楊艷麗

“Comparison is the death of joy.”

比較是快樂的終結(jié)者。

“When you are content1 to be simply yourself and dont compare or compete， everybody will respect you.” —Mark Twain

“當你愿意做真實的自己，不和他人比較或競爭時，人人都會敬重你?！薄R克·吐溫

You compare cars， houses， shoes， money， social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel2 your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within.

你和他人拼車，拼房，拼鞋子，拼錢，拼社會名氣等等。每天結(jié)束時，當你把自尊踩在腳下，很多負面情緒會隨之而來。

So what can you do？ How can you get a handle on this habit？ Well， today Id like to share 3 steps that have helped me to move away from this：

對此，你能做些什么？如何改掉這個習慣？今天我就和大家分享改掉這個習慣的三個步驟，正是這三個步驟幫助我改掉了這個習慣。

Step 1： Just realize that you cant win if you compare yourself to others.

第一步：要知道拿自己和他人相比，你不會贏。

No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

在這個世界上，不論你做什么，你總能找到比你富有，能力比你強的人。

Yes， you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbor. But a week or two later youll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours.

是的，如果你的車比鄰居的好些，你可能會自我感覺良好一陣子。但是，一周或兩周后，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)相鄰街區(qū)的某個人的車比你的更好。

Step 2： Compare yourself to yourself.

第二步：自己和自己比。

Instead of comparing yourself to other people， create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown， what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals.

不要拿自己和他人相比，相反，要養(yǎng)成自己和自己比的習慣?？匆幌伦约撼砷L了多少，收獲了多少，距離自己的目標又前進了多少。

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude， appreciation3 and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come， the obstacles4 you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

當你看到自己的進步，克服的困難，做過的好事時，這個習慣會幫助你學會感恩，學會欣賞自己，友善地對待自己。這時你就不需要通過輕視他人來讓自己感覺良好。

Step 3： Be kinder towards other people.

第三步：對他人友善。

In my experience， the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big， big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge5 and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more. Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to yourself.

我的經(jīng)驗告訴我，你對他人的行為和看法在很大程度上影響著你對自己的行為和看法。對他人評價批判越多，你就越有可能評價批判自己。對他人越友善，你就對自己越友善。越是幫助他人，你就越會幫助自己。

So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. And appreciate what is positive in yourself and others.

因此，努力幫助他人，對他人友善。欣賞自己和他人身上的積極樂觀的一面。

[1] content adj. 滿意的 [2] pummel vt. 擊；打

[3] appreciation n. 欣賞；感謝 [4] obstacle n. 障礙，干擾

[5] judge vt. 判斷；審判