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篇章模式視角下的高中英語(yǔ)概要寫作探究(二)

2019-10-21 06:10:10吳俊峰
作文新天地(高中版) 2019年8期
關(guān)鍵詞:內(nèi)文原句主旨

吳俊峰

概要寫作,是一種控制性的作文形式,要求閱讀者在忠于原文的前提下,用自己簡(jiǎn)潔、精練的語(yǔ)言來(lái)概括文章的主旨與主要內(nèi)容。概要寫作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)要求:1.對(duì)原文要點(diǎn)的理解和呈現(xiàn)情況;2.應(yīng)用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的準(zhǔn)確性;3.上下文的連貫性;4.對(duì)各要點(diǎn)表達(dá)的獨(dú)立性?;诖藰?biāo)準(zhǔn),完成一篇概要寫作需要重視語(yǔ)篇結(jié)構(gòu)的解讀分析,從語(yǔ)篇的體裁、結(jié)構(gòu)入手去解讀和架構(gòu)概要篇章;從段際、句際、句內(nèi)的邏輯關(guān)系去解讀和建構(gòu)語(yǔ)篇內(nèi)含的銜接連貫。

本文延續(xù)上期的“正反議論模式”(編者注:發(fā)表于本刊2019年1·2期),進(jìn)一步通過(guò)講練結(jié)合的形式談?wù)劯乓獙懽魉姆N常見(jiàn)篇章模式中的“先破后立模式”和五個(gè)科學(xué)步驟。

一、先破后立模式

主要特點(diǎn):先破后立模式的文章結(jié)構(gòu)很適合寫爭(zhēng)議性觀點(diǎn)的文章,通常論證與自己相反的觀點(diǎn)的錯(cuò)誤性,自然地引出自己的觀點(diǎn),然后對(duì)自己的觀點(diǎn)加以論證。先破再立,破中有立,辯證統(tǒng)一,在批駁錯(cuò)誤論點(diǎn)的同時(shí),闡明了自己的主張。該模式體現(xiàn)了批判性思維的運(yùn)用,要對(duì)準(zhǔn)靶子,抓住要害,注意分寸。

基本結(jié)構(gòu):1.提出某問(wèn)題;2.討論相關(guān)觀點(diǎn);3.駁斥已有觀點(diǎn)誤區(qū);4.提出新主張。

常用句式:

1.raise a storm of debates ?引發(fā)一場(chǎng)辯論風(fēng)暴

2.a controversial issue ?有爭(zhēng)議性的問(wèn)題

3.be supported by sound reasons ?有充分的理由支持

4.Recently, …h(huán)ave caused much controversy.

最近……引發(fā)了廣泛的爭(zhēng)議。

5.The… is a hard evidence to demonstrate that…

……是一個(gè)確鑿的證據(jù),表明……

6.There is a striking difference between them.

它們之間存在顯著的不同。

7.Thats not the case. / The truth is quite otherwise.

事實(shí)并非如此。/真相與此大相徑庭。

8.The latest findings suggest otherwise. / challenge the long-held opinion that…

最新研究發(fā)現(xiàn)結(jié)果恰恰相反。/質(zhì)疑了長(zhǎng)期以來(lái)一直秉持的觀點(diǎn)……

9.Some people believe / hold that… ,while others argue that…

對(duì)于這個(gè)問(wèn)題,不同的人有不同的看法。有些人認(rèn)為……另一些人主張……

二、真題鏈接(2016年6月杭州高二期末調(diào)研考試)

閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

How can you start a conversation with an English person? The answer is quite simple. Many people will tell you that any English conversation begins with The Weather. Such a fixation with the weather finds expression in Dr. Johnsons famous comment that “When two English meet, their first talk is of weather.” Though Johnsons observation is as accurate now as it was over two hundred years ago, most commentators (評(píng)論者)fail to come up with a convincing explanation for this English weather-speak.

Bill Bryson, for example, concludes that, as the English weather is not at all exciting, the obsession (癡迷) with it can hardly be understood. He argues that “To an outsider, the most striking thing about the English weather is that there is not very much of it.” Simply, the reason is that the unusual and unpredictable weather is almost unknown in the British Isles.

Jeremy Paxman, however, disagrees with Bryson, arguing that the English weather is by nature attractive. Bryson is wrong, he says, because the English preference for the weather is not about the natural phenomena at all. “The interest is less in the phenomena themselves, but in uncertainty.” According to him, the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain and it attracts the English as well as the outsider.

Bill Bryson and Jeremy Paxman stand for common conception about the weather-speak among the English. Both commentators, somehow, are missing the point. The English weather conversation has nothing to do with the weather. English weather-speak is a system of signs, which is developed to help the speakers overcome the natural reserve and actually talk to each other. Everyone knows conversations starting with weather-speak are not requests for weather data. Rather, they are routine greetings, conversation starters or the blank “fillers”. In other words, English weather-speak is a means of social bonding.

