For the activity, I think I find a new friend. His name is Li Yang. He is14 years old. He is tall and thin. He wears glasses. He has short black hair andsmall nose.
He has many hobbies. He likes playing basketball and soccer. He also likesstudying. He is good at math and English. He often help于me with math and tellsme how to study English well. He studies very hard. He often wins the first place inthe exams. He often improves me and helps me, and we are best friends.
河南省鄭州市第六十四中學(xué) 劉逸桐
本期點(diǎn)評名師
王夢瑤 女,華中師范大學(xué)碩士,近年一直擔(dān)任初中英語學(xué)科教師兼班主任。提倡以人為本,一切從學(xué)生出發(fā),一切為了學(xué)生,以把學(xué)生培養(yǎng)成全面發(fā)展的人才為目標(biāo)。在課堂上,多鼓勵(lì)學(xué)生以自己的英語學(xué)習(xí)方式表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)和方法。
點(diǎn)評
優(yōu)點(diǎn):
整篇文章詳細(xì)敘述了Li Yang 的外貌和愛好,全篇雖然用的都是簡單句式,但行文流暢、語法正確、表達(dá)清晰,是一篇值得推薦的學(xué)生習(xí)作。
需要修改的地方:
①small 前應(yīng)該加a。nose 是可數(shù)名詞,前面要加不定冠詞a。
②help 后面加s。主語是第三人稱單數(shù),help 應(yīng)改為helps。
③improves 改為encourages。improve 多用于“自我改善”,用encourage 更準(zhǔn)確。
評分:
按湖北省武漢市中考英語作文滿分15 分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得13 分。