By Sophis Zhang

∷黃湘淇 注

在三十而立之前，我們都要經(jīng)歷一個(gè)十年的成長(zhǎng)借用狄更斯的話：這是最好的時(shí)代，也是最壞的時(shí)代；這是智慧的時(shí)代，也是愚蠢的時(shí)代；這是信仰的時(shí)代，也是懷疑的時(shí)期；這是光明的季節(jié)，也是黑暗的季節(jié)；這是希望之春，也是失望之東；人們面前有著各樣事物，人們面前一無(wú)所有。

I'm entering a generation that is selflessly selfish. We are the young teenty-year olds that will spend our lives traveling to Africa and other poverty-stricken areas to solve the AIDS crisis.We are the young,eager twenty-year oklds who want to make a difference, who are convinced we will be the generation who will find a cure for cancer and find an environmentally friendly way to drive cars that doesn't compromise the development of any nation.1.二十出頭的我們心潮澎湃，想要做出改變，堅(jiān)信我們這一代可以找到治愈癌癥的妙方，找到環(huán)保的開車方式，使其不影響國(guó)家發(fā)展。compromise：妥協(xié)，危害。We are the generation of people who will,people who want,and people who try.

But at the same time,our generation is lesst likely to have children in their twenties,if at all.We are the generation who are most likely to be unemployed after graduation,who spend their Friday and Saturday nights rotting at home,huddled under their blankets watching old reruns of television shouw and ordering pizza delivery.2.我們這一代，最可能一畢業(yè)就失業(yè)，宅在家里打發(fā)周五和周六晚上，窩在毯子里看著老電視重播，再點(diǎn)上一份披薩外賣。huddle:蜷縮，擠作一團(tuán)；rerun:重播。I say we are sel flessly sel fish because we have grand ideas of what the world should be and what we want the world to be—yet at the same time, we can’t get out of our own heads and convince ourselves that today is the day to make a change.We always want to wait for tomorrow, until it is either too late or we convince ourselves that we can no longer make a difference.

I often read online articles written by individuals around my age. The articles are beautifully written and I often find myself thinking, “I feel the exact same way.” Yet the articles are the classic example of our generation’s tendency to overthink. We overthink so much, that we convince ourselves that we are correct.We like to be decapitated with mental ailments,3. decapitate: 斬首，殺頭，此處指“被精神疾病折磨死”；ailment:疾病。and we tell ourselves that we are strong just for getting up in the morning. We like to write about our

strength in the midst of heartbreak and depression and tragedy, but we never talk about our strength carrying into accomplishments that we achieve for ourselves. We never talk about that same strength being applied to finishing that one LSAT4. LSAT: Law School Admissions Test，法學(xué)院入學(xué)考試。book and getting into law school. We never talk about the same strength gracing us with inspiration.

As a twenty-year old myself, I admit that I have let this self-pity control me at times. Sometimes it can be entirely absorbing. It’s so much easier to sit on the couch and watch television instead of opening that book and reading it. It’s so much more comfortable to eat ice cream straight out of the can and delay studying for just“one more day.” This mentality isn’t unique to my generation, but my generation has developed the ability to make such elaborate,rational-sounding excuses that they sound like legitimate justi fications.5. 這種心態(tài)不是我們這一代獨(dú)有的，但我們卻有本事去精心編造這些理直氣壯的借口，讓它們聽起來(lái)合情合理。elaborate: 精心編造的；legitimate: 合理的，正當(dāng)?shù)?；justi fication: 理由，辯護(hù)。

Sometimes I feel disappointed in myself. When I was younger,I had the ability to sit and just write and write and write. I produced a full length novel when I was just in high school. At twenty, my novels have become short stories. My short stories have become poems. My poems have become un finished works.

Writing academic papers zaps6. zap: 殺死。the energy out of me, and I no longer feel like creating art is a hobby. I see it as yet another burden I have to get through before I can relax and watch an episode7. episode:（電視劇的）一集。of my favorite television show. This is so disappointing, but this has become the reality of my life.

But here’s the good news: we’re still young. We’re so young. At twenty, we are never pigeonholed.8. 二十出頭的我們從來(lái)不拘一格。pigeonhole:（常指不考慮所有特性地）給……分類。We have a lifetime ahead of us to change that, to travel, and to make changes that will inspire us. But we have to be conscious of our reality and feel the drive to make that change. We need to recognize that we’re not doing all that we can with our lives. Because here’s the catch: we may be twenty now, but we won’t be twenty forever. Our lives will go by faster than we think if we keep wasting it away and spend the entirety of our days feeling good about not doing anything.

I miss feeling excited about reading and writing. When I graduated from high school, I had such high expectations for college. I thought I would come out of college ready to take on anything, maybe with three or four finished full-length novels under my belt9. under one’s belt: 被自己獲得（或掌握、記住、經(jīng)歷過(guò)）。, full of interesting ideas. But I realize that maybe I’ve taken a step backwards. After reading hundreds and hundreds of academic papers, reading is a chore10. chore: 討厭的或累人的工作。. I find it dif ficult to focus. And now I realize it’s not the job of professors and teachers to change you—it’s your own job to take what they teach you and change yourself.

It’s probably not doing my school justice if I say I haven’t changed at all for the better. Despite my lack of inspiration,I have become more perceptive11. perceptive: 有認(rèn)知能力的，有洞察力的。and selfaware. The next step is for me to channel12. channel: v. 引導(dǎo)。that awareness into something great. I may have disappointed myself recently,but it’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to make a difference. I’m not going to lie and say that it’s never too late, but I will say that I’m still young. And for now,tomorrow still means something.