三、寫作步驟

1. 瀏覽全文,抓住短文大意,分析體裁特點(diǎn)

上述真題是說(shuō)明文,分為四個(gè)段落,討論了英國(guó)人為何見(jiàn)面時(shí)最普遍的話題莫過(guò)于談?wù)撎鞖狻5谝欢问紫忍岢稣務(wù)撎鞖獬蔀橛?guó)人見(jiàn)面的主要話題方式,但對(duì)此現(xiàn)象人們至今未找到令人信服的解釋(提出問(wèn)題),然后第二、三段從正反兩方面分析多變的天氣本身到底有無(wú)強(qiáng)大的吸引力而引起人們談?wù)摚ǚ治鰡?wèn)題,陳述已有觀點(diǎn)),最后在第四段駁斥了上述兩種觀點(diǎn)誤區(qū),并提出作者的主張“事實(shí)上,對(duì)于保守的英國(guó)人來(lái)說(shuō),談?wù)撎鞖馐且环N安全不侵犯他人隱私的話題,有助于克服交際障礙,建立最淺層次的友誼鏈接,實(shí)現(xiàn)真正的交際溝通”(駁斥已有觀點(diǎn),提出新主張)。

2. 再次快讀,明確段落主旨,畫出思維導(dǎo)圖

不難看出,第一段提出問(wèn)題,第二、三段從正反兩方面分析問(wèn)題,陳述兩種已有觀點(diǎn),第四段駁斥已有觀點(diǎn),最終提出作者的主張。其思維導(dǎo)圖如下:

【技巧點(diǎn)撥】要學(xué)會(huì)畫思維導(dǎo)圖,因?yàn)榍逦目蚣芰鞒逃兄诒WC要點(diǎn)表達(dá)的獨(dú)立性和完整性,有助于分析各段落間的銜接關(guān)系,從而保證上下文的連貫性。

3. 最后細(xì)讀,定位概寫要點(diǎn),畫出關(guān)鍵詞句

各段的要點(diǎn)分析如下(下劃雙線的句子為主題句,下劃單線的句子為次要點(diǎn),加邊框的詞為表示總起、轉(zhuǎn)折、過(guò)渡、總結(jié)等功能的連接性詞匯和過(guò)渡性詞匯):

【技巧點(diǎn)撥】連接性詞匯和過(guò)渡性詞匯承擔(dān)著總起、轉(zhuǎn)折、過(guò)渡、總結(jié)等功能,要充分利用文本的語(yǔ)境,把握文章內(nèi)容遞進(jìn)的脈絡(luò)層次,體會(huì)這些詞匯承上啟下的“潤(rùn)滑劑”作用。結(jié)合本文談主題句或要點(diǎn)的標(biāo)志:

(1)段落中出現(xiàn)轉(zhuǎn)折時(shí),該句很可能是要點(diǎn),如第一段Though引出的句子。

(2)作者有意識(shí)地重復(fù)的觀點(diǎn)通常是要點(diǎn),如第四段“In other words”引出的句子。

(3)首段出現(xiàn)疑問(wèn)句時(shí),對(duì)該問(wèn)題的解答通常就是主旨句,如文章開頭第一段“How can you start a conversation with an English person?”引出的主旨句子“any English conversation begins with The Weather”。

(4)段落或篇章主旨的標(biāo)志詞:therefore, thus,but, however, in short, simply, anyhow, somehow等,如第二、三、四段。

(5)在for example, first, second等之前的句子中,或在all in all, above all 之后的句子中,如第二、三、四段。

4. 轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá),整合要點(diǎn)成句,初步連句成篇

(1)整合成句

要點(diǎn)1:將第一段兩個(gè)主題句整合成一句,使觀點(diǎn)更明確。此句使用though改為but連詞表明轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系;begins with 同義轉(zhuǎn)換為be initiated with;most commentators fail to…句型轉(zhuǎn)換為few commentators can;come up with a convincing explanation 詞性轉(zhuǎn)換為convincingly explain。

文本原句:any English conversation begins with1 The Weather, …Though2 …most commentators fail3 to come up with a convincing explanation4 for this English weather-speak.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→English conversation is naturally/inherently initiated with1 the weather topic, but2 few commentators3 can convincingly explain4 the reason for it.

要點(diǎn)2:第二段次要點(diǎn)“Simply, the reason is that the unusual and unpredictable weather is almost unknown”是例子和重復(fù)信息,為了簡(jiǎn)明扼要,可省略和削減。

文本原句:Bill Bryson, for example, concludes that1, as the English weather is not at all exciting2, the obsession with it can hardly be understood3.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→Bill Bryson holds that1 it cant be comprehended3 for the English weather is boring2.

