My New Years resolutions

尹卓遠(yuǎn)

Resolutions are promises to yourself. They may help to make you a better person and to make your life easier. I am going to make four New Years resolutions.

The first resolution is about losing weight. Im going to get lots of exercise. The second resolution is about studying hard. Im going to get good grades. The third resolution is about sports. Im going to make the basketball team. The last resolution is about health. Im going to eat healthier food.

In a word， doing speaks louder than saying. So I will try my best to keep them.

劉巧云老師點(diǎn)評(píng)：本文小作者采用三段式總分總結(jié)構(gòu)表述了自己的新年決心，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，無(wú)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，且含情感目標(biāo)。首段簡(jiǎn)要陳述了什么是決心（resolution）以及決心的作用，并說(shuō)明自己新年有四個(gè)決心要做的事（承上啟下）。接下來(lái)第二段就具體呈現(xiàn)了自己的四個(gè)新年計(jì)劃，用到了序數(shù)詞the first，the second等，條理清晰自然，但從這4條決心來(lái)看，其實(shí)可以更好地予以歸類(lèi)來(lái)陳述，如可以歸類(lèi)成2類(lèi)：Ideal for improving physical health；Ideal for doing better at school，使文章更精煉。最后一段滲透了德育，小作者加入了諺語(yǔ)，起到了點(diǎn)睛的作用，但“In a word”放在這里，值得商榷。

范文：

Resolutions are promise to yourself. They may help to make you a better person and to make your life easier. I am going to make two New Years resolutions.

The first resolution is about improving my physical health. To lose weight， Im going to get lots of exercise and eat healthier food. Whats more， Im going to make the basketball team. The second resolution is about how to do better at school. Im going to study hard and follow the teacher so that I can get good grades.

As we all know， doing speaks louder than saying. So I will try my best to keep my resolutions， which are also my promises.

My classroom

劉雨舟

My classroom is very good. Because my classroom is cool on summer. I like my desk and chair very much. Because they help me a lot. I have many good sentences on my desk. For example， “No rules no games.” When I was tired， Im thinking these sentences. They talked me that I cant fall asleep. Because I must study hard. Now， I have to leave here. I will remember my desk and my chair. Because they are my friends.

Bob老師點(diǎn)評(píng)：這篇文章學(xué)生描述了喜歡教室的什么以及離開(kāi)教室的感受，思路基本清晰，作為考場(chǎng)作文，基本上達(dá)到了要求。但缺乏對(duì)教室的整體描述，要是有從整體到細(xì)節(jié)的描述就更好。另外要避免謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞、連詞、介詞等的常見(jiàn)錯(cuò)誤（斜體部分）。

范文：

There are forty desks in my classroom. In every desk there are many books. On the wall there are educational pictures. The floor is very clean. There is a TV set in the front of the classroom.What is different from others is our class motto： Study hard， play hard. Enjoy study， enjoy life. I like the motto best， because it makes us know how to live a happy and efficient life. Saying goodbye to the classroom is the wonderful beginning of a new life. At this point I will say： Enjoy saying goodbye， enjoy new life.