本期點(diǎn)評(píng)名師

陳傳光 男，江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)高級(jí)教師，從事教育工作逾15年。江蘇省教育學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員，連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁，曾榮獲英語(yǔ)專(zhuān)業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)，班主任基本功大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)。有多篇論文在各主流和核心期刊上發(fā)表。指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在各類(lèi)競(jìng)賽中取得了優(yōu)異成績(jī)，多人獲得省級(jí)、地市級(jí)獎(jiǎng)。

My Community Centre

My name is Zhu Jinxing. I live with my family in a new community. There are many modern buildings in my community. And we have a community centre likes① a big family.

My family members are all volunteers. My father is a computer engineer. He often helps others check and fix their computers. My mother is an English teacher. She always helps students with their homework. At weekends my brother and I often go to see the old people and do some shopping for them. Our neighbours are nice and helpful. They always say“hello” to us. Love House is our favourite place. We go there when we need help with all kinds of problems.

We love our community centre. We think it is luck② for us to have the community centre. 江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)七（5）班 朱金星

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

本文作者從自己的家庭成員、鄰居、愛(ài)心屋三個(gè)方面詳細(xì)介紹了自己的社區(qū)中心，小作者筆下的社區(qū)中心是個(gè)和諧、溫暖的地方。在文章結(jié)尾處，小作者還表達(dá)了對(duì)社區(qū)中心的愛(ài)，升華了文章主題。整篇文章文字流暢，用詞得當(dāng)，是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①likes改為like。此處like是介詞，意為“像”，不應(yīng)該加s。

②luck改為lucky。be動(dòng)詞后接形容詞。

3. 評(píng)分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語(yǔ)作文滿(mǎn)分25分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得22分。