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循規(guī)但不蹈矩,合理拓展細(xì)節(jié)—應(yīng)用文寫作專題之“求助與建議”

2018-07-04 01:50吳俊峰浙江省常山縣第一中學(xué)
作文新天地 2018年16期
關(guān)鍵詞:應(yīng)用文開放性要點

◎吳俊峰 浙江省常山縣第一中學(xué)

“Roses given,fragrance in hand.”意思是“愛出者愛返,福往者福來”。我們每個人都不是孤島,往往需要向他人求助,也會以建議等方式助人。這個過程中,播下的是希望,傳遞的是愛心。

求助是一種很重要的社交和生存能力,我們要掌握求助技巧并學(xué)會在困難的時候勇敢向別人求助。求助者要懂得感恩與敬畏,資助者或建議者要懂得理解與尊重。善提建議的人,往往善解人意,廣結(jié)人緣,是謙恭的人、仁義的人。

求助與助人,是良好人際關(guān)系和情感連接的紐帶,可以幫助我們提高社會交往能力,擁有和諧的人際關(guān)系,更容易走向成功,而且還能增加幸福指數(shù)。

一、求助或建議信的文體特點

求助信要從高效解決問題的角度,把求助信息用精練準(zhǔn)確和通俗易懂的方式表達(dá)出來,具體可以先簡述現(xiàn)狀和進(jìn)展(Situation&Progress),再澄清目標(biāo)和預(yù)期結(jié)果(Objective&Key Results),描述自己想到的方法和遇到的難點(Options&Problems),最后表達(dá)希望在哪些方面(想法或資源)能夠幫助到自己(Thoughts&Resources)。求助信要表達(dá)出自己希望得到幫助的急切心理和誠意。

建議信是向征詢建議者就某事提出寫信人的看法、建議或忠告;也可能是寫給某個組織或機(jī)構(gòu),就改進(jìn)其服務(wù)等提出建議或忠告。高考中此類信件多屬于半開放性作文,要求考生根據(jù)所給的材料,提出合理化建議或者針對性解決辦法。建議信除了遵循書信的格式之外,還要求在信中針對別人的問題,合情合理地給出觀點及解決辦法,并鼓勵收信人聽取建議,要有禮貌,使對方容易接受。

二、求助或建議信的內(nèi)容結(jié)構(gòu)

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三、求助或建議信的寫作要領(lǐng)

1.厘清因果邏輯,合理拓展細(xì)節(jié)

首先,高考英語應(yīng)用文寫作從功能意念的角度考查學(xué)生表達(dá)建議、求助、投訴、邀請、推薦、感謝、評價、致歉等具體的交際能力,而所有與這些功能對應(yīng)的交際內(nèi)容基本上都可以與表示原因和結(jié)果的句型疊加在一起,使句子的表意獲得強(qiáng)化的效果。其次,由于高考英語應(yīng)用文寫作所給的中文提示很少,考生需要對要點進(jìn)行合理的拓展,如果能夠使用因果邏輯來展開思考,可形成邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)、合情合理的好段落或好句子。

例如,“你就你班的戲劇排練求助正在外面旅游度假的外教”,我們可以采用因果邏輯的思維方式合理拓展細(xì)節(jié)。從結(jié)果的角度說,“如果得到了外教老師及時的幫助和指導(dǎo),我們的表演就可以更加精彩,給觀眾和裁判留下好的印象,增加我們班級獲獎的概率(If we could get your generous elp,we would impress the audience and judges with wonderful performance,which in turn would increase our chances of winning the competition.)”從原因的角度說,“您是英語母語者,是英語戲劇和文學(xué)方面的專家,我們覺得有必要向您學(xué)習(xí)和請教(Given the fact that you are an English native speaker and expert on British drama and literature,we are eager to learn from you and hope to get your guidance.)”上述兩種拓展方式很好地說明了因果邏輯的運(yùn)用價值,彰顯了良好的思維品質(zhì)。

再例如,“在澳大利亞旅游時把照相機(jī)落在了自己入住的賓館里,請賓館工作人員幫忙尋回”,我們可用因果邏輯關(guān)系合理展開要點,充分表達(dá)求助的迫切性和真誠。“考慮到相機(jī)記錄了我對你國家旅行的美好回憶,我不能失去它(原因),你能否幫我找到我的相機(jī),然后用航空郵件寄給我(結(jié)果)?(Considering the camera recorded my fond memories of my trip to your country so I can’t afford to lose it,I am wondering whether you could help me find it and send it to me by airmail.)”

