唐孝云

讀后續(xù)寫是高考備考過(guò)程中的重難點(diǎn)，讀后續(xù)寫要求考生根據(jù)閱讀材料和所給兩個(gè)段落的開頭語(yǔ)進(jìn)行故事續(xù)寫。學(xué)生要想寫出情節(jié)起伏、邏輯合理、結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文，可以圍繞CAF？魪提問(wèn)來(lái)設(shè)計(jì)續(xù)寫情節(jié)。CAFE分別指代：Characters（故事里的主人公，如人或動(dòng)物），Actions（主人公的動(dòng)作行為），F(xiàn)eelings（主人公的感受），Environment（故事發(fā)生時(shí)的環(huán)境）。本文以高考題為例探討如何圍繞CAF？魪提問(wèn)來(lái)設(shè)計(jì)續(xù)寫情節(jié)。

實(shí)例分析（2018年6月浙江卷）

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

It?was?summer，?and?my?dad?wanted?to?treat?me?to?a?vacation?like?never?before.?He?decided?to?take?me?on?a?trip?to?the?Wild?West.

We?took?a?plane?to?Albuquerque，?a?big?city?in?the?state?of?New?Mexico.?We?reached?Albuquerque?in?the?late?afternoon.?Uncle?Paul，?my?dads?friend，?picked?us?up?from?the?airport?and?drove?us?up?to?his?farm?in?Pecos.

His?wife?Tina?cooked?us?a?delicious?dinner?and?we?got?to?know?his?sons?Ryan?and?Kyle.?My?dad?and?I?spent?the?night?in?the?guestroom?of?the?farm?house?listening?to?the?frogs?and?water?rolling?down?the?river?nearby.?Very?early?in?the?morning，?Uncle?Paul?woke?us?up?to?have?breakfast.“The?day?starts?at?dawn?on?my?farm，”he?said.?After?breakfast，?I?went?to?help?Aunt?Tina?feed?the?chickens.?while?my?dad?went?with?Uncle?Paul?to?take?the?sheep?out?to?graze（吃草）.?I?was?impressed?to?see?my?dad?and?Uncle?Paul?riding?horses.?They?looked?really?cool.

In?the?afternoon，?I?asked?Uncle?Paul?if?I?could?take?a?hose?ride，?and?he?said?yes，?as?long?as?my?dad?went?with?me.?I?wasnt?going?to?take?a?horse?ride?by?myself?anyway.?So，?my?dad?and?I?put?on?our?new?cowboy?hats，?got?on?our?horses，?and?headed?slowly?towards?the?mountains.“Dont?be?late?for?supper，”Uncle?Paul?cried，“and?keep?to?the?track?so?that?you?dont?get?lost！”“OK！”my?dad?cried?back.?After?a?while?Uncle?Paul?and?his?farm?house?were?out?of?sight.?It?was?so?peaceful?and?quiet?and?the?colors?of?the?brown?rocks，?the?deep?green?pine?trees，?and?the?late?afternoon?sun?mixed?to?create?a?magic?scene.?It?looked?like?a?beautiful?woven（編織的）blanket?spread?out?upon?the?ground?just?for?us.

注意：

1.?續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為l50左右;

2.?請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph?1：?Suddenly?a?little?rabbit?jumped?out?in?front?of?my?horse.?____________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph?2：?We?had?no?idea?where?we?were?and?it?was?getting?dark.__________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

文章大意：在夏季的某一天，我和爸爸去Uncle?Paul?的農(nóng)場(chǎng)拜訪，外出騎馬時(shí)迷路了。

故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展和主人公心情的變化過(guò)程如下：開始，和父親去Uncle?Paul的農(nóng)場(chǎng)（開心、興奮）→?發(fā)展，和父親去野外騎馬（開心、興奮）→高潮，兔子出現(xiàn)、我們迷路（驚訝、擔(dān)心、害怕）→轉(zhuǎn)折、結(jié)局。

根據(jù)給出的段首句，提出問(wèn)題，完成以下表格，設(shè)計(jì)續(xù)寫情節(jié)。

針對(duì)Paragraph?1：?Suddenly?a?little?rabbit?jumped?out?in?front?of?my?horse提出以下問(wèn)題，并完成以下表格：

（1）How?did?my?horse?react？

（2）What?did?I?do?and?how?did?I?feel？

（3）What?did?my?father?do?and?how?did?my?father?feel？

（4）Where?did?we?go？

針對(duì)Paragraph?2：?We?had?no?idea?where?we?were?and?it?was?getting?dark.的內(nèi)容提出以下問(wèn)題，并完成以下表格：

