廖英
試題呈現(xiàn) 2013與2014年《爸爸去哪兒》的大熱引發(fā)了人們對于親子話題的關注。其中孩子的教育在古今中外都是一個永恒的話題。英語中有句諺語“Spare the rod, spoil your child.”這句話在漢語中的意思是“孩子不打不成器?!闭埦痛苏f法,結合生活中的事例,寫一篇不少于120字的文章,談談你對家庭教育的看法。
審題點撥 此試題將時下流行的話題與學生的生活連接在一起,具有很強的時效性和親近感。對于“孩子不打不成器”這一觀點同學們可贊成亦可反對,只要結合具體的事例加以言之有理的論述即可。在具體行文中,同學們可第一段引入話題并直接闡明自己的觀點,第二段結合事例論證觀點,最后一段總結全文并再次重申自己的觀點。行文中一定要確保觀點明確。
習作一
As the saying goes, “Spare the rod, spoil your child.” Most of parents think it is a privilege to punish child, but it is harmful to childrens health. Family education should be given rice to concern.
When I was a child, I was too active to do something terrible. First of all, my mother often talked with me, but I didnt attach importance to it. Then I made the same mistake again. My father was too angry that he punished me severely. I was very sad and crying for a long time. Then I reduse talking with him and didnt eat food to show my resistance. And my parents apologized to me. Then they thought educating child need to talk more with them rather than punishing.
Now I am outstanding and live happy.
這是一篇中檔習作。其優(yōu)點是:
1. 要點基本齊全,觀點明確,結構清晰。
2. 活學活用了高中階段的一些考綱詞匯,如:privilege, resistance, severely。此外,作者也恰到好處的使用了一些短語,如attach importance to, apologize to sb, be harmful to。
3. 善于運用邏輯銜接詞過渡。如:as the saying goes, first of all, then。
不足之處有:
1. 個別單詞、短語拼寫或表達有誤。如Then I reduse talking with him可改為I was reluctant to talk with him。同樣,should be given rice to concern應改為should be given proper concern。I was too active to do something terrible中too... to...表示“太……而不能……”,應改為I was so active and naughty that I always did something terrible.
2. 個別邏輯詞選用不當。first of all多用在表達觀點而非陳述事情的發(fā)展的順序上,可改成at first。then出現(xiàn)了三次,有重復之嫌,可換成其他遞進詞,如later, gradually, next等,讓表達更富多樣性。
3. 最后一段的內容有待充實??商砑右恍┱Z句以強調父母教育方式改變給自己帶來的重要影響,如Thanks to their shift of education methods and their awareness of the importance of communication, now I am outstanding and live a happy life.
習作二
Most people who reach the peak of their careers are well-educated by parents. The family education is a decisive factor for success, which can help children know the world more appropriately. As for the saying, “Spare the rod, spoil your child.” I do approve of this conventional view to some degree. Strict family education is of great importance to pave the way for a childs growth and success.
When it comes to strict family education, a distinguished musician—Lang Langs story vividly stand out in my memory. His parents being very strict, he just had to practice playing the piano from day to night. Not only could he spare no time for his other hobbies, but also he couldnt get a long rest utterly. After having adjusted to those unbelievable harsh rules, his efforts gradually began to bear fruits. With a chance of performance captured by him, his talent is ultimately recognized. So remarkable is his work that everyone just shows great respect to him. He owes his great achievement to his parents education. Though it might seem to be out of place, it turned out to take effect for him.
Overall, we cant ignore the importance of strict family education. There being twists and turns in life, we must let children know it.
這是一篇高檔習作,屬于正方觀點。其優(yōu)點是:
1. 此文結構清晰,首尾呼應,觀點明確。作者在首段陳述觀點I do approve of this conventional view to some degree.在末段又再次重申觀點:we cant ignore the importance of strict family education.
2. 文章銜接過渡自然,層次分明。恰到好處的銜接讓文章邏輯更為清晰。
3. 此文非常有文采。一方面,文中使用的詞匯非常豐富,另一方面,文中也運用了許多高級句式,句型結構變化多樣,如文中出現(xiàn)了兩個獨立主格結構和部分倒裝。
習作三
It seems that strict education is world-widely accepted, which most parents think is the best approach to keeping their children from bad behavior. As far as Im concerned, only by taking good advantage of sincere love and wise communication can education really works well.
Allowing for my interest and happiness, my mother never forced me to do things that I was not interested in, but encouraged me to engage myself in what I was fond of. It was immediately that she bought me a violin when I said I loved music. There was a time when I tended to give up playing the violin, but my mother cheered me up and told me the importance of sticking to my goal. Rather than scold me severely, she always communicated with me equally, from which I learned something I would never forget.
It is love and respect that play a vitally important role in education. Seldom does punishment teach children how to behave correctly, but can hurt their hearts. So, the education of love is the permanent topic which we should focus more on.
這也是一篇高檔習作,屬于反方觀點。其優(yōu)點是:
1. 文章要點齊全,行文流暢,層次分明。
2. 語言精練、準確,長短句結合,給人抑揚頓挫之美感。此外,在句式上,作者善用了一些固定句式,使文章顯得“高級”。
3. 作者善于強調句和倒裝句強調自己觀點。如第一段的倒裝句only by taking good advantage of sincere love and wise communication can education really works well. 和第二段的強調句It was immediately that she bought me a violin when I said I loved music.