再比如,“給即將來校任教的外教提教學(xué)方面的建議”,可以運(yùn)用因果邏輯使得所提建議顯得有禮有節(jié),易于對方接受?!瓣P(guān)于這門課的主題,我們希望您能讓我們了解當(dāng)前的國際事務(wù)(結(jié)果),因為這不僅會拓寬我們的視野,也會有助于我們提高考試成績(原因)。此外,由于我們中國老師測試多和節(jié)奏快的教學(xué),我們感到壓力巨大(原因),因此希望您可以放慢速度,創(chuàng)設(shè)輕松的課堂氛圍,多給我們機(jī)會來表達(dá)我們的想法(結(jié)果)。(Regarding the topics of the class,we would like you to teach current international affairs because this not only will broaden our horizon but also will contribute to improvement in ourtestscores.In addition,due to the heavy pressure from endless tests and the fast pace of teaching and learning,you’d better slow down your pace and create a relaxing atmosphere in your class,giving us more chances to express our ideas.)”

2.著力“開放要點”,循規(guī)但不蹈矩

高考英語應(yīng)用文寫作基本上是提綱式或圖表式的半開放性作文,一般題目只給出主要的寫作要點。首先,要讀懂題目要求,遵循應(yīng)用文寫作規(guī)矩,明確應(yīng)用文的體裁而選擇合適的格式,明確寫信目的與對象而選擇合適的措辭。

其次,要給寫作要點增加適當(dāng)?shù)募?xì)節(jié)讓文章內(nèi)容飽滿,而找出題目要點中的“開放性要點(即思維突破口)”,弄清主要點和次要點,是恰當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)的關(guān)鍵。然而,很多學(xué)生不知道應(yīng)該怎樣增加信息,干脆就不增加,導(dǎo)致信件的內(nèi)容空洞;也有學(xué)生由于不知道增加什么信息比較適當(dāng),往往會在寫作中增加一些不相關(guān)的內(nèi)容。因此我們要思路清晰,著力于“開放性要點”;邏輯性強(qiáng),確保要點主次分明、齊全并準(zhǔn)確;語言利落,確保清晰有效地傳遞信息。寫作時忌隨心所欲,東拉西扯,不著邊際,內(nèi)容要點不全,表達(dá)思路不清。

例如,《2015·新課標(biāo)全國卷Ⅰ》中:“假定你是李華,你校英文報‘外國文化’欄目擬刊登介紹美國節(jié)日風(fēng)俗和中學(xué)生生活的短文。請給美國朋友彼得寫信約稿,要點如下:1.欄目介紹;2.稿件內(nèi)容;3.稿件長度:約400詞;.交稿日期:6月28日前。”試題中第1個要點是欄目介紹,題目中沒有對其進(jìn)行過多的解釋,就屬于開放性要點;第2個要點是稿件內(nèi)容,題目中雖有提及,但沒有細(xì)化其內(nèi)容,也屬于開放性要點。對于這些開放性要點,考生不能隨意增加細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容,應(yīng)當(dāng)和書信首段的情景描述一樣,遵循簡而精的原則,并立足于本篇書信的目的和內(nèi)容,增加適當(dāng)?shù)摹⒑侠淼募?xì)節(jié),從而達(dá)到行文連貫的目的。第3個要點和第4個要點則屬于非開放性要點,因為“稿件長度”和“交稿日期”都是規(guī)定的內(nèi)容,學(xué)生只需要寫齊這些要點就可以了,增加細(xì)節(jié)反而會畫蛇添足。

本文要點闡述如下:The“Foreign Cultures”section in our newspaper is ery popular among us.It carries articles written by foreign friends about the ultures of their own countries.Would you please write something about the ulture in your part of the United States(要點1)?And we would especially

elcome articles about how Americans spend their holidays and festivals,and he life of American high school students.You can write anything relevant so ong as it's interesting and informative(要點2).Four hundred words would be ine(要點3).Could we have your article before June 28(要點4)?

