浙江

（作者單位：浙江省華維外國語學(xué)校）

浙江省新高考英語試卷的最大亮點是出現(xiàn)了兩種不同類型的書面表達(dá)，即概要寫作和讀后續(xù)寫。不同于常規(guī)說明文體或議論文體的概要寫作，讀后續(xù)寫往往以記敘文為主，通過講述一個完整的小故事來展現(xiàn)包含正能量的大道理。要求考生在中心大意的一致性、寫作手法的多樣性以及語言知識的準(zhǔn)確性、高級性三方面做到完美有機的統(tǒng)一，從而體現(xiàn)考生的中心捕捉能力、內(nèi)容呈現(xiàn)能力和語言表達(dá)能力。筆者著力在新讀寫教育視角下從解題困難分析和應(yīng)對策略探究兩個角度入手破解2017年11月浙江省高考英語讀后續(xù)寫這一題型，希望能夠起到拋磚引玉的作用，引起大家的共同思考。

一、讀后續(xù)寫題型解題困難分析

出乎大多數(shù)英語教師的普遍意料，2017年浙江省高考英語試題沒有出現(xiàn)概要寫作這一新的題型，采用了一篇與2016年10月份和2017年6月份一樣的讀后續(xù)寫的作文題，究其原因，筆者認(rèn)為主要是照顧到整張試卷的體裁平衡，在閱讀理解B篇（衣服對人的表現(xiàn)的影響）、C篇（循環(huán)經(jīng)濟的好處）、D篇（記憶閱讀內(nèi)容的方法）、語法填空（提高詞匯量的方法）、應(yīng)用文寫作（邀請外籍教師共度春節(jié)）共計已有五篇說明應(yīng)用文體裁的文本后，再出現(xiàn)一篇說明類體裁的概要寫作就會完全碾壓閱讀理解A篇（人與人之間的關(guān)愛）和完形填空（英語老師的勇敢）兩篇記敘類體裁了，那就不符合新高考改革下對學(xué)生各種思維的全面考查，所以在這個背景之下出現(xiàn)了以下一篇讀后續(xù)寫的作文：

閱讀下面短文, 根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫, 使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

A vacation with my mother

I had an interesting childhood：It was filled with surprises and amusements, all because of my mother—loving,sweet, yet absent-minded and forgetful.One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.

My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way.As the first day of our trip approached, David, my eight-year-old brother, and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends.Who knew if we’d ever see them again? Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books，games,camping equipment, and a tent into the car and bravely drove off.We bravely drove off again two hours later after we’d returned home to get the purse and traveler’s checks Mom had forgotten.

David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dad slept :“You stand outside the door and play lookout（放哨） while I go, and I’ll stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.”I had terrible pictures in my mind:“Honey, where are the kids?”“What?! Oh，Gosh...I thought they were being awfully quiet.”We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chances.

On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy.After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there?David and I became nervous.To our great relief, Dad turned down the idea.Mom never could understand our objections.If a strange family showed up on her front doorstep, Mom would have been delighted.She thinks everyone in the world is as nice as she is.We finally found a vacancy in the next town.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。

Para.1

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.

Para.2

We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.

在分析本篇文章時，學(xué)生們存在的最大困難是審題上的困難，即無法理解整篇文章的脈絡(luò)體系，不知道文章的主題所在，被文章曲曲折折的表達(dá)內(nèi)容所迷惑，在形成自己的思路時只能東拼西湊，不能夠突出重點。相比2016年10月份讀后續(xù)寫篇章（夫妻走散重聚）和2017年6月份讀后續(xù)寫篇章（老師遇險獲救）比較單向性的寫作思路，今年這篇讀后續(xù)寫具有兩維因素，給考生審題和寫作增加了不少困難，因為它既要求考生寫到媽媽的不完美（carelessness），又要重點突出媽媽對我們的愛（love），兩者缺一不可，而且要有主次，這對于絕大多數(shù)考生來說是不小的挑戰(zhàn)。

第二個困難存在于具體寫作手法的展開上，有些考生能夠明白寫作的大體方向，但是在行文時卻非?？辗海瑳]有具體的自然環(huán)境描寫、媽媽所犯錯誤的細(xì)節(jié)描寫和媽媽展現(xiàn)給我們的愛的細(xì)節(jié)描寫，也沒有對這些情節(jié)的心理描寫，更加沒有運用到引用、比較、比喻這種較高級的寫作手法，整篇文章相當(dāng)單調(diào)乏味，缺乏實質(zhì)內(nèi)容。

