文/唐老雅

如何在雅思寫作中克服模板？

文/唐老雅1

不知從什么時候開始，中國的雅思寫作培訓(xùn)變成了模板培訓(xùn)，很多“雅思名師”嘔心瀝血，總結(jié)出了寫作的所謂“萬能模板”，并在教學(xué)中讓學(xué)生按照模板，依葫蘆畫瓢，其結(jié)果是學(xué)生在寫作過程中千篇一律，篇篇似曾相識。然而，模板寫作的最嚴(yán)重后果還不止于此，它讓學(xué)生思維僵化，大量使用模板又讓作文空洞無物。這樣的作文面目可憎，讀起來味同嚼蠟，即使句句都寫正確了，但得分很難上5分。因此，很多同學(xué)如果按照自己的水平去寫，本可以得6分，但他若不自信，使用培訓(xùn)老師的萬能模板，得分卻反而降至5分，翻來覆去也想不明白：原來，雅思寫作過多使用模板，會被考官壓分至死的！

那么，怎么辦？怎樣才能在寫作中消滅模板，讓作文具有一定程度的個性化特征呢？老雅認(rèn)為，消滅模板的辦法有兩個：一是讓作文內(nèi)容具體化和細(xì)節(jié)化，二是在語言表達(dá)時注意靈活性，兩者的完美結(jié)合就會幫助考生擺脫模板，進(jìn)行真正的思想表達(dá)。

一、內(nèi)容的具體化和細(xì)節(jié)化

雅思作文開頭，通常都需要對題目進(jìn)行重新表述。模板式開頭往往要求學(xué)生套用某些句型，比如“今天，……問題已經(jīng)引起了大眾的熱烈討論”，或者“當(dāng)我們談及……問題時，有些人認(rèn)為……，而另外一些人認(rèn)為……”。從某種意義上看，這樣的模板的確是萬能的，但萬能就意味著失去個性。解決辦法是：在重述題目的時候，對題目的關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行具體化和細(xì)節(jié)化處理，從而使作文的開頭帶上明顯的個性化特征。

比如，2017年3月25日雅思考試作文問：在當(dāng)今社會，學(xué)生們獲取信息的途徑很多，這是不是意味著老師沒有用處了？對于這個題目，如果使用模板，就可以這樣開頭：When it comes to the role teachers play in modern education, some people think that they are useless because students can obtain information from many sources, while others think teachers are still very useful...，雖然這樣的開頭并沒有大的錯誤，但內(nèi)容顯得過于拘謹(jǐn)，難以給考官留下好的印象。我們完全可以通過對題目關(guān)鍵概念進(jìn)行細(xì)節(jié)化，使文章開頭顯得更為生動。請看：

Nowadays it is not uncommon to see a teacher lecturing laboriously with some students fi xing their eyes on their laptop screen or smartphone and others sleeping. The reasons for this pathetic situation are varied, one important being that, with more sources of information at hand, students do not have to rely on their teachers as much as before for things they want to know. While this is certainly true in a sense, I still hold that the teacher does have a role to play in modern education. 【原載2017年3月26日“唐老雅英語寫作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

在這里，老雅通過描寫一個具體場景（老師辛苦講課，但一些學(xué)生卻在看手機(jī)，還有學(xué)生在睡覺）來引出文章需要討論的話題，即老師到底還有沒有用處？與模板相比，老雅的范文明顯更生動、更特別。

再如，2017年2月18日的雅思考試作文：科技有時候讓我們的生活變復(fù)雜了，為了讓我們的生活簡單一些，我們是否應(yīng)該拒絕科技？如果使用“萬能模板”開頭法，大致就是：Nowadays, whether we should embrace high technology has become a heated topic among people. Some think..., while others think...。同樣，這個開頭也不能算錯誤，但顯得很死板，缺乏靈活性。如果我們描寫一下科技如何讓我們的生活變復(fù)雜了，作文的開頭馬上就生動起來：

Technology is not always an angel, rather, in some cases, it may turn out to be a devil making our life rather miserable and complicated. Indeed, besides having to take trouble to learn to use the technology, who has not at least once cursed the technology when he fl ips open his computer for some important data only to fi nd that the computer breaks down or when he is eager to fl y to a city for a life-anddeath business negotiation only to be told that his fl ight is canceled?【原載2017年2月19日“唐老雅英語寫作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

在這里，老雅范文列舉兩個實際生活中的具體例子來重述題目中的關(guān)鍵概念，即高科技讓我們的生活變得復(fù)雜了。與模板式開頭相比，老雅范文的優(yōu)勢一目了然。

在論證觀點的過程中，舉例往往是克服模板、實現(xiàn)個性化寫作的一種有效辦法。舉例的時候，我們應(yīng)盡量提供具體的相關(guān)細(xì)節(jié)，這樣文章顯得既可信，又有生動性。