3.拿捏得體語氣,把握交際原則

雖然應(yīng)用文的寫作語氣因人因事而異,但出于交際需要,遣詞應(yīng)得體,行文應(yīng)具有親和力。高考應(yīng)用文寫作的情景性強(qiáng),我們寫作時要將自己置身于溝通語境中,分析并明確受眾需要什么,然后根據(jù)受眾的特點來組織文字信息。要真正了解和尊重對方,求助和建議一定要在對方可接受和可考慮的范圍。不宜咄咄逼人,把提建議變成下命令;也不宜夸大其詞,把求幫助變成求施舍。

例如,請求“希望工程”相關(guān)部門尋找資助候選人:“Firstly,I wonder if I can offer financial aid to a boy aging 6 to 9,who is getting his primary education.Secondly,would you please tell me the specific information on how to contact the boy and his family?Should I contact them by myself and transfer the money to his family bank account?”求助信中適當(dāng)應(yīng)用“I wonder if...”“Would you please tell me...”“May I...”等表達(dá),顯得禮貌得體,語言生動,地道自然。

再比如,提議保護(hù)北京胡同建筑文化:“I suggest a law should be set up to maintain and protect the cultural heritage.I also propose that a hutong museum be established to exhibit the charm and significance of the culture.I myself,as well as many others,do hope that Beijing hutong remains nothing more than a memory.”建議信中“I suggest...I also propose that...I myself,as well as many others,do hope that...”等表達(dá)使得觀點層層推進(jìn),邏輯嚴(yán)密,結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊,簡明扼要。

四、求助或建議信的素材積累

(一)篇首句

1.求助

(1)我寫信尋求你的幫助。I’m writing to ask/seek for your help.

(2)很抱歉,我不得不請求你的幫助,希望你能幫助我。I’m sorry that I have to ask a favor of you,with the hope that you will be kind to help me.

(3)我冒昧地寫這封信,請求你幫我一個忙。I am writing this letter to ask you to do me a favor.

(4)但不幸的是,我遇到了困難,你是否能幫我解決這些困難?But unluckily/unfortunately,I’m encountering/faced with difficulties while doing...,I wonder if you could help me with these difficulties.

2.建議

(1)很遺憾聽說你在適應(yīng)新學(xué)校方面有困難。這樣的問題是很正常的??赡芟旅娴慕ㄗh會有一些幫助。I’m sorry to hear that you are having trouble fitting in your new school.Such problems are quite normal.Perhaps the following suggestions are helpful.

(2)我給你寫信是想說明一下我對于進(jìn)一步改善我們旅館的一些想法,以吸引更多顧客。I’m writing to you to present what I think on the further improvement of our hotel so as to attract more clients.

(3)你向我咨詢?nèi)绾螌W(xué)習(xí)漢語,那么我就在這里給出一些指導(dǎo)意見。You have asked me for my advice with regard to how to learn Chinese,and I will try to make some conductive suggestions here.

(4)很高興收到你的來信,信上詢問我關(guān)于如何適應(yīng)新的學(xué)校生活。下面是我的一些建議。I’m very glad to receive your letter asking for my advice on how to fit in the new school life.Here are a few suggestions.

(5)擔(dān)心于事無補(bǔ)。Worrying about it won’t solve anything/won’t make it better/won’t do any good to you.

(二)篇中句

1.求助

(1)在這兒我似乎不能與他人融洽相處。I seem not to be able to fit in well with others here.

(2)我覺得沒有完全習(xí)慣這兒的生活。I don’t feel quite accustomed to the life here.

(3)我渴望學(xué)好英語,但我不知道怎么學(xué),這使我很煩惱。I long to study English well,but I don’t know how,which makes me upset.

(4)這些日子我不能專心學(xué)習(xí),上次考試我沒有及格,這使我很著急。I can’t concentrate on my lessons these days,and I failed in the last exam,which worries me a lot.

(5)在這所學(xué)校我經(jīng)常感到受到冷落,我不知道這是怎么回事。I often feel left out in this school,and I don’t know why I have this feeling.

(6)我的英語不好,他們聽不懂我的話。I’m so poor at English that I can’t make myself understood./I can’t get my point across.

(7)我討厭我父母在周末逼我補(bǔ)課。I hate it when my parents force me to take extra lessons on weekends.

2.建議

(1)你來時不妨跟我住在一起。You might as well stay with me while you are here then.

