Today Im five. I was four last night going to sleep in Wardrobe， but when I wake up in Bed in the dark Im changed to five， abracadabra. Before that I was three， then two， then one， then zero. “Was I minus numbers？”

“Hmm？” Ma does a big stretch.

“Up in Heaven. Was I minus one， minus two， minus three—？”

“Nah， the numbers didnt start till you zoomed down.”

“Through Skylight. You were all sad till I happened in your tummy.”

“You said it.” Ma leans out of Bed to switch on Lamp， he makes everything light up whoosh.

I shut my eyes just in time， then open one a crack， then both.

“I cried till I didnt have any tears left，” （she tells me.）“I just lay here counting the seconds.”

“How many seconds？” （I ask her.）“Millions and millions of them.”“No， but how many exactly？”“I lost count，” （says Ma.）

“Then you wished and wished on your egg till you got fat.”

She grins. “I could feel you kicking.”

“What was I kicking？”

“Me， of course.”

I always laugh at that bit.

今天我五歲了。昨天晚上我在衣柜里睡著的時(shí)候還是四歲，而當(dāng)我躺在床上在漆黑中醒來時(shí)，我五歲了。像被施了咒語一樣神奇。在這之前，我三歲、兩歲、一歲、零歲。“我負(fù)歲過嗎？”

“唔？”媽媽伸了個(gè)大大的懶腰。

“在天堂里，我是不是負(fù)一歲、負(fù)兩歲、負(fù)三歲……”

“沒，在你從天而降之前是不算歲數(shù)的。”

“劃過天窗，我掉到了你的肚子里，從此你就不再傷心了。”

“說得沒錯(cuò)。”媽媽側(cè)倚在床上伸手開了燈，他總是讓所有東西嗖地亮起來。

我趕忙閉上了眼，然后睜開一條縫，再睜開一只眼睛，接著把兩只都睜開了。

“你來之前，我哭到再也流不出一滴眼淚，”（媽媽告訴我。）“我就躺在這兒數(shù)秒數(shù)。”

“數(shù)了多少秒？”（我問她。）

“成百萬上億秒?！?/p>

“不，到底有多少秒呢？”

“我數(shù)糊涂了，”（媽媽說。）

“你心里不斷祈禱著能有一個(gè)寶寶，然后你的肚子越來越大?！?/p>

她咧嘴笑了。“我可以感覺到你在踢。”

“我在踢什么呢？”

“當(dāng)然是踢我啦?！?/p>

每次說到這我都會大笑。

“From the inside， boom boom.” Ma lifts her sleep T-shirt and makes her tummy jump. “I thought， Jacks on his way. First thing in the morning， you slid out onto the rug with your eyes wide open.”

I look down at Rug with her red and brown and black all zigging around each other. Theres the stain I spilled by mistake getting born. “You cutted the cord and I was free，” （I tell Ma.） “Then I turned into a boy.”

“Actually， you were a boy already.”She gets out of Bed and goes to 1）Thermostat to hot the air.

I dont think he came last night after nine， the airs always different if he came. I dont ask because she doesnt like saying about him.

“Tell me， Mr. Five， would you like your present now or after breakfast？”

“What is it， what is it？”

“I know youre excited，” （she says，） “but remember not to nibble your finger， germs could sneak in the hole.”

“To sick me like when I was three with throw-up and 2）diarrhea？”

“Even worse than that，” （says Ma，） “germs could make you die.”

“And go back to Heaven early？”

“Youre still biting it.” She pulls my hand away.“Sorry.” I sit on the bad hand. “Call me Mr. Five again.”

