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辦公室“過度安靜”是一種病

2020-12-23 04:12
閱讀與作文(英語初中版) 2020年12期
關(guān)鍵詞:響鈴干杯鄧肯

Crystal: Hey Duncan, thx for meeting me here.

Duncan: You know me; Im always up for some after-hours libation.

Crystal: But for me, its less about the drinks and more about the conversations. Being at the bar, you can hear this tumult of social interaction reaching a fever pitch, the polar opposite of how it is up there in the office every day.

Duncan: I believe thats by design, dear Crystal, since this sort of stirring and commotion would make it all but impossible to get any work done.

Crystal: But this isnt my first rodeo. Ive worked at plenty of other companies in my time, and never have I witnessed the kind of chilling stillness and silence that weve got going on at GlobalCorp.

Duncan: I still dont get why its such a problem for you? I mean, most people, including myself, tend to thrive in a quiet environment. Whereas at home, with the wife interrupting me and kids whining and tugging on my clothes, its practically impossible to get through any sort of work related assignment.

Crystal: But our office feels more like were in a vacuum.

Duncan: You mean its sucking our souls away like a giant Hoover?

Crystal: No…Well, yes. But no, thats not what I meant. I meant its more like a black hole or some other soundless environment.

Duncan: And I once again reiterate—why is it a bad thing? I love peace and quiet.

Crystal: Well, theres plenty of quiet. But peace is at a premium.

Duncan: And whats that cryptic proclamation supposed to mean? That you need another drink?

Crystal: No. Well, actually, yes, I would like another. But Im saying that quiet doesnt necessarily lead to peace and/or comfort. Like when the phone rings, do you ever notice peoples behavior at their desks?

Duncan: Not really, cuz Im usually doing this thing that they recommend doing at work all the time, called working…

Crystal: Well, as it so happens, Im a bit of a people watcher and—

Duncan: ①Is that sort of like a bird watcher, or more like a peeping Tom?

Crystal: The former. ②And thanks for that pot shot, but no Im not some voyeur getting off on my colleagues conversations.

Duncan: Alright then. So, what do you observe when the phone rings? Crystal: Almost all the employees suddenly drop their pens and start listening to whats being said.

Duncan: And how is that much different than what youre doing, by dropping your own pen to analyze our colleagues antics?

Crystal: Dont you see? We are all suffering from Pin-drop Syndrome, because its so quiet you could hear a pin drop. And being distracted by even the slightest noise or movement is a major symptom of this little-known illness!

Duncan: So youre saying that what our office actually needs is the occasional interaction between colleagues during work hours, is that it?

Crystal: It couldnt hurt.

Duncan: Then its settled. Ill come over and chat you up tomorrow after lunch. But first, lets finish these and complain about work some more, because its probably better to bad mouth our bosses a safe distance from work.

Crystal: You got it. Cheers!

Duncan: Lchaim.

克里斯特爾:嗨,鄧肯,謝謝你的到來。

鄧肯:你懂我的,我老是等著下班過來喝酒。

克里斯特爾:但是對我來說,這不單純是喝酒,更多的是可以談天說地。待在酒吧里,你可以聽到人們交往時的喧鬧。這種喧鬧達到了一種狂熱的程度,與我們每天上班工作的辦公室的氣氛截然相反。

鄧肯:我相信那是故意的,親愛的克里斯特爾,因為在這種喧嘩與吵鬧下人們不可能完成工作。

克里斯特爾:但我也算是職場老將。我曾經(jīng)在其他很多公司工作過,但從未感受到在跨國公司里的這種令人心寒的沉寂和安靜。

鄧肯:我還是不明白為什么你覺得它是個問題?我的意思是,大部分人,包括我自己,都更傾向于在一個安靜的環(huán)境中努力工作。然而在家,我的妻子會不停地打斷我工作,孩子們哭哭啼啼還拉扯我的衣服,這簡直是不可能完成任何一種要完成的工作。

克里斯特爾:但是我們的辦公室更像是在真空里一樣安靜。

鄧肯:你的意思是它像是一個巨大的胡佛電動吸塵器,把我們的靈魂都吸進去了?

克里斯特爾:不……呃,好吧。但是不,那不是我想表達的意思。我的意思是它更像是一個黑洞或是其他無聲的環(huán)境。

鄧肯:我再重申一下我的問題——為什么它不好?我喜歡平和和安靜的氣氛。

克里斯特爾:嗯,安靜有很多種,然而平和與寧靜很受青睞。

鄧肯:你這種隱晦的宣告有何用意?是你需要再喝一杯的意思嗎?

克里斯特爾:不。好吧,事實上,是的,我還要再來一杯。但是我是說安靜的結(jié)果并不必然讓人感覺平和或者舒服的。就像當電話響鈴時,你可曾留意過人們在辦公桌前的反應(yīng)?

鄧肯:那倒沒有,因為我通常在上班時間一直做這種人們建議我去做的事情,也就是工作……

克里斯特爾:嗯,碰巧,我有點像一位人群看守人和——

鄧肯:是不是有點像是看鳥人,或者更像是偷窺狂?

克里斯特爾:像看鳥人。謝謝你那恣意的批評,但是我不是某個以偷聽同事間聊天為樂的偷窺狂。

鄧肯:那好吧。所以,在電話響鈴時,你觀察到什么?

克里斯特爾:幾乎所有員工突然放下他們手頭工作,開始聽那個人在說些什么。

鄧肯:那跟你現(xiàn)在所做的事情有啥區(qū)別?你不也是放下手頭的工作去分析我們同事古怪滑稽的行為?

克里斯特爾:你還不明白嗎?我們都患有過度安靜綜合征,辦公室安靜得讓人覺得連掉根針都可以聽得見。這種不知名的疾病的主要癥狀就是即便是最微弱的聲音或最細微的動作都會讓人工作分心!

鄧肯:所以你是說我們辦公室真正需要的是工作時同事間偶爾的人際溝通,對嗎?

克里斯特爾:那樣無妨。

鄧肯:那就說定了。明天我會在吃完午飯之后過來找你閑聊。但首先讓我們先喝掉這些,再繼續(xù)吐更多關(guān)于工作的苦水,因為也許離工作場合一段安全的距離后再來說我們老板的壞話會更好。

克里斯特爾:好樣的。干杯!

鄧肯:干杯。

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