郭娟

王初明教授指出讀后續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容要創(chuàng)造，于是很多考生認(rèn)為續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容可以根據(jù)自己的常識或生活經(jīng)驗(yàn)進(jìn)行大膽的創(chuàng)新，只要能夠做到自圓其說，符合邏輯即可，其實(shí)不然。下面筆者以2023年的高考讀后續(xù)寫為例，梳理總結(jié)續(xù)寫內(nèi)容創(chuàng)造應(yīng)遵循的原則，以助考生一臂之力。

2023年讀后續(xù)寫的試題如下：

When I was in middle school， my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest. I said no without thinking. I did not love writing. My family came from Brazil， so English was only my second language. Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play， where I played all the parts. No one laughed harder than he did．

So， why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail？ His reply： “Because I love your stories. If youre willing to apply yourself， I think you have a good shot at this.” Encouraged by his words， I agreed to give it a try．

I chose Paul Reveres horse as my subject. Paul Revere was a silversmith （銀匠） in Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18， 1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers were coming. My story would come straight from the horses mouth. Not a brilliant idea， but funny；and unlikely to be anyone elses choice．

What did the horse think， as he sped through the night？ Did he get tired？ Have doubts？ Did he want to quit？ I sympathized immediately. I got tired. I had doubts. I wanted to quit. But， like Reveres horse， I kept going. I worked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my older sister to correct my grammar. I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library. I even read a few of them．

When I handed in the essay to my teacher， he read it， laughed out loud， and said， “Great. Now， write it again.” I wrote it again， and again and again. When I finally finished it， the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing. If I didnt win， I wouldnt care．

注意：1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個左右；2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

A few weeks later， when I almost forgot the contest， there came the news.

I went to my teachers office after the award presentation.

本文講述了作者上中學(xué)時，社會學(xué)老師邀請他參加一個寫作比賽。英語寫作對于他是困難和痛苦的，所以他不假思索就拒絕了。但是在老師的欣賞和鼓勵下，作者同意進(jìn)行嘗試。在寫作過程中，作者雖然很累，但是反復(fù)修改，沒有放棄，堅(jiān)持了下來。在作者最后完成寫作時，感到很快樂，他已經(jīng)不在乎輸贏了。

根據(jù)兩個段首句：幾周后，當(dāng)我?guī)缀跬浤莻€比賽，消息傳來；在頒獎典禮后我去了老師辦公室，可知第一段應(yīng)該包含以下要點(diǎn)：（1）作者獲獎；（2）頒獎相關(guān)信息；（3）提及老師；第二段應(yīng)該包含以下要點(diǎn)：（1）對老師的感激；（2）從這件事當(dāng)中獲得的積極、正能量的人生感悟即文章結(jié)尾處的升華。那么，創(chuàng)造出續(xù)寫內(nèi)容應(yīng)該遵循哪些原則呢？

一、邏輯“它洽”

本文的邏輯“它洽”是指續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要和文章自身即作者的邏輯，而不僅僅是續(xù)寫者的個人邏輯相融洽，即續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要符合邏輯“它洽”，而不僅僅是“自洽”?？忌跇?gòu)造續(xù)寫內(nèi)容時很容易陷入自身的邏輯，根據(jù)自身的生活經(jīng)驗(yàn)和常識來完成兩段的續(xù)寫，而忽視文章本身的邏輯，這樣的續(xù)寫內(nèi)容在考場上，尤其是高考的考場上拿到第五檔的分?jǐn)?shù)是非常困難的，因此考生一定要注意續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的邏輯“它洽”，如下面一位考生的考場作品：

A few weeks later， when I almost forgot the contest， there came the news. I was so sad to learn that I lost the contest. A sense of sorrow flooded over me. I had worked so hard on the writing. I asked my sister to help me with it. More importantly， I also checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library and even read a few of them to finish the writing. My efforts were in vain. Thinking of that， tears clouded my eyes. But I decided to ask my teacher for the reason why I failed in the contest．

I went to my teachers office after the award presentation. When I walked into my teachers office， he was busy with something else. “Sorry to interrupt you， my dear teacher. Can you tell me why my writing didnt get any reward？” I said in very miserable tone. “You made some grammar mistakes in your writing. And you language ability still needs to be improved.” He said patiently. “But I believe that youll succeed sooner or later as long as you keep making great efforts to improve it.” He added， giving me a firm look. From then on， I spared no efforts to enhance my writing. Actually， I fell in love with writing.

該考生的第一段描述作者的作品沒有獲獎的傷心與失望，并要去問老師自己的作品為什么沒有獲獎。該考生認(rèn)為這個邏輯沒有問題，即做到了邏輯“自洽” 。但完全忽略了文章自身的邏輯，原文最后一段已經(jīng)很清楚交代作者不在乎輸贏，于是該考生的考場作文與原文的邏輯是相悖的，并且忽視了第二段首句“頒獎典禮”這一重要信息；相應(yīng)地，該考生的第二段也是不符合原文邏輯。由此可見，在進(jìn)行續(xù)寫內(nèi)容創(chuàng)造時要先理清原文邏輯，讓自己的作品符合邏輯“它洽”。

二、續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的完整性

續(xù)文的完整性是指考生創(chuàng)造的續(xù)寫內(nèi)容應(yīng)包含經(jīng)過推理得出的所有要點(diǎn)或元素，而不是只包含部分或個別要點(diǎn)或元素。由于考場時間緊迫，考生在審題時往往會漏掉或忽視一些要點(diǎn)，續(xù)寫內(nèi)容也往往會因缺乏一些要素而導(dǎo)致得分偏低，如下面一位考生的考場作品：