“So， Mr. Five，” （she says，） “now or later？”

“從里面，砰砰地響?！眿寢屜破鹚腡恤睡衣，讓肚子鼓起來。“我感覺到，我的杰克來了。早晨醒來第一件事，就是你從肚里滑出來到地毯上，眼睛睜得大大的?！?/p>

我低頭看著地毯，那上面紅、褐、黑三色交錯(cuò)著。還有一塊我“著陸”時(shí)不小心留下的污垢?！澳慵魯嗔死K子，我獲得了自由，”（我對媽媽說。）“然后我就變成了一個(gè)男孩?！?/p>

“實(shí)際上，當(dāng)時(shí)你已經(jīng)是一個(gè)男孩了。”她下床去開恒溫器讓屋里變暖和點(diǎn)。

我覺得昨晚九點(diǎn)后他沒來過，如果他來過的話，空氣會不一樣。我不問是因?yàn)閶寢尣幌矚g提起他。

“來，五歲先生，你是現(xiàn)在就要你的禮物還是等早餐后？”

“禮物是什么，是什么啊？”

“我知道你很興奮，”（她說，）“但記住了，不準(zhǔn)咬手指頭，細(xì)菌會從破的地方鉆進(jìn)去。”

“那會讓我生病，就像我三歲時(shí)那樣上吐下瀉？”

“甚至比那還糟糕，”（媽媽說。）“細(xì)菌還可能會要了你的小命?！?/p>

“那我就要早些回天堂去了？”

“你還在咬。”她將我的手拉開。

“對不起?！蔽覍⒛侵徊还缘氖肿谄ü上??！霸俳形乙淮巍鍤q先生?！?/p>

“那么，五歲先生，”（她說，）“是現(xiàn)在看還是晚一點(diǎn)看？”

I jump onto Rocker to look at Watch， he says 7：14. I can skateboard on Rocker without holding on to her， then I whee back onto Duvet and Im snowboarding instead. “When are presents meant to open？”

“Either way would be fun. Will I choose for you？” （asks Ma.）

“Now Im five， I have to choose.” My fingers in my mouth again， I put it in my 3）armpit and lock shut. “I choose—now.”

She pulls a something out from under her pillow. I think it was hiding all night invisibly. Its a tube of ruled paper， with the purple ribbon all around from the thousand chocolates we got the time Christmas happened. “Open it up，” （she tells me.） “Gently.”

I figure out to do off the knot， I make the paper flat， its a drawing， just pencil， no colors. I dont know what its about， then I turn it. “Me！”Like in Mirror but more， my head and arm and shoulder in my sleep T-shirt. “Why are the eyes of the me shut？”

“You were asleep，” （says Ma.）

“How you did a picture asleep？”

“No， I was awake. Yesterday morning and the day before and the day before that， I put the lamp on and drew you.”

我跳上搖椅看了看墻上的鐘，上面寫著七點(diǎn)十四分。我可以在搖椅上滑行不用手扶，然后嗖地一下滑到羽絨被上，接著“滑雪”。“禮物應(yīng)該在什么時(shí)候打開？”

“隨便哪個(gè)時(shí)間都會很有趣。要我為你決定嗎？”（媽媽問。）

“我現(xiàn)在五歲了，我得自己拿主意?！蔽矣职咽稚爝M(jìn)了嘴里，但馬上放到了腋窩下，夾緊?！拔覜Q定——現(xiàn)在看。”

她從枕頭下抽出一樣?xùn)|西，我想它整晚都悄悄地躲在那。那是一卷橫線紙，用紫色緞帶纏繞著。那些緞帶來自圣誕節(jié)時(shí)我們收到的無數(shù)盒巧克力?！按蜷_它，”（媽媽說。）“要輕輕地。”

我費(fèi)了好大勁才解開了花結(jié)，把紙展平。是一幅畫。是用鉛筆畫的，沒上顏料。我沒看明白畫的是什么，接著我把畫掉了個(gè)個(gè)?！笆俏遥　本拖袷钦甄R子，但畫面更豐富，我的頭、胳膊和罩在T恤睡衣里的肩膀。“為什么這個(gè)我眼睛閉著？”

“你睡著了，”（媽媽說。）

“你怎么能在睡著的時(shí)候畫畫呢？”

“不，我是醒著的。昨天早晨，前天，還有大前天，我開著臺燈畫了你。”