(2)在我看來,在你目前的情況下,找個兼職工作更可取一些。In my humble opinion/From my point of view,it is more advisable to take a part-time job in your situation.

(3)如果我是你,我會嘗試另一種辦法。If I were you,I would try another method.

(4)你最好/最好不……You’d better(not)go and buy an English-Chinese dictionary.

(5)如果你在英語國家找個筆友也是個不錯的主意。It would also be a good idea if you could find a pen friend in English-speaking countries.

(6)在下認(rèn)為,如果你能采取以下措施,將是一種明智的選擇。In my humble view,it would be wise of you to take the following action.

(7)我想,如果你能積極地多參加一些學(xué)?;顒樱赡軙?。It seems to me that it would be more beneficial if you could take an active part in more school activities.

(8)很多高中生幾乎不參加課外活動,這是他們身體差的原因。Nowadays,many senior school students hardly take part in after-class activities,which results in their poor health.

(9)我建議有關(guān)當(dāng)局應(yīng)該制定一項規(guī)定,讓學(xué)生每天運(yùn)動至少一個小時。I suggest the authorities concerned(should)make it a rule for students to spend at least one hour a day on sport.

(10)在你目前的情況下,似乎找個兼職工作會有幫助。It seems that taking a part-time job would make sense in your situation.

(三)篇尾句

1.求助

(1)我真誠地希望得到您的及時答復(fù)。I sincerely hope to get your timely reply.

(2)你給出的建議都是至關(guān)重要的。Any suggestion you give counts.

(3)您對我信件的及時關(guān)注將讓我感激不盡。Your prompt attention to my letter would be highly appreciated.

(4)我相信,我將從你寶貴而及時的建議中受益匪淺。I believe I will benefit a lot from your valuable and timely advice.

2.建議

(1)我希望這些建議/意見/看法對你實用/有用/有幫助。I hope you will find these proposals/suggestions/recommendations practical/useful/helpful.

(2.)請原諒我的冒昧,不過,希望你能三思而后行。I hope you will not find it too straightforward for me to suggest that you think it over before taking action.

(3)我相信你會認(rèn)真考慮我的建議。無論你決定做什么,祝你學(xué)習(xí)/工作好運(yùn)!I believe that you will take my suggestions into serious account.Whatever you decide to do,good luck with your studies/work!

(4)我希望你可以好好考慮我的建議。我準(zhǔn)備好和你進(jìn)一步討論這件事情。I hope you can take good consideration of my advice.I would be ready to discuss about this matter with you to further details.

五、求助或建議信的寫作示范

【優(yōu)秀范文——求助信】假定你是李華,正在一所英國學(xué)校學(xué)習(xí)暑期課程,遇到一些困難,希望得到學(xué)校輔導(dǎo)中心(Learning Center)的幫助。根據(jù)學(xué)校規(guī)定,你需書面預(yù)約,請按下列要點寫一封信:

1.求助內(nèi)容;2.約定時間;3.你的聯(lián)系方式(Email:lihua@1236.com)注意:1.詞數(shù)80左右;

2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。

Dear Sir/Madam at the Learning Center,

I’m Li Hua,a Chinese student taking summer courses in your university.I'm writing to ask for help.

I came here last month and found my courses interesting.But I have some difficulties with note taking and using the library.When told that students can get help from your center,I’m really glad.I have no classes on Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons.Please let me know which time fits you better.You can contact me via my email address:lihua@1236 com.

Anxiously looking forward to your reply.

Yours truly,Li Hua

【優(yōu)秀范文——建議信】假如你是李華,你校的英語版校園網(wǎng)最近在征求改進(jìn)意見。請你給你校的網(wǎng)站負(fù)責(zé)人寫一封建議信,信的內(nèi)容需包括:

1.增加校園生活圖片;2.及時更新新聞;3.增加讀書沙龍(Reading Salon)欄目。

注意:1.詞數(shù)80左右;

2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to offer my suggestions on the improvement of our school’s English web.

As the web is basically intended for the students,it is advisable that more photos about our campus life be provided to make it more appealing and attractive.Additionally,the news should be updated more often to keep us better informed of what’s going on in the world.As we all love reading,a new Reading Salon on this platform will be welcomed so that we can communicate with each other on the books we’ve just read.

I would appreciate it if you could consider my suggestions.

Yours sincerely,Li Hua

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