陳傳光 男,江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)高級(jí)教師,從事教育工作15年;江蘇省教育學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁,獲英語(yǔ)專業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)、班主任基本功大賽市一等獎(jiǎng);有多篇論文在各主流和核心期刊上發(fā)表;指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在各類競(jìng)賽中取得了不錯(cuò)的成績(jī),多人獲得省級(jí)獎(jiǎng)和地市級(jí)獎(jiǎng)。
Ill be a senior high school student after this summer vacation, so my parents and I decided making① this summer vacation a special and memorable one for me.
Because I wanted to do something new, meaningful and challenging, so② I signed up for a summer camp in Beijing. It was my the③ first time to Beijing, but sight-seeing was not the end. In the camp, I studied how to survive in the wild. After the training, I have learned to make a tent, to distinguish edible mushrooms from poisonous ones and so on.
I think this summer vacation is the most meaningful one Ive ever had.
江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)九(1)班 陳瀟瀟
1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn):
本文作者介紹了自己度過的一個(gè)暑假,詳細(xì)描述了在暑假里所做的事情和收獲。整篇文章文字流暢、用詞得當(dāng),是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①making改為to make。decide to do sth.意為“決定做某事”。
②so去掉。Because和so不能同時(shí)出現(xiàn)在一句話中。
③the去掉。序數(shù)詞前如果有形容詞性物主代詞修飾,要省略定冠詞the。
3. 評(píng)分:
按江蘇省連云港市中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分25分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得23分。