（1）What?did?I?do?and?how?did?I?feel？

（2）What?did?my?father?do?and?How?did?he?feel？

（3）How?did?we?go?back？

（4）How?did?we?feel?on?the?way?back？

（5）How?about?the?environment?on?the?way?back？

A?possible?version：

Paragraph?1：?Suddenly?a?little?rabbit?jumped?out?in?front?of?my?horse.?As?a?result，?my?horse?was?frightened（馬的心理）and?began?to?run?wildly（馬的動(dòng)作）.?I?held?the?reins（我的動(dòng)作）tightly?immediately?to?control?it?but?failed.?Scared?and?nervous（我的感受），?I?felt?nearly?suffocated（窒息）.?My?dad?saw?what?had?happened?and?shouted?loudly（父親的動(dòng)作），“Dont?worry！Im?with?you！”He?was?worried?about?me（父親的心理）so?he?followed?me?closely（父親的動(dòng)作）.?My?horse?ran?so?fast?that?I?felt?the?wind?blew?past?on?my?face?quickly（環(huán)境描寫）.?Fortunately，?my?horse?calmed?down（馬的心理）and?slowed?down（馬的動(dòng)作）gradually.?As?it?finally?stopped，?I?felt?relieved（我的心理）.?My?dad?caught?up?with?me（父親的動(dòng)作）soon?and?breathed?a?sigh?of?relief（父親的感受）when?he?found?me?safe.?We?both?sat?on?our?horseback?to?have?a?rest（我和父親的動(dòng)作）.?Only?this?moment?did?we?realize?that?we?had?run?a?long?way?and?stopped?on?a?patch?of?open?grass?（環(huán)境描寫）.

Paragraph?2：?We?had?no?idea?where?we?were?and?it?was?getting?dark.?Feeling?nervous?and?frightened（我的心理），?I?asked?my?dad（我的動(dòng)作），“What?should?we?do？”He?patted?me?on?my?shoulder?gently?and?comforted?me?calmly（父親的動(dòng)作），?“Take?it?easy.?We?will?find?our?way?back.”Hearing?his?words，?I?calmed?down（我的心理）and?managed?to（我的動(dòng)作）think?out?a?way?back.?Suddenly，?Uncle?Pauls?words?flashed?across?my?mind.?I?told?my?dad（我的動(dòng)作）that?we?could?follow?our?track?to?go?back?home.?Then?we?started?to?seek?our?track?and?rode?along?it（我和父親的動(dòng)作）slowly?due?to?the?darkness（環(huán)境描寫）.?After?a?long?time，?the?farm?house?was?still?out?of?sight（環(huán)境描寫）.?Being?hungry?and?tired，?we?were?seized?by?depression?（心理描寫）.?At?that?moment，?we?heard?someone?calling?us（我和父親的動(dòng)作）.?It?was?Uncle?Paul?who?came?to?find?us（Uncle?Paul的動(dòng)作）！“We?are?here！”we?yelled?with?great?excitement（我和父親的動(dòng)作和心理）.?Finally，?we?went?home（我和父親的動(dòng)作）together?safe?and?sound.

模擬訓(xùn)練

閱讀下列短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Two?months?before?exams，?my?friends?Tom，?Andy，?Peter?and?I?along?with?my?lovely?dog?Beans，?planned?to?have?a?trip?some?nearby?place，?but?all?of?us?wanted?to?do?some?adventure，?so?we?decided?to?visit?a?thick?forest?in?the?outskirt?of?our?city.?After?our?exams?which?we?finished?in?June?we?all?prepared?to?go?on?an?adventurous?trip?along?with?some?food，?water，?torch?and?most?importantly?our?cell?phone.

But?the?day?was?so?strange.?We?did?not?find?any?vehicle?which?could?drop?us?there.?Anyhow，?we?managed?to?find?a?taxi?which?took?us?to?the?outskirt?of?the?city.?Another?evidence?of?the?strange?sense?of?the?day?was?that?Peter?had?forgotten?his?cell?phone?at?home.?After?we?got?out?of?the?taxi，?some?of?the?passers-by?told?us?the?way?to?forest.?Forest?was?looking?very?beautiful;?voices?of?many?birds，?insects?and?animals?could?be?heard?properly.?As?we?were?moving?forward?we?made?a?mark?on?every?tree?in?our?path，?which?would?remind?us?the?exit?of?the?forest，?and?it?was?firstly?decided?that?we?would?always?keep?our?mobile?in?switch?on?mode?and?contact?each?other?if?we?lost?in?the?forest.