還有一種困難是語言知識方面的困難，這具體表現(xiàn)在學(xué)生對于寫前篇章的語言知識解讀和寫中語言知識運用兩方面的困難，前者具體表現(xiàn)如下：有些考生不理解We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chance.這句話隱含的意思是雖然只身在陌生城市探險很刺激（輕微褒義），但是我們不愿去冒這個風(fēng)險。這句話含有擔(dān)憂的意思，間接影響讀后續(xù)寫活動的開展。后者則是表現(xiàn)為考生寫出來的文章所用的詞匯和句型偏向簡單、沒有出現(xiàn)高級句型、也沒有令人難忘的詞匯，沒有給人耳目一新的感覺。

二、讀后續(xù)寫題型應(yīng)對策略探究

針對上面所談到的完成讀后續(xù)寫解題所面臨的種種困難，筆者建議從細(xì)處入手，從邏輯角度層層推進(jìn)，從分性—定向—組句—成文四個具體步驟入手，克服困擾學(xué)生在解答此類題型過程中的種種困難，使他們能夠取得滿意的分?jǐn)?shù)。

1.分性

對于篇章內(nèi)容，我們可以使用粗體（指代褒義）、正常（指代中性）、斜體（指代貶義）三種不同的字體來確定不同段落、不同句子所表達(dá)的不同意思，從而概而總之來確定整篇文章所包含的中心大意。對于2017年11月份的高考英語試題讀后續(xù)寫篇章部分，我們首先可做如下劃分：

I had an interesting childhood: It was filled with surprises and amusements, all because of my mother—loving, sweet,andyet absent-minded and forgetful.One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.

My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way.As the first day of our trip approached, David, my eight-year-old brother,and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends.Who knew if we’d ever see them again?Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books, games, camping equipment, and a tent into the car and bravely drove off.We bravely drove off again two hours later after we’d returned home to get the purse and traveler’s checks Mom had forgotten.

David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dad slept:“You stand outside the door and play lookout（放哨）while I go ,and I’ll stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.”I had terrible pictures in my mind:“Honey, where are the kids?”“What?!Oh, Gosh...I thought they were being awfully quiet.”We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chances.

On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy.After driving in vain for some time,Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there?David and I became nervous.To our great relief,Dad turned down the idea.Mom never could understand our objections.If a strange family showed up on her front doorstep, Mom would have been delighted.She thinks everyone in the world is as nice as she is.We finally found a vacancy in the next town.

從上文可以看出閱讀部分以貶義為主，點明媽媽的缺點（carelessness），但是也含有中性和褒義的內(nèi)容，這就暗示寫作部分既要順承上面讀的內(nèi)容，寫到媽媽所犯的錯誤（貶義部分），又要提到媽媽對我們展現(xiàn)的愛（褒義部分），接下來要考慮的是如何搭配，使文章出彩。

2.定向

確定好讀后續(xù)寫寫作部分的性質(zhì)之后，接下來要考慮的問題是確定寫作內(nèi)容的方向，第一段The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.可以考慮寫作方向向下，著重寫媽媽在旅游途中所出的差錯，以及我們對此的反應(yīng)，而第二段We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.則可以考慮表達(dá)方向向上，主要表達(dá)媽媽對我們的關(guān)愛, 以及我們對此的反應(yīng)。請看下面一篇考生的習(xí)作：

Paragraph 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.That night we set up our tent in a park.The moon was held up above the sky，shining her smooth and charming moonlight.Twinkle stars blinking,fragrant breeze gently stroke my head, as if comforting all the tiredness along the trip.The next day, Dad brought us to the car and asked me to clear all the things away.Not long after we came back to the car, Mom arrived, then we continued our trip.

Paragraph 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.I was still recalling the splendid scenery when we were in the living room of my grandparents’.David excitedly narrated our experience,eyes blazing with enthusiasm.Worries came to his forehead when he explained the trouble.A smile lifted the corner of his mouth when it came to camping.Suddenly Mom shouted out in a strange voice.Haunted by a strong sense of honor, I heard Mom screaming“Oh, I forgot the tent!”

上文作者語言基礎(chǔ)知識扎實，能夠使用高級句型和高級詞匯，而且可能經(jīng)常閱讀O ? Henry的小說，采用以出乎意料的結(jié)局為文章收官的寫作手法，這是作者在寫作時展現(xiàn)出來的亮點，但是仔細(xì)分析文章的寫作方向，我們不難發(fā)現(xiàn)全文沒有展現(xiàn)媽媽對我們的關(guān)愛，所以無法緊扣文章主題My Imperfect Good Mom中的Good一詞，不能不說這是影響本文取得高分的最大障礙。