A few weeks later，when I almost forgot the contest， there came the news.As I looked around in the classroom， my classmate， Tom， appeared. When seeing me， he came up to me and held my hand instantly. “Why did you stand here by yourself？ Dont you know you got the first prize？” he shouted with excitement. “I think I cant be the winner because my writing is not so good.” Hearing this， Tom smiled and whispered， “How proud I am of you！ You made it！ Go and take the prize！” It was not long before a glitter medal was in my hand， shining off a bright light．

I went to my teachers office after the award presentation.I carried the medal in front of me and knocked at my teachers door. At the sight of the medal， the teacher felt a little confused， asking， “You won it？” “We have done it together. Its a surprise for me.” I responded， my face blooming like a flower. “This is the best gift I have ever seen！ But it was your efforts that led to your success” said the teacher excitedly with tears sparkling in his eyes. He embraced me tightly. At that time， I really knew writing was a precious treasure which I would love forever．

該考生的第一段側(cè)重描寫作者得知獲獎信息的過程，而漏掉了對頒獎典禮相關(guān)信息的描述，也沒有提及老師；第二段重點(diǎn)描述告知老師自己獲獎，但是漏掉了對老師表示感謝這個重要元素，因此該考生的續(xù)文并不完整，缺乏基本要點(diǎn)，很難取得高分。因此，考生要先根據(jù)原文以及兩個已給的段首句推斷出續(xù)文應(yīng)該包含的所有基本要素，在創(chuàng)造續(xù)寫內(nèi)容時遵循完整性原則，使得續(xù)文含有所有必要元素。

三、續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的銜接性

考生在創(chuàng)造續(xù)文時至少要做到三處銜接，即第一段第一句要和第一段已給段首句銜接、第一段最后一句要和第二段已給段首句銜接、第二段第一句要和第二段已給段首句銜接。銜接處自然緊密，續(xù)文才能意義連貫、結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，反之亦然。如兩位考生的作品，第一位考生作品如下：

A few weeks later， when I almost forgot the contest， there came the news.? It seemed like a normal afternoon as usual， when I was immersed in reading another attractive book on Paul Revere. （第一處銜接）I heard that all the students should attend an award presentation of the writing contest after class. “Have I won a prize？ Will my horse become another hit 248 years later？” I thought to myself， a bit anxious. Finally came the meeting， at the beginning of which all the other peers were excited to guess who would be the winner. When hearing my name called， I dashed to the stage. Receiving the medal， I could hardly conceal my joy. （第二處銜接）

I went to my teachers office after the award presentation. “Congratulations！ You made it.” he held up his thumb with a shining and inspiring smile. （第三處銜接） From then on， I never doubted about my ability to learn English as a Brazilian. Instead， the experience of the writing contest has urged me to learn my second language through history and culture， which has brought brand new enjoyment to my writing as well as language learning. Never will I forget the brilliant teacher who has activated my potential with appreciation and encouragement.

第二位考生作品如下：

A few weeks later， when I almost forgot the contest， there came the news. Dumfounded， I was told that I won the first prize. （第一處銜接）So astonished was I that I simply couldnt believe it as if it were just a dream. No sooner had I been informed of receiving the reward than I knew it was true. My hard work finally paid off. A surge of happiness as well as excitement ran through me. Never was I more cheerful and thrilled when accepting the award. Never before had I been so proud of myself when given thunderous applause and tremendous cheers. Never was I more grateful to my teacher. （第二處銜接）

I went to my teachers office after the award presentation. The moment I saw him， I immediately told him the exciting news and flung my arms around him， clinging to him， tighter than ever before. （第三處銜接） “Congratulations！ You made it！”，said he in an exceedingly delighted voice， laughing out louder. I expressed my great gratitude to him. Had it not been his encouragement and inspiration I wouldnt have participated in the writing competition， let alone win the first prize. Especially important was that I got a taste for writing that spring， realizing the value of persistence and perseverance. Since then， I have never stopped writing. What a meaningful experience it was！

對比兩位考生的銜接處（加黑色字體），顯然第二位考生的銜接更加自然緊密。第一處銜接最好直接交代“消息”的具體內(nèi)容，而第一位考生在交代時間和作者此時所做的事情，因此信息不能很好吻合；第二處銜接應(yīng)提及作者的老師，而第一位考生在描述自己獲獎后的喜悅，因此不能啟示下文；第三處銜接應(yīng)描述在老師辦公室里見到老師的場景，而第一位考生直接引用老師的話語，信息跨度大，缺乏一定的銜接度。相對比之下，第二位考生的作品的銜接更符合邏輯、更加貼切緊密。

綜上所述，考生在創(chuàng)造續(xù)文時要遵循邏輯“它洽”、完整性以及銜接性的原則，讓續(xù)寫內(nèi)容符合原文邏輯，包含基本要素，并且過渡自然緊密，與原文渾然一體，融洽度高。

【本文系“中小學(xué)英語教學(xué)研究專項(xiàng)課題“基于深度閱讀的高中英語寫作任務(wù)活動的設(shè)計與實(shí)施研究”（批準(zhǔn)號：GDJY-2022-A-yyb84）以及廣東省教育科學(xué)研究項(xiàng)目重點(diǎn)課題“高中英語閱讀教學(xué)中學(xué)科能力培養(yǎng)的行動研究”（批準(zhǔn)號：2023ZQJK119）系列研究成果】

責(zé)任編輯 吳昊雷