占記榮 王文召
摘 要:英語讀后續(xù)寫中,續(xù)寫與所給短文在語言、內(nèi)容、邏輯上的照應(yīng)程度越高,則續(xù)寫越成功。根據(jù)文學(xué)創(chuàng)作中有伏必應(yīng)的特征,教師在讀后續(xù)寫教學(xué)中,可以從細(xì)節(jié)描寫、情節(jié)或背景、特定物品、續(xù)寫段首句等角度出發(fā),在閱讀部分確定伏筆,在續(xù)寫中進(jìn)行照應(yīng),從而幫助學(xué)生完成語言更準(zhǔn)確、內(nèi)容更豐富、邏輯更嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)睦m(xù)寫。
關(guān)鍵詞:讀后續(xù)寫;伏筆;照應(yīng)
浙江省英語新高考寫作新題型讀后續(xù)寫提供一段350詞以內(nèi)的語言材料,要求考生根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容、所給段落開頭語和所標(biāo)示關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(150詞左右),將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文[1]。續(xù)寫與所給材料在語言、內(nèi)容、邏輯上的照應(yīng)程度越高,則續(xù)寫越成功。但學(xué)生在讀后續(xù)寫中往往存在以下問題:讀中缺少閱讀發(fā)現(xiàn),閱讀時(shí)不知道如何挖掘原文中的材料為續(xù)寫所用;寫中缺少銜接與連貫,續(xù)寫與原文疏離。為解決學(xué)生的這一寫作問題,筆者探索在讀后續(xù)寫中運(yùn)用伏筆與照應(yīng)的寫作技巧,以期幫助學(xué)生完成語言更準(zhǔn)確、內(nèi)容更豐富、邏輯更嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)睦m(xù)寫。
伏筆是文學(xué)創(chuàng)作中描寫、敘述的一種手法,指作者對(duì)將要在作品中出現(xiàn)的人物或事件,預(yù)作提示或暗示,以求前后呼應(yīng)。這種手法有助于全文達(dá)到結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)、情節(jié)發(fā)展合理的效果,其最顯著的特征是有伏必應(yīng)。同樣,照應(yīng)是文學(xué)創(chuàng)作中描寫、敘述的一種手法,指作品下文與上文相呼應(yīng),即“回應(yīng)上文”。好的伏筆與照應(yīng)能起到暗示、點(diǎn)題、溝通文章內(nèi)部聯(lián)系等作用,使文理通順,合情合理,往往能讓人產(chǎn)生心靈共鳴或意外的閱讀驚喜。
在一篇完整的文章當(dāng)中,作者通常在篇首或篇中設(shè)置伏筆,在篇中或篇尾進(jìn)行照應(yīng),伏筆與照應(yīng)由作者一人完成。讀后續(xù)寫則是提供一篇不完整的故事,續(xù)寫者在閱讀后對(duì)文章進(jìn)行續(xù)寫。在這種情況下,伏筆往往是出現(xiàn)在文章的閱讀部分,續(xù)寫者需要在閱讀部分先確定合適的伏筆點(diǎn),再在續(xù)寫部分完成照應(yīng)。下面,筆者以2016年10月浙江省英語新高考首考的讀后續(xù)寫(試題詳見浙江教學(xué)月刊社網(wǎng)站www.jxyk.com“資料下載”中的“原文選登”)為例進(jìn)行課堂教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì),在課堂教學(xué)中引導(dǎo)學(xué)生去發(fā)現(xiàn)、掌握并運(yùn)用這一寫作技巧。
一、教學(xué)過程
Step 1 Lead-in & Brainstorming
筆者開門見山提出本課教學(xué)目標(biāo):伏筆與照應(yīng)在讀后續(xù)寫中的運(yùn)用,然后讓學(xué)生對(duì)下列問題進(jìn)行頭腦風(fēng)暴:什么是伏筆,什么是照應(yīng);伏筆在一篇文章中的位置,作者可以在哪些地方設(shè)置什么樣的伏筆;照應(yīng)的作用;伏筆與照應(yīng)在讀后續(xù)寫中的作用。
【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】教師開門見山介紹本節(jié)課的教學(xué)目標(biāo)和要求,讓學(xué)生了解本節(jié)課的學(xué)習(xí)內(nèi)容或要解決的問題,以此引起學(xué)生的有意注意。頭腦風(fēng)暴能激活學(xué)生已有的知識(shí)圖式,激發(fā)學(xué)生的思維,引導(dǎo)學(xué)生將語文課堂上學(xué)到的伏筆和照應(yīng)進(jìn)行知識(shí)遷移,運(yùn)用到英語寫作當(dāng)中,將知識(shí)轉(zhuǎn)化為能力。
Step 2 Reading & Sharing
學(xué)生先各自精讀讀后續(xù)寫所提供的文本,重點(diǎn)關(guān)注短文中畫線的關(guān)鍵詞語,并畫出可以設(shè)置伏筆的地方,然后小組合作合并伏筆點(diǎn),并以能否在續(xù)寫部分進(jìn)行照應(yīng)為前提討論小組所列出伏筆點(diǎn)的可行性,最后以小組為單位在班級(jí)分享,將伏筆點(diǎn)寫在黑板上。
【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】因?yàn)橹R(shí)儲(chǔ)備、語言能力、閱讀喜好、閱讀視角不同等原因,對(duì)于同一篇文章,不同的學(xué)生有不同的閱讀體驗(yàn),不同的閱讀體驗(yàn)會(huì)帶來不同的閱讀發(fā)現(xiàn)。學(xué)生在這一活動(dòng)中學(xué)會(huì)敢于體驗(yàn),敢于發(fā)現(xiàn),敢于分享閱讀體驗(yàn),并在分享中豐富閱讀體驗(yàn),銳化語言的敏感度,在后續(xù)的寫作中才能寫出亮點(diǎn)。
Step 3 Discussing & Summing-up
全班學(xué)生討論黑板上所列伏筆點(diǎn)的可行性,并對(duì)伏筆點(diǎn)進(jìn)行特征歸納(見表1中的閱讀部分伏筆點(diǎn))。
【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】通過歸納,幫助學(xué)生將事實(shí)知識(shí)(know-what)轉(zhuǎn)化為技能知識(shí)(know-how),培養(yǎng)學(xué)生分析、綜合、概括的能力,提升學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)和知識(shí)運(yùn)用能力。
Step 4 Experiencing & Internalizing
學(xué)生根據(jù)表1中的伏筆點(diǎn),寫出續(xù)寫部分照應(yīng)思路(見表1,畫線內(nèi)容為續(xù)寫部分的照應(yīng))。
