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雅思寫作如何舉例?

2017-02-08 23:37唐老雅
英語(yǔ)世界 2017年9期
關(guān)鍵詞:連接詞雅思有形

文/唐老雅

雅思作文經(jīng)常需要舉例,一是字?jǐn)?shù)的需要,二是論證的需要,三是讓作文顯得生動(dòng)活潑的需要。因此,幾乎所有雅思作文都需要舉例。那么,雅思寫作到底該如何舉例呢?

首要問(wèn)題就是:舉什么作為例子?其實(shí),例子很多,包括名人經(jīng)歷、個(gè)人經(jīng)歷、同學(xué)朋友經(jīng)歷、小說(shuō)里讀到的、電影里看到的、報(bào)紙上刊登的……,都可以作為例子來(lái)證明你的觀點(diǎn)!但是,老雅認(rèn)為,對(duì)多數(shù)烤鴨來(lái)說(shuō),首先考慮的應(yīng)該是寫個(gè)人經(jīng)歷或周圍熟悉的人或物,因?yàn)槭煜ぃ钥梢越档头稿e(cuò)的機(jī)率。

接下來(lái)的問(wèn)題是:怎么舉例?老雅區(qū)分兩類:有形的舉例和無(wú)形的舉例。有形的舉例就是用一些for instance、for example、a case in point is這樣的連接詞來(lái)舉例,通常顯得生硬,但很明晰;無(wú)形的舉例就是把例子自然地融入到上下文中,雖然沒(méi)有連接詞,卻勝似有連接詞,這樣的舉例就像武功高手,收放自如,舉重若輕,卻顯得優(yōu)雅、有格調(diào)。老雅先講講有形的舉例供6分段同學(xué)參考,然后再總結(jié)高分段的舉例策略。

有形的舉例

常用連接詞

1) Take … for example 以……為例

2) To see this more clearly, let’s take…as an illustration. 為看得更清楚,我們舉……為證。

3) A (good) case in point is… 一個(gè)(恰當(dāng)?shù)模├邮恰?/p>

4) Perhaps the most well-known/important/convincing/interesting example is… 也許最為人所知/重要/有說(shuō)服力/有趣的例子是……

5) …is frequently quoted/cited/taken as an illustration of… 人們經(jīng)常舉……來(lái)證明……

6) There is abundant evidence to support… 有足夠的證據(jù)支持……

7) The latest survey/studies conducted by ... indicates/reveals/shows/ that...最近由……進(jìn)行的調(diào)查/研究表明……

典型段落1

Hard work is more important than the innate talent. For example, my friend John is a great piano player though he is not really gifted, because he practices playing piano almost every day.

分析:努力工作比天分更重要。怎么來(lái)說(shuō)明這個(gè)道理?最好的辦法就是舉例。舉什么?舉我的朋友約翰。雖然他天分不怎么樣,但他依然彈得好,因?yàn)樗焯炀毩?xí)。這個(gè)例子很直接地說(shuō)明了努力比天分更重要。

典型段落2

One benefit machines have brought to us is that it saves us huge amount of time. In the case of making a pair of shoes, almost 70% of manufacturing time could be reduced if it were mass-produced according to some research fi ndings.

機(jī)器帶給我們的好處之一是節(jié)約我們的時(shí)間。怎么說(shuō)明這個(gè)道理?仍然是舉例。大規(guī)模批量生產(chǎn)鞋子,可以節(jié)約70%的生產(chǎn)時(shí)間。這個(gè)例子也很有力地說(shuō)明了論點(diǎn)。

有形的舉例比較容易,老雅在創(chuàng)作真題范文時(shí),也曾多次應(yīng)用到這個(gè)策略。請(qǐng)看:

1. More significantly, living with people of different ethnic groups will enable us to become more understanding and tolerant, which is, of course, very important to a peaceful world. In my neighborhood, for example, there are people from China, India and Africa. During Chinese New Year Holidays, we invite our Indian and African friends to our house and show them how Chinese people spend their Spring Festival. Our Indian neighbors teach us how to play cricket,which is their national sports and African friends show us the beautiful dances particular to their culture. In this way, we share what we have and learn what we do not, and our neighborhood is always happy and full of joy. (“唐老雅英語(yǔ)寫作工作室”公眾號(hào),2016年4月4日)

2. On the one hand, many people hold the opinion that healthcare should be free. They argue that, if the healthcare is free, people will not have to worry about the expensive healthcare expenses. This is particularly important for those economically under-privileged. With free healthcare, they can go to hospital whenever they find there is anything wrong with their health without worrying about money. This will, of course, enhance their sense of well-being and the entire society will become much more harmonious. My uncle is a good example.He developed T.B. when he was at his 50s. He would be dead now but for the free healthcare policy practiced in the region where he lives. Now he and his family are very much grateful to the local government and would do everything for it.(“唐老雅英語(yǔ)寫作工作室”公眾號(hào),2016年3月20日)

舉例高分策略

老雅在多年雅思寫作教學(xué)中,總結(jié)出了以下舉例的高分策略:

