒有達(dá)到要求，最好改為you should take an optimistic attitude towards whatever you come across.

④ strong是形容詞，enough是副詞，他們的位置應(yīng)該交換，因?yàn)閑nough做副詞時(shí)它修飾形容詞或副詞，它應(yīng)位于形容詞或副詞之后。

（４）錦上添花

① 習(xí)作中的There is no doubt that everyone is thirsty for good health.也可改為Th-ere is no doubt about everybody being thirsty for good health.

② 在文章中有表達(dá)順序的三個(gè)詞匯，也可用First, Second, Third。

③ 要求第三點(diǎn)中提到了“吃好、睡好”文章中未提到此要點(diǎn)，應(yīng)補(bǔ)上I have a good, regular diet every day。

（５）五彩繽紛

本文中自由發(fā)揮的空間較大，可使用下面一些短語和句型來豐富文章的內(nèi)容，增加文章的可讀性。例如：

① to keep fit也可用to stay healthy來代替。

② as a middle school student也可用as for me, as far as Im concerned。

③ as a result也可用consequently。

4. 【參考范文】

The desire for good health is universal. The possession of good health is the source of happiness. Good health can make us face the challenge of our life; it also brings us success and pleasure. Therefore, it is of great importance to stay healthy.

Ways to keep fit are various. First, enough exercise every day is necessary. Second, in your life, proper eating habits are essential. Third, you should take an optimistic attitude towards whatever you come across.

As for me, I bear the importance of health in my mind. After school, I frequently play basketball with my classmates. I often eat well, sleep well and hold a positive attitude toward life. Therefore, I am living a happy life.

5. 【范文背誦】

請依據(jù)如下提示詞在15分鐘內(nèi)背下范文并于第二天早晨再朗讀并背誦一遍。

desire, happiness, challenge, success,

importance, ways, exercise, habits, spirits, idea, play, attitude

6. 【重寫作文】

請于三天后先用紙蒙住上述學(xué)生習(xí)作及范文并依據(jù)上述提示詞重寫作文，然后與范文進(jìn)行比較和修改。

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

B

文章來源：小學(xué)語文課本

假如你是一名美國中學(xué)生，利用暑假來中國學(xué)習(xí)漢語，在語文課上，老師要求根據(jù)下面五幅關(guān)于司馬光砸缸救人的故事的圖畫，寫一篇短文記敘這件事情。

注意：

① 短文須包括所有圖畫內(nèi)容，可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使故事連貫；

② 詞數(shù)120-140左右。

生詞提示：捉迷藏hide-and-seek n.缸vat 爬出來 crawl out

1. 【思維導(dǎo)航】

本文屬于記敘文。圖畫描述的是司馬光砸缸救人的故事，行文應(yīng)使用一般過去時(shí)。文章應(yīng)使用第三人稱形式。

2. 【學(xué)生習(xí)作】

試分析如下學(xué)生習(xí)作的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)并盡量改正其中的錯(cuò)誤：

①On one Sunday Sima Guang and his partners were playing hide-and-seek happily. One of the boys was looking for a place to hide himself. There happened to be a big vat near him. “Ill hide in the vat.” He said to himself. So he climbed up the vat and jumped into it. Bad luck! Only when he was in the vat did he find the vat was full of water. He tried to get out, but he failed, as the water was deep and the vat was high.

“Help! Help!”he cried with fear. All the other boys came to② rescue, but found they were not tall enough to save the boy. Then Sima Guang had an idea. He picked up a big stone and hit the vat broken. The water ran out to③ all directions, and the boy inside crawled out and was saved.

3. 【專家點(diǎn)評】

（１）總體評價(jià)

該文想像豐富，合情合理。審題到位，主題明確，層次分明，條理清晰，按事件發(fā)生、發(fā)展的先后順序使敘述具體、完整，語言流暢，運(yùn)用了較多的語法結(jié)構(gòu)和英語句型，有效運(yùn)用了語句間的連接成分，不失為一篇佳作，但還有一些語言錯(cuò)誤。

（２）亮點(diǎn)或采分點(diǎn)

① There happened to be a big vat near him.

② Only when he was in the vat did he find the vat was full of water.

（３）錯(cuò)誤更正

① On one Sunday中的介詞on應(yīng)該去掉。不帶介詞的類似狀語還有one morning, this Saturday, that year等。

② to 后應(yīng)添加the或his。come to the / his rescue幫助某人。

③ to all directions中的to應(yīng)改為in, in all directions向四面八方。

（４）錦上添花

① 習(xí)作中用Sima Guang had an idea，也可用An idea occurred to Sima Guang.或A good idea struck Sima Guang.或It suddenly struck Sima Guang how he could save him.。

② 習(xí)作中用the boy inside crawled out,也可用the boy inside was able to crawl out。

（５）五彩繽紛

本文中自由發(fā)揮的空間較大，可使用下面一些短語和句型來豐富文章的內(nèi)容，增加文章的可讀性。例如：

① 表達(dá)“營救困難”這一信息用They found it difficult for them to save the boy.。

② 文章結(jié)尾處最好附上一句思想性強(qiáng)的結(jié)尾What a clever boy Sima Guang was!

4. 【參考范文】

One day Sima Guang, together with some playmates was playing hide-and-seek happily. One of them was looking for a place to hide himself in. There happened to be a big vat near him. So he climbed up the vat and jumped into it. Unfortunately, it was deep and full of water. He attempted to get out, but failed.

He shouted for help with fear. All the others ran over to his help, but the vat was so high that it was well out of their reach. It suddenly struck Sima Guang how he could save him. He picked up a big stone and hit the vat. The moment the water ran out, the boy inside crawled out and was saved.

What a clever boy Sima Guang was!

5. 【范文背誦】

請依據(jù)如下提示詞在15分鐘內(nèi)背下范文并于第二天早晨再朗讀并背誦一遍。

play, hide-and-seek, look for, vat, jump, water, cry, help, Sima Guang, stone, hit, save

6. 【重寫作文】

請于三天后先用紙蒙住上述學(xué)生習(xí)作及范文并依據(jù)上述提示詞重寫作文，然后與范文進(jìn)行比較和修改。

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________