要點(diǎn)3:第三段主題句和次要點(diǎn) “the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain”可整合成一句。此句使用“l(fā)ie in… ”表達(dá)精確簡(jiǎn)練;“nature attractive”和“is very changeable and uncertain”分別同義詞性轉(zhuǎn)換為“attraction”和“uncertainty”。

文本原句:Jeremy Paxman, however, disagrees with Bryson, arguing that1 the English weather is by nature attractive2…. According to him, the weather in England is very changeable and uncertain3 and it attracts the English as well as the outsider.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→Jeremy Paxman argues1 that its attraction2 just lies in its uncertainty3.

要點(diǎn)4:第四段主題句和關(guān)鍵詞“a means of social bonding”整合成一句。此句使用“not…but… ”句型形成很好的語(yǔ)義連貫。

文本原句:Both commentators, somehow, are missing the point1. The English weather conversation has nothing to do with1 the weather. …h(huán)elp the speakers overcome the natural reserve2 and actually talk to each other3. …English weather-speak is a means of social bonding4.

轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)→ the English weather-speak is not about weather itself1, but a way to break social barrier2 and keep social connection4 which makes communication easier3.

(2)連句成篇,形成概要初稿

English conversation is initiated with the weather topic, but few commentators can convincingly explain the reason for it. Bill Bryson holds that it cant be comprehended for the English weather is boring, while Jeremy Paxman argues that its attraction just lies in its uncertainty. The English weather-speak is not about weather itself, but a way to break social barrier and keep social connection which makes communication easier.

5. 優(yōu)化語(yǔ)言,注重全文連貫,謄寫工整規(guī)范

結(jié)合該真題文體特點(diǎn),使用“some… , while others…”代表兩種對(duì)立觀點(diǎn)和“Virtually/Actually”引出事實(shí)本質(zhì),進(jìn)行有效銜接。同時(shí)注意詞數(shù)要求(60詞),形成概要終稿如下:

English conversation is naturally initiated with the weather topic, but few commentators can convincingly explain the reason for it.【要點(diǎn)1】Some hold that it cant be comprehended for the English weather is boring,【要點(diǎn)2】 while others argue that its attraction just lies in its uncertainty.【要點(diǎn)3】Virtually, the English weather-speak is not about weather itself, but a way to break social barrier and keep social connection which makes communication easier.【要點(diǎn)4】

我們可以將此類“先破后立模式”文章形成以下模式:

Contradictory to / In contrast to the long-held negative impact of 話題, recent studies have indicated/ revealed that sth. incredibly brings us a range of benefits.【要點(diǎn)1】 Above all, more easily shifts you into.【要點(diǎn)2】Additionally, while doing…, chances are that…, which greatly contributes to…. 【要點(diǎn)3】 Ultimately, you are likely to…, thus doing sth.【要點(diǎn)4】

四、實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練

閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

We might think we know which colors do what. The idea that red wakes us up or blue calms us down is deeply rooted in Western culture. But do they really change our behavior in the ways that we assume?

When it comes to scientific research, the results are mixed and at times contested. Some studies have found that people do better on cognitive tasks when faced with red rather than blue or green; others show the opposite. The idea is that if you repeatedly have a particular experience surrounded by a certain color, then you eventually begin to associate that color with the way you were feeling or behaving. A school career spent reading your teachers red writing circling your mistakes forever makes you link red with danger. Blue meanwhile is more likely to be associated with calmer situations like marveling at a big blue expanse of sky.

Of course there will always be exceptions—the comment from the teacher saying “well done” is also written in red. It is true that people do make different associations with different colors, but whether this translates into behaving in a certain way or succeeding at a particular task is a different question.

In 2009 researchers tried to clarify the situation. They sat their participants at computer screens colored blue, red or “neutral” and tested them on various tasks. With a red screen people did better on tasks requiring attention to detail, but when the screen was blue they did better on creative tasks. In practice this might be tricky.

However, when another team tried to repeat the study with a larger group of people in 2014, the effect of color disappeared. The initial study consisted of just 69 people. In this new, bigger study of 263 volunteers, background color made no difference.

So colors might well have an effect, but so far those effects have been difficult to demonstrate consistently and sometimes dont seem to exist at all.

【參考范文】Weve long believed each color has a specific effect on behavior, but researches show that this effect is complicated and varying with certain habitual experience,【要點(diǎn)1】which helps explain why red deemed negative assessment indicates recognition elsewhere.【要點(diǎn)2】Interestingly, a 2009 finding in favor of color effect was disproved by another experiment based on a larger sample of candidates.【要點(diǎn)3】 So color effect may not exist at all.【要點(diǎn)4】

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