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幽默小故事

2015-03-11 03:55姜經(jīng)志
中學生英語·閱讀與寫作 2014年11期
關(guān)鍵詞:愛迪生零錢母親節(jié)

姜經(jīng)志

Keep the Change

One sweltering day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could “buy” a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and raced back outside. But when my teenage son at the end of the line finally got his turn to“buy” his ice cream, he gave me two hugs. “Keep the changes,” he said with a smile.

不用找了

有一天天氣悶熱,我將冰淇淋舀進錐筒,告訴我的四個小孩,他們可以從我這里用擁抱“購買”一筒。于是,孩子們馬上排起了隊來購買。較小的三個孩子每人很快的抱了我一下,抓過冰淇淋筒就跑到外面去了。最后輪到排在隊尾十幾歲的大兒子來“買”冰淇淋時,他擁抱了我兩下,“不用找了,”他笑著說。

Sorry, No Change Here

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I had a bill larger

than $20, I wouldnt be eating here.”

對不起,本店不找零錢

我和一個朋友在快餐店排隊訂餐,那里很醒目地寫著“不接受超過20美元的大鈔(請自備零錢)”。

我們前邊的一位女士指著這個牌子對我們說:“你信不信,如果我身上有超過20美元的話,我一定不會在這兒吃飯!”

Watching Television by Candle-light

Teacher: Name some of Thomas Edisons contributions to science.

Student: If werent for him, wed all be watching television by candle-light.

點著蠟燭看電視

老師:“列舉一些托馬斯·愛迪生對科學的貢獻?!?/p>

學生:“如果沒有愛迪生,我們就只能點著蠟燭看電視了?!?/p>

Which is Farther Away?

Teacher: Which is farther away, Australia or the moon?

Bobby: Australia.

Teacher: Why do you say that?

Bobby: We can see the moon, but we cant see Australia.

哪個更遠?

教師:“澳大利亞和月球哪個離我們更遠一些?”

博比:“澳大利亞?!?/p>

教師:“你為什么這么說呢?”

博比:“我們可以看見月球,卻看不見澳大利亞。”

Mothers Day

Boy A: Tomorrow will be Mothers Day. I wonder what I can do to make my mother happy. Boy B: I have decided not to take my school report home tomorrow.

母親節(jié)

男孩甲:“明天是母親節(jié)。我在想能做點什么事讓媽媽高興?!?/p>

男孩乙:“我決定明天不把我的學習成績單帶回家?!?/p>

Doreens Handwriting

Teacher: Doreen, I told you to write out this poem twenty times because your handwriting is so bad, and youve only written it out seventeen times.

Doreen: My arithmetic is had as well, Miss...

多琳的書法

老師:多琳,我讓你把這首詩抄寫二十遍,因為你的字寫得太糟糕了,你卻只寫了十七遍。

多琳:老師,我的算術(shù)也不好……

An Unexpected Answer

Teacher: What do elephants have that no other animals have?

Pupil: Little elephants.

出乎意料的回答

老師:什么東西只有大象才有,其它動物沒有?

學生:小象。

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