背景:July, forest, stream helicopter,
yellow blouse 第一段:But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.
第二段:It was daybreak when Jane woke up. 續(xù)寫部分
照應(yīng)思路 語言描寫照應(yīng):“The best spot to camp is the place where you are.”
動(dòng)作描寫照應(yīng):How she wished she had never quarreled with Tom.
If she had never quarreled with Tom, she/they would ...
心理描寫照應(yīng):Her anger and tiredness were swept away the instant she saw Tom.
Her anger/tiredness was overtaken by ... 情節(jié)照應(yīng):Again Jane lay awake in the dark, missing Tom and her family.
背景照應(yīng):Although it was already July, she still felt very cold in the forest, and the gurgle of the stream added her cold and loneliness. Tom spotted her yellow blouse from in the helicopter.
Jane waved her yellow blouse on hearing the helicopter. She was safe with Tom. She neednt stay in the forest for another night. ]
【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】學(xué)生先根據(jù)閱讀中的伏筆點(diǎn)寫出照應(yīng)思路,體驗(yàn)與內(nèi)化伏筆與照應(yīng)這一寫作技巧;在激活寫作思維的同時(shí),為后面的續(xù)寫搭建了語言和內(nèi)容的支架,使得續(xù)寫內(nèi)容豐富,同時(shí)不偏離原文主題,又與閱讀部分高度契合。
Step 5 Writing & Sharing
學(xué)生根據(jù)表1中的照應(yīng)思路完成續(xù)寫,并在續(xù)寫中標(biāo)出照應(yīng)部分。教師選取部分學(xué)生習(xí)作進(jìn)行展示,讓學(xué)生去閱讀并發(fā)現(xiàn)習(xí)作中的照應(yīng),再讓學(xué)生對(duì)閱讀部分和續(xù)寫部分進(jìn)行整體閱讀。下面是選取的兩份學(xué)生習(xí)作(粗體部分為相關(guān)照應(yīng)的句子,畫線詞語為閱讀部分的關(guān)鍵詞語)。
學(xué)生習(xí)作一:
But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Jane stopped walking and leaned against a tree by the steam. Although it was already July, she still felt very cold in the forest, and the gurgle of the stream at night added her cold and loneliness.(與閱讀部分背景照應(yīng)) If she had never quarreled with Tom, they would be enjoying the perfect quiet night together in the warm tent.(與閱讀部分動(dòng)作描寫照應(yīng)) Resting her head on the lap and hugging herself tightly, Jane fell asleep, with tears still on her cheeks.
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. The nightmare exhausted her. Kneeling beside the stream, she refreshed herself with the water. After eating some berries, she made her way to find the lake. After a mile or so, fortunately, the sound of the helicopter was heard again. Jane gathered her strength to climb a rock, waving her yellow blouse. To her great joy, the helicopter didnt fly away this time.(與閱讀部分特定物品照應(yīng)) Tom hugged her as if she would get lost again. Jane sighed in relief, she was safe with Tom. She neednt stay in the forest for another night.(與續(xù)寫部分段首句照應(yīng))
學(xué)生習(xí)作二:
But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. It was even harder for Jane to find the lake. She stopped and rested against a tree by the stream. “I shouldnt have quarreled with Tom about the tiny things.”she regretted, “If I hadnt walked away angrily, I wouldnt have got lost.”(與閱讀部分動(dòng)作描寫照應(yīng)) Again Jane lay awake in the dark, missing Tom and her family. (與閱讀部分情節(jié)照應(yīng)) Her anger was overtaken by the love she felt for Tom.(與閱讀部分心理描寫照應(yīng)) She knew he was concerned about her safety and was searching for her. Gradually, she calmed down and fell asleep.
