文/唐老雅
雅思寫作題材解析及習(xí)作修改(九)
——文化類
文/唐老雅1
“文化類”題材在雅思考試中屬于中危話題,平均每年出現(xiàn)3—5次??键c(diǎn)及分布如下:
1.網(wǎng)絡(luò)對(duì)傳統(tǒng)文化的沖擊,包括:(1)人們能從網(wǎng)上獲取信息,因此是否不需要博物館了?(2)是否可以通過書籍、電影和網(wǎng)絡(luò)而不需旅游去了解其他文化?
2.旅游和傳統(tǒng)文化,包括:(1)很多當(dāng)?shù)厝瞬幌矚g當(dāng)?shù)氐穆糜尉包c(diǎn)和博物館,為什么?可以采取哪些措施吸引他們?(2)旅行者如何學(xué)習(xí)其他文化和傳統(tǒng),為什么有些旅行者對(duì)這些文化和傳統(tǒng)沒有興趣?
3.對(duì)文化的不同看法,包括:(1)對(duì)某些文化重視老年人,某些文化重視年輕人的看法;(2)越來越多不同文化和民族的人共同生活的原因及其利弊;(3)傳統(tǒng)文化是否有必要保存?
4.對(duì)語(yǔ)言的看法:使用比較少的語(yǔ)言是否應(yīng)該拋棄?
1. The customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant in the modern world. So they are not worth keeping any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(2016/09/10)
2. Multicultural societies, where people of different ethnic groups live together, can bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(2016/04/02)
3. Differences between countries are becoming less evident recently. People can see the same films, brands, fashion, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do disadvantages outweigh advantages?(2016/01/09)
4. Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, but other people believe that it is the only way to save such conditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinions.(2015/12/19)
5. Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract local people?(2015/02/07)
對(duì)于“文化類”話題,以下觀點(diǎn)可以借鑒:(1)傳統(tǒng)文化需要保存(preserve),因?yàn)閭鹘y(tǒng)文化中包含了一個(gè)民族的歷史;(2)文化往往需要身臨其境才能真正理解;(3)多元文化共存可以相互學(xué)習(xí),消除偏見(remove prejudices),使世界更加和諧(more harmonious);(4)文化更多作用于一個(gè)人的精神世界,不能全部以實(shí)用性來衡量;(5)應(yīng)該保護(hù)語(yǔ)言多樣性,因?yàn)橐环N語(yǔ)言消失,意味著一種文化消失。
題目
Some people believe governments should spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
學(xué)生習(xí)作
During the long human history, more than 5,500 kinds of languages have been born. Of those some are extensively used, such as English, Chinese and Spanish. While some only have few speakers. Then a question rises that if government need spend money in protecting these minority languages from extinction. There are people who consider it necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, government should definitely take measures to save languages.
Not only for communication, languages carries human culture as well. It is an important channel for discovering a nation’s history and promoting culture dissemination. Therefore, protecting languages is approximately equal to protecting culture heritage. If we indulge a language gradually fading away, a part of culture will lose its inheritance and scholars will also lose valuable research materials. It is enormous losses for all humanity. In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. However,it doesn’t mean that cultural development can be easily neglected. On the contrary,culture is what runs a long course from a remote source. Protecting languages also shows respect to those minorities friends. Everyone has responsibility to inherit human’s previous treasures as possible as we could.
Generally speaking, governments should indeed spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out. A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.
評(píng)分:5
老雅評(píng)改
據(jù)說,現(xiàn)在世界上每天都有數(shù)十種語(yǔ)言在消失,有人就說,政府應(yīng)該想辦法保護(hù)這些語(yǔ)言,雖然講這種語(yǔ)言的人非常少,但其他人則說,保護(hù)這些語(yǔ)言沒有用,完全是浪費(fèi)人力和物力。好了,看來雙方都有道理!保護(hù)這些語(yǔ)言,因?yàn)檎Z(yǔ)言背后是文化,一旦語(yǔ)言消失,它背后的文化也就消失了,而這個(gè)世界需要多元文化;不保護(hù)這些語(yǔ)言,因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在都是地球村了,大家說同樣的語(yǔ)言更容易溝通,因此應(yīng)該讓小語(yǔ)言(languages spoken by very few people)按照市場(chǎng)規(guī)律自生自滅。老雅覺得,我們應(yīng)該采取的態(tài)度是,推行全球通用語(yǔ)言,但也要適當(dāng)保護(hù)那些有豐富文化內(nèi)涵的小語(yǔ)言。
習(xí)作采取一邊倒論證方式,即認(rèn)為政府應(yīng)該保護(hù)小語(yǔ)言,提出兩個(gè)理由:一、保護(hù)語(yǔ)言就是保護(hù)文化;二、保護(hù)語(yǔ)言是對(duì)少數(shù)民族的尊重。但習(xí)作的語(yǔ)言(尤其是后半部分)質(zhì)量比較低,錯(cuò)誤很多,不少地方讓人難以理解。同時(shí),習(xí)作將兩個(gè)理由放在同一段落的做法也不值得提倡,因?yàn)檫@樣會(huì)使第2段過長(zhǎng),使整個(gè)文章結(jié)構(gòu)失去平衡。
第1段
During the long human history, more than 5,500 kinds of languages have been born. Of those some are extensively used, such as English, Chinese and Spanish. While some only have few speakers. Then a question rises that if government need spend money in protecting these minority languages from extinction. There are people who consider it necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, government should definitely take measures to save languages.