策略1:高度濃縮,直指需要論證問(wèn)題的核心。

策略2:多為復(fù)雜句,包含比較豐富、具體的內(nèi)容。

策略3:一般用1句,也可用“1短句 +1長(zhǎng)句”的組合。

典型段落1

Some students use websites which offer ready-made assignments. This is not a good idea, even if you ignore the fact that it is cheating, because such websites may contain factual errors or biased views. In a recent case, a student found herself in serious trouble when she submitted an essay from one of these sites only to discover that it was about Austria, not Australia, but had an error in the title.(來(lái)源:雅思官方9分范文)

這里需要論證網(wǎng)絡(luò)上獲取的信息可能不準(zhǔn)確。怎么論證?舉例。怎么舉例?一位同學(xué)惹上了麻煩,為什么呢?因?yàn)樗龔木W(wǎng)站上弄了一篇文章,然后提交給了老師,卻發(fā)現(xiàn),這文章標(biāo)題弄錯(cuò)了,不是澳大利亞,而是奧地利。看!這個(gè)例子中內(nèi)容多么豐富,多么具體。原文用in a recent case (=for example)引導(dǎo)出一個(gè)長(zhǎng)例子。如果我們這樣來(lái)寫這個(gè)例子,各位看看差距在哪里?

For example, a student got an essay from one website and then submitted it to the professor. Then she discovered that it had an error in the title. It was about Austria, not Australia. The student found herself in serious trouble.

信息與原文完全一致,但這里眾多分散的短句給人的感覺(jué)就不是在舉例來(lái)說(shuō)明前面的論點(diǎn),而是在講述這個(gè)例子本身了。

典型段落2

Sometimes the most talented person can make for(走向;成為)one of the most ineffective managers. You can see this in sports, for example, where retired superstars often find it difficult to coach or manage successfully because they are now supervising lesser mortals that weren’t blessed with the same degree of innate talent. (BBC, May 28, 2014)

這里要論證的是:最有才華的人可能成為最糟糕的經(jīng)理。舉運(yùn)動(dòng)員為例:那些退役的超級(jí)球星往往很難成功地經(jīng)營(yíng)管理,因?yàn)樗麄儸F(xiàn)在管理的這些人的天賦遠(yuǎn)不及他們。

好,我們來(lái)模仿一下:

Sometimes young people can do a better job than their older counterparts in leading a team forward. You can see this in IT sector, for example, where the old people often find it impossible to head a team because their past experience and expertise fall out too soon to be useful any more.

這里要論證,年輕人比老年人更適合當(dāng)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)。舉IT業(yè)為例:老年人的經(jīng)驗(yàn)在IT業(yè)中很快就過(guò)時(shí)無(wú)用了,因此很難領(lǐng)導(dǎo)一個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)。

典型段落3

We need an authoritative voice telling people to take breaks in your days, to slow down. I remember I met once with a young person, 21 years old, who said every time she tried to study or focus she would find herself staring at the clouds and trees. Later I found she did not have any disorder; what she really needed was nothing else but a break. (Chicago Tribune, August 18, 2015)

這里需要論證的是:人們需要休息,需要慢下來(lái)。用個(gè)人經(jīng)歷來(lái)論證。有次遇到一個(gè)21歲的年輕人,她說(shuō)自己工作的時(shí)候就眼冒金星。后來(lái)我發(fā)現(xiàn)她沒(méi)有病,她需要的就是休息。這樣的舉例純粹就是耍流氓,管它有無(wú)其事,你只需要若無(wú)其事地編得真有其事即可(隨帶添點(diǎn)細(xì)節(jié),比如這里特別注明了年齡,讀起來(lái)就好像真有那么回事,其實(shí)都可能是亂編的?。?。

學(xué)生習(xí)作及修改

The situation would be better if people really tried their best to save the creature. Panda is a good example. Panda is a typical endangered animal which only lives in China. The number of Panda used to be less than 200. Nevertheless,the lovely appearance of panda attract the world’s attention. It is favoured by people all over the world. Finally, though it is still endangered, the number of panda grows to 1000. According to these, it is obvious that the situation can be changed.

這里的論點(diǎn)是:如果我們盡力挽救動(dòng)物,動(dòng)物滅絕的情形就會(huì)改變。怎么論證?該同學(xué)舉了熊貓的例子。她的思路是這樣的:熊貓是一種瀕危動(dòng)物,只有中國(guó)才有。熊貓以前的數(shù)量不足200。然而,熊貓的可愛(ài)模樣吸引了世界的注意力。全世界的人都喜歡熊貓。最后,雖然還是瀕危動(dòng)物,但其數(shù)量增長(zhǎng)到了1000。這就說(shuō)明,情形顯然是可以改變的。這個(gè)舉例內(nèi)容很合適,完全說(shuō)明了觀點(diǎn),舉例的語(yǔ)言大體也清楚,這樣的作文可得6分,若要更上一層樓,必須改進(jìn),按照老雅剛才的高分舉例標(biāo)準(zhǔn)進(jìn)行改造:最多兩句話,重點(diǎn)內(nèi)容用主句,細(xì)節(jié)用從句。老雅這樣改寫:

The situation would be better if people really tried their best to save the creature. Panda is a good example. As an endangered species found only in China,the Panda has grown in number from 200 a decade ago to 1000 today, thanks to the protection from people all over the world attracted by their lovely appearance. □

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