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. She became energetic after a nights sleep. After eating some berries, she moved on to find the lake. Walking along the stream, Jane was praying that Tom would find her soon. Her prayer was really heard! Tom spotted her yellow blouse from in the helicopter.(與閱讀部分特定物品照應(yīng)) Tom dashed to hug her as soon as the helicopter landed. They apologized to each other, forgave each other with tears in their eyes and went home happily, planning the next camp in the forest again.
【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】學(xué)生結(jié)合照應(yīng)思路,適當(dāng)增加情節(jié)及語句間的連接成分,寫出情節(jié)合理、結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊的文章;教師展示學(xué)生習(xí)作,讓學(xué)生去閱讀并發(fā)現(xiàn)習(xí)作中的照應(yīng),檢測(cè)與鞏固學(xué)生對(duì)伏筆與照應(yīng)的運(yùn)用能力;通過對(duì)閱讀部分和續(xù)寫部分的整體閱讀,學(xué)生更深刻地體驗(yàn)伏筆與照應(yīng)的運(yùn)用能提高續(xù)寫部分語言使用的準(zhǔn)確性和豐富性以及提升讀寫兩部分的融洽度。
Step 6 Summing-up
教師引導(dǎo)學(xué)生再回顧本堂課教學(xué)目標(biāo),結(jié)合頭腦風(fēng)暴的幾個(gè)問題檢測(cè)學(xué)生的學(xué)習(xí)情況,并帶領(lǐng)學(xué)生對(duì)本堂課所學(xué)知識(shí)進(jìn)行歸納(見表2),使學(xué)生掌握讀后續(xù)寫中伏筆與照應(yīng)的寫作手法。
4. 留意續(xù)寫部分的段首句,以續(xù)寫段首句為伏筆點(diǎn)。 伏筆與照應(yīng)在讀后續(xù)寫中的作用 在閱讀部分的人物細(xì)節(jié)描寫中尋找伏筆,然后在續(xù)寫中予以照應(yīng),不僅能合理運(yùn)用符合語境的語言,將語言的輸入和輸出緊密結(jié)合,而且能使文章的情感更加細(xì)膩豐富。
以閱讀部分特定的情節(jié)、背景或特定物品為伏筆,為下文的情節(jié)變化發(fā)展作埋伏,使續(xù)寫不偏離主題,同時(shí)突出主要人物或事件,增加情節(jié)張力,使情節(jié)更具合理性。
以續(xù)寫部分段首句為伏筆點(diǎn),在續(xù)寫的結(jié)尾部分與之呼應(yīng),有助于故事情節(jié)在故事發(fā)展的高潮之后更意味深長(zhǎng),給讀者留下更深的閱讀感受。 ]
【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】通過歸納,幫助學(xué)生將事實(shí)知識(shí)(know-what)轉(zhuǎn)化為技能知識(shí)(know-how)和原理知識(shí)(know-why),同時(shí)學(xué)會(huì)知識(shí)的遷移與運(yùn)用,既培養(yǎng)學(xué)生分析、綜合、概括的能力,也提升學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)。
二、課后反思
伏筆點(diǎn)應(yīng)重點(diǎn)關(guān)注閱讀部分畫線的關(guān)鍵詞語。一方面,試題要求續(xù)寫部分應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語,另一方面,通常情況下,這些畫線的關(guān)鍵詞語與故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展聯(lián)系緊密。
學(xué)生在續(xù)寫時(shí)要有作者意識(shí)。一般情況下,在一篇完整的文章當(dāng)中,伏筆與照應(yīng)由作者一人完成,而在讀后續(xù)寫當(dāng)中,伏筆在閱讀部分,照應(yīng)在寫作部分,照應(yīng)由續(xù)寫者來完成。因此,在讀后續(xù)寫中使用這一寫作技巧,續(xù)寫者應(yīng)該具備作者意識(shí),體會(huì)作者的情感,從作者的文本里尋求大方向,確保續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容、邏輯以及風(fēng)格與原作保持一致,同時(shí)從作者的文本里尋求小細(xì)節(jié),豐富語言與情節(jié)。
此外,學(xué)生在日常讀后續(xù)寫訓(xùn)練中都應(yīng)該制作類似表1的讀后續(xù)寫伏筆與照應(yīng)手法訓(xùn)練卡,不致于在寫作中出現(xiàn)伏筆點(diǎn)混亂或遺漏照應(yīng)的現(xiàn)象,熟練掌握與運(yùn)用這一寫作技巧。學(xué)生還可以嘗試“一處伏筆,多種照應(yīng)”的寫法,激發(fā)合理的想象力和寫作創(chuàng)造力,發(fā)展個(gè)性化思維品質(zhì)。
參考文獻(xiàn):
[1]中華人民共和國教育部考試中心.普通高等學(xué)校招生全國統(tǒng)一考試英語科考試說明(高考綜合改革試驗(yàn)省份試用)(第一版)[M].北京:高等教育出版社,2015:6.