My happy junior school life made me grow up and made me know whatfriendship is, what love is and what happiness is.
I still remember one afternoon last winter. Because"a bad cold, I had to beabsent from my classes and was in the hospital于for two weeks. I was so sad andworried about my study that I was in no mood to eat. However, to my surprised,my classmates took turns to come to see me. They cheered me up and helped mewith my study till I came back to school. Under the help of my classmates, Ibecame healthy quickly. More luckily, I didn’t fall behind others in study.
Because of friendship and love, I feel I have been the happiest boy in the pasttwo years. I’m lucky that I have a happy junior school life.
河北省阜城縣第四中學(xué) 劉立海
本期點評名師
張超 男,河北省衡水市阜城縣第四中學(xué)高級英語教師、縣骨干教師、市優(yōu)秀英語教師,從事英語教育教學(xué)工作30 多年;多年來,在省級以上報刊發(fā)表文章數(shù)百篇,并有多篇文章獲獎;曾參與多本教輔資料的編寫工作;曾榮獲“中央教育科學(xué)研究所全國基礎(chǔ)教育科研先進個人”榮譽稱號;曾多次輔導(dǎo)多名學(xué)生在市、省和國家級英語競賽中獲獎。
點評
優(yōu)點:
本文小作者構(gòu)思巧妙,開篇以三個并列從句奪人眼球。多種短語及句型的恰當(dāng)使用,使文章亮點多多。
需要修改的地方:
①Because 改為Because of。because of 是介詞短語,后接名詞、代詞、動名詞等。
②in the hospital 改為in hospital。in the hospital 意為“在醫(yī)院里”,而inhospital 意為“生病住院”。
③surprised 改為surprise。to one’s surprise 是固定搭配,意為“令人驚奇的是”。
④Under 改為With。with the help of sb.是固定短語,意為“在某人的幫助下”。
評分:
按中考英語作文滿分20 分的評分標準,本文修改前可得18 分。