3.組句

在考慮寫作本文時，我們必須統(tǒng)籌安排寫作的內(nèi)容，比如如何合理安排輕微褒義的自然環(huán)境描寫和對這些環(huán)境的感受(response)、貶義的媽媽犯的錯誤以及我們對她的錯誤的反應(yīng)（reaction）、褒義的媽媽對我們具體的關(guān)愛以及我們的感受（feeling），如何確定寫作順序組合、寫作側(cè)重和詳略及寫作內(nèi)容的銜接，這些都是組句這個環(huán)節(jié)應(yīng)該考慮的問題，下面呈現(xiàn)一篇比較高級的范文：

Paragraph 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.Mom insisted that we must make full use of the tent since we had bought it.David and I looked at Dad, hoping he could stop her crazy idea.To our great disappointment, he agreed.We spent a whole afternoon seeking a nice camping place and set up our tent before the night fell.It was the first time that I had thought Mom could be wise.“Oh, I forgot the pillows!”What a misconception!But despite the ache of my neck, we had some great nights.

Paragraph 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.The bright blue sky, the limitless green grass, the group of sheep, the setting sun and the countless stars in the curtain of nights kept me spellbound.Not only did we see the picturesque scenery,we also managed to consider Mom’s scandals as a kind of fun.I really love my mom.To our relief, we arrived at grandparents’place and went back to our home with all of four people.It was so fortunate to see my friends again.

這篇習(xí)作既有“媽媽忘記枕頭”這個犯錯誤的情節(jié)（貶義）以及我們的感嘆What a misconception，也有輕微褒義的自然環(huán)境描寫以及我們的評價But despite the ache of my neck, we had some great nights.和Not only did we see the picturesque scenery...，也有我們對媽媽的愛的感受It was the first time that I had thought Mom could be wise.和...we also managed to consider Mom’s scandals as a kind of fun.I really love my mom.相比上面一篇文章，本文結(jié)構(gòu)更加合理、內(nèi)容更加翔實。

4.成文

經(jīng)過了分性、定向和組句三個階段后，我們進(jìn)入了最后的收官之戰(zhàn)，那就是組成文章。在這個環(huán)節(jié)，我們必須修飾加工，一方面在寫作內(nèi)容上更加突出重點，刪除一些無關(guān)緊要的次要信息，凸顯一些能夠展現(xiàn)中心思想的主要支撐信息，使讀后續(xù)寫部分與前面閱讀部分能夠自然銜接，做到無縫對接。另一方面在語言知識上進(jìn)行深加工，無論是語法、句型還是詞匯上都要做到準(zhǔn)確無誤。比如時態(tài)前后一致、句型結(jié)構(gòu)正確、不缺少也不多余任何連詞，詞匯上尤其是單詞拼寫上不能出現(xiàn)錯誤，避免硬傷出現(xiàn)。在三篇美文中，下面一篇學(xué)生習(xí)作是成文環(huán)節(jié)做得最成功的文章：

Paragraph 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.We decided to camp along the river throughout the town.The views there were surprisingly beautiful—the warm sunshine, the fresh air, the clean water.We sat on the grass, hooked by the splendid nature.However, when Dad was about to put up our tent, it suddenly occurred to him that Mom again, had left it, as well as the camping equipment in the hotel.Speechlessly, Dad had to go back to fetch them to continue our camping.

Paragraph 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.Every time we got to a new place, Mom would cheer up like a child.Calling out David and I, she got off the car, laughed and danced around.She held our hands in her hands, leading us around the big city,the small town and the nice nature.When we came back to the hotel after the tiring but excellent visit, she would hug us and kiss us on our faces.Absent-minded and forgetful as shewas,she never forgot to express her love to us.

在中心內(nèi)容上，本文緊緊突出了My Imperfect Good Mom 這個核心主題，尤其是文章最后一句Absent-minded and forgetful as she was,she never forgot to express her love to us.再次呼應(yīng)中心，使文章非常切題。在寫作手法上，作者運用邏輯思維，用1:2:3的比例分別展開描寫媽媽犯的錯誤、自然環(huán)境欣賞和媽媽對我們的愛，結(jié)構(gòu)非常合理。在語言知識上，運用了高級句型，如as引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語從句、it occurred to somebody that...主語從句和when引導(dǎo)的時間狀語從句，還運用了hook, splendid, occur to, as well as, fetch, cheer up, hug等高級詞匯，使全文語言處于高水平。從各個角度來看，本文都無懈可擊，幾近完美。

新高考改革給每位考生提出了更高的讀寫要求，但是那些感性和理性思維有機統(tǒng)一的學(xué)生，只要嚴(yán)格遵循“分性—定向—組句—成文”四步，一定能夠輕松攻克讀后續(xù)寫這一堡壘，取得高考的勝利。