As?we?were?moving?forward?Peter?felt?that?somebody?was?following?our?foot?steps?but?leaving?his?intuition?to?a?joke?we?moved?on.?When?we?reached?in?the?deep?of?the?forest?we?lost?our?way?and?suddenly?the?smog?spread?everywhere?and?we?were?not?able?to?see?each?other?properly.?All?of?us?got?very?scared?of?what?was?happening?around?us.?Suddenly，?we?noticed?that?Andy?was?not?with?us，?then?we?heard?someone?shouting?and?we?thought?it?was?Andy，?so?we?started?searching?for?him?but?due?to?white?smog?we?were?not?able?to?find?him.?Then?I?got?an?idea?to?call?him?and?ask?about?his?position.?I?tried?to?call?him?but?because?of?network?problem?we?were?not?able?to?contact?with?him.?As?the?day?was?strange，?our?torches?were?left?to?no?use?in?such?thick?smog.

注意：?1.?續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為l50左右;

2.?請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph?1：

After?walking?for?2-3?hours，?I?again?tried?to?call?Andy.

_____________________________________________________

Paragraph?2：

An?hour?Later，?Tom?succeeded?in?finding?Andy.

_____________________________________________________

針對(duì)Paragraph?1：?After?walking?for?2-3?hours，?I?again?tried?to?call?Andy.?的內(nèi)容提出以下問(wèn)題，并填寫以下表格：

（1）Did?I?get?through?to?Andy？

（2）If?I?got?through?to?him，?how?did?we?feel？

（3）What?did?Andy?and?I?tell?each?other？

（4）What?did?Peter?and?Tom?do？

（5）How?about?my?dog?Beans？

（6）How?about?the?environment？

針對(duì)Paragraph?2：?An?hour?Later，?Tom?succeeded?in?finding?Andy.的內(nèi)容提出以下問(wèn)題，并填寫以下表格：

（1）How?did?we?feel?when?seeing?Andy？

（2）What?did?Peter，?Dog?Bean?and?I?do？

（3）What?did?we?do?next？

（4）How?about?the?environment？

（5）How?could?we?get?out?of?the?forest？

（6）How?did?we?feel?after?getting?out?of?the?forest？

參考范文

After?walking?for?2-3?hours，?I?again?tried?to?call?Andy.?Luckily，?I?got?through?to?him（我的動(dòng)作）this?time.?At?first，?Andy?and?I?were?both?too?excited（我的心理）to?say?a?word.?Peter?and?Tom?were?also?delighted（Peter和Tom的心理）beyond?description.?After?we?calmed?down（我和Andy的心理），?I?comforted?Andy（我的動(dòng)作）gently.?Though?Andy?sounded?a?little?scared（我的心理），?he?told?me?he?was?fine（Andy的動(dòng)作）.?We?exchanged?our?position?and?discussed?how?we?could?gather?together（我和Andy的動(dòng)作）.?Finally，?we?made?a?decision?that?he?stayed?there?and?Tom?would?go?to?find?him.?Peter?would?stay?with?me?and?dog?Beans（Peter的動(dòng)作）because?he?didnt?have?his?cell?phone.?After?the?call，?Tom?went?to?search?for?Andy（Tom的動(dòng)作）immediately.?It?was?so?strange?that?the?smog?disappeared（環(huán)境描寫）gradually.

An?hour?Later，?Tom?succeeded?in?finding?Andy.?As?soon?as?Peter?and?I?saw?Andy，?we?were?wild?with?joy（我和Peter的心理）.?We?rushed?to?him?and?hugged?together（我和Peter的動(dòng)作）?tightly.?Even?Dog?Beans?wagged?its?tail?happily（Dog?Beans的心理和動(dòng)作）.?Tom?looked?at?us（Tom的動(dòng)作）with?a?big?smile，?saying?it?was?time?to?go?home.?Hearing?his?words，?we?loosened?the?embrace（我、Peter和Andy的動(dòng)作）and?found?that?there?was?no?smog（環(huán)境描寫）at?all.?So?we?could?see?the?beautiful?forest?and?blue?sky?clearly（環(huán)境描寫）.?It?was?really?easy?for?us?to?find?the?marks?on?the?trees?which?we?had?made?on?our?way.?Before?dark，?we?got?out?of?the?forest（我們的動(dòng)作）successfully?by?tracing?those?marks（我們的動(dòng)作）.?Soon，?we?found?a?taxi?to?take?us?home（我們的動(dòng)作）.?Though?the?trip?was?strange?and?frightening（我們的心理），?it?could?definitely?be?called?as?an?adventure，?which?has?greatly?promoted?our?friendship.

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青