比如，To be sure, ambition is like the force driving people to move on toward their goals. With certain ambition in mind, people will set about making plans, taking actions and then will persist when they encounter difficulties. My friend John is a perfect example. Ten years ago, when I fi rst got to know him, he told me he dreamed of becoming the best photographer in this country. Then he began to travel to all places in China, no matter how dangerous and remote they are and just last month he published his first photography book which contains a lot of fantastic pictures he took. 【原載2017年2月15日“唐老雅英語寫作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

本段旨在論證“有志向的人會堅持”這樣一個論點。在舉例中，老雅范文寫出了以下細(xì)節(jié)：（1）具體名字（John），（2）具體時間（ten years ago/ last month），（3）具體事情（become the best photographer in this country/ travelled to all places in China/published his fi rst photography book）。這樣的例證就顯得既具體，也有說服力。

再如，However, it does not follow that university students must con fi ne themselves to the library and the classroom. Quite the opposite, they ought to engage in as many extracurricular activities as possible, for if the academic study makes them prepared intellectually, these club activities may be helpful to their future career in many different ways. For example, sports make them physically stronger, boat racing makes them more cooperative, writing makes them more expressive, and camping makes them more persistent. Even those more leisurely activities such as guitar playing or singing can relieve the students of their heavy load of academic work and make them more resilient to physical and emotional stresses in life. 【原載2017年8月29日“唐老雅英語寫作工作室”（ieltswriting4u)】

本段需要論證“大學(xué)生應(yīng)該盡量多地參加課外活動”，老雅舉出了很多具體例子證明各種課外活動對學(xué)生的好處，包括運動、劃船、寫作、露營、彈吉他、唱歌等。這樣的例子是任何模板寫作模式都無法企及的，其豐富性和獨特性給作文增色不少。

二、語言表達(dá)的靈活性

英語寫作中，語言表達(dá)的靈活性主要體現(xiàn)在用詞的靈活性和句法的靈活性。用詞方面，要避免無謂的重復(fù)，同時建議盡量使用短語詞組；句法方面，要避免過度使用同一句型，還要注意句型的多樣性。與此相對照，模板作文的語言表達(dá)則不可能體現(xiàn)出靈活性。

劍橋雅思第10版Test 3的作文問：當(dāng)今人們都在購買和使用同樣的產(chǎn)品，國家之間就趨同了，這種現(xiàn)象是好還是壞？我們來分析該書為本題給出的滿分作文中的如下句子：

（1）The spread of multinational products can often bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as people turn to buying the new brand, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are used to.

比較：The spread of multinational products can often make people lose their job, because people will buy the new brand, for they think it is more fashionable than the local brand. （7分）

再比較：More and more multinational products can often let people without job, because people will buy the new brand, they think the new brand is better than the old brand. （5—6分）

原文一口氣使用了三個詞組，包括in its wake（緊隨其后），a loss of job（失去工作），be used to（習(xí)慣……），同時使用了as引導(dǎo)的原因狀語，thinking非謂語動詞引導(dǎo)的分詞短語（也表示原因）。如果將...bring in its wake a loss of jobs改為...make people lose their job, 將as改為because，將thinking改為for they think，雖然意思完全沒變，但是語言的靈活性則失去了一大半。

（2）Some may argue that all people are entitled to have access to the same products, but I say that local objects suit local conditions best, and that faceless uniformity worldwide is an unwelcome and dreary prospect.

比較：Some people may say/claim that all people should be allowed to use the same products, but I say that local objects are better, and that it is not a very good picture to see the world has the same face.（6—7分)

再比較：Some people may say that we all should use the same products, but I think the local things are better, I don’t like to see the world has the same face.（5分)

原文使用了be entitled to...（有權(quán)利做……）和have access to... (可以使用……）兩個詞組，同時在I say后面接了兩個that從句。如果將all people are entitled to have access to the same products改為all people should be allowed to use the same products，表達(dá)上就大為遜色了。

（3）To see the same products in shops the world over is boring, and does not impel visitors to open their wallets in the same way that trinkets or souvenirs unique to the particular area do.

比較：It is boring if we see the same products in shops everywhere in the world, and we will not buy them, but when we see the local products, we may open our wallets. （6分）

再比較：It is boring to see the same products everywhere in the world, you won’t buy them, but when we see the local things, we may buy it. （5分）

原文使用了to do ... is boring這個句型，同時用比較句型很緊湊地比較兩件不同事物引起的結(jié)果。比較文的句型顯得十分松散，沒有顯示出對句型使用的控制力。 □

1 唐偉勝，廣東外語外貿(mào)大學(xué)教授，博士，英美文學(xué)研究專家。

[與老雅繼續(xù)交流，請加微信公眾號ieltswriting4u]

書訊

《英語經(jīng)典散文翻譯與賞析》劉士聰 選譯谷啟楠 審譯

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