[修改] Of the more than 5,500 languages in use now, some are used by a huge number of people, like English and Chinese, while some others only have very few speakers. Then the question arises whether governments should spend money protecting these minority languages from extinction. Some people consider it very necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion,governments should definitely take measures to save languages.
[評(píng)析] 本段開頭段,引入話題后,重述題目觀點(diǎn),然后明確給出自己的觀點(diǎn)。本段無論從語(yǔ)言還是內(nèi)容都達(dá)到了7分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。(1)... while some only have few speakers. 這里,while引導(dǎo)的只能是表示轉(zhuǎn)折的從句,不能單獨(dú)成句。(2)... a question rises ...這里,rises是誤用,應(yīng)該用arises。
第2段
Not only for communication, languages carries human culture as well.It is an important channel for discovering a nation’s history and promoting culture dissemination. Therefore, protecting languages is approximately equal to protecting culture heritage. If we indulge a language gradually fading away, a part of culture will lose its inheritance and scholars will also lose valuable research materials. It is enormous losses for all humanity. In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. However, it doesn’t mean that cultural development can be easily neglected. On the contrary, culture is what runs a long course from a remote source. Protecting languages also shows respect to those minorities friends.Everyone has responsibility to inherit human’s previous treasures as possible as we could.
[修改] As is known to us all, a language is not just for daily communication, but carries a human culture as well. It is an important tool of recording a nation’s history and spreading its culture. Therefore, protecting a language is protecting its cultural heritage. If we just let a language gradually fade away without doing anything, a culture is dying with it forever and then we can never get it back however hard the scholars work. This is, no doubt an enormous loss for all humanity.
Admittedly, the government financial budget ought to be carefully planned,because it has so many things to take care of, and the top priority is always given to economic growth. But this does not mean that culture can be neglected. As a matter of fact, the more a country respects its cultural diversity, the happier and more united its people are. In this sense, protecting the minority languages is also conducive to the economic development of the country.
[評(píng)析] 本段分析贊同保護(hù)語(yǔ)言的兩個(gè)理由。老雅將本段拆分為兩段,每段集中討論一個(gè)理由。習(xí)作的主要問題是思路不清,語(yǔ)言表達(dá)也不準(zhǔn)確,甚至有讀不懂的地方。(1)... if we indulge a language gradually fading away... 這里的indulge是“容忍”“縱容”的意思嗎?正確的應(yīng)該是... if we let a language gradually fade away ...。(2)In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction.這兩句與前文的邏輯聯(lián)系何在?in addition to that...表示遞進(jìn)關(guān)系。in modern society, economic construction是典型的破碎句,缺動(dòng)詞謂語(yǔ)。
第3段
Generally speaking, governments should indeed spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out. A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.
[修改] To sum up, governments should indeed spend money saving those languages of few speakers from dying out because by protecting these languages, the governments are not just protecting the culture, but also promoting the national unity and harmony.A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.
[評(píng)析] 本段是結(jié)尾,應(yīng)該用具體的詞匯對(duì)前面討論的觀點(diǎn)加以總結(jié),習(xí)作結(jié)尾沒有總結(jié)出前面討論的兩個(gè)原因。generally speaking表示“總體而言”,但這里需要一個(gè)表示總結(jié)的詞匯,因此改為to sum up。
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1 唐偉勝,廣東外語(yǔ)外貿(mào)大學(xué)教授,博士,英美文學(xué)研究專家。