廣東 吳娟娟

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫的命題材料往往源于一篇完整的文章。在命題時，命題者會故意刪除其中可續(xù)寫段落的內(nèi)容來考查考生的思維能力和對所學(xué)語言知識的實際運用能力。在一個完整的故事中，作者通常會圍繞某個主題，在篇首或篇中埋下一些伏筆，并在篇尾進行合理照應(yīng)。在讀后續(xù)寫中，伏筆暗示故事的發(fā)展方向，往往出現(xiàn)在原文和所給的兩個段首句中。發(fā)現(xiàn)伏筆并在續(xù)寫中照應(yīng)伏筆可以增強文章的邏輯性。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

伏筆是文學(xué)作品中在上文看似無關(guān)緊要的事或物，但對下文將要出現(xiàn)的人物或事件預(yù)先做出的某種提示或暗示，以求前后呼應(yīng)達到結(jié)構(gòu)嚴謹、情節(jié)合理的效果。伏筆為故事的展開服務(wù)，經(jīng)常零星散落在文中，不易發(fā)覺。因此，考生在閱讀時應(yīng)站在作者的角度解讀原文，從文本中發(fā)現(xiàn)伏筆，續(xù)寫時及時照應(yīng)，從而確保續(xù)寫情節(jié)與原文保持邏輯一致?？忌绾尾拍芫珳实卣页觥皾摲痹谖闹械姆P呢？以下是幾種常見的方式。

1.把握故事背景與故事情節(jié)，捕捉可續(xù)寫點

讀后續(xù)寫文本以記敘文為主，考生可以通過列表格清單的方式把握故事的基本要素：時間、地點、人物、事件?；疽厮从车奶囟ū尘昂突厩闆r制約著故事的情節(jié)發(fā)展和走向。因此，通過分析故事或人物背景捕捉續(xù)寫點，考生可以找到故事情節(jié)發(fā)展的大致方向。

2.提煉原文主題，捕捉可續(xù)寫點

主題是文章的靈魂，是對寫人、記事、寫景、狀物等內(nèi)容的概括和提煉，同時也是續(xù)寫的伏筆。考生可以用“何人何時何地做了何事，結(jié)果如何，為什么”的句式概括主題，緊扣原文思想。續(xù)寫時照應(yīng)主題，結(jié)尾時升華主題。

3.抓住高頻詞，捕捉可續(xù)寫點

高頻詞指在原文中多次出現(xiàn)并與情節(jié)相關(guān)聯(lián)的詞。原文中的高頻詞通常直指特定物品或場景，看似無關(guān)緊要，有時卻能對助推情節(jié)起到畫龍點睛的作用。考生可以通過做標注留意高頻詞，并在續(xù)寫時適時照應(yīng)，使續(xù)寫段落在內(nèi)容和邏輯上與原文更融洽。

4.留意細節(jié)描寫，捕捉可續(xù)寫點

續(xù)寫中可用作伏筆的細節(jié)描寫主要有語言描寫、動作描寫、心理描寫、環(huán)境描寫、情感描寫等。描寫對象可以是人，也可以是物或場景。細節(jié)蘊藏玄機，能做鋪墊，推動故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展?？忌陂喿x原文時要善于體會細節(jié)背后的用意，捕捉特定細節(jié)并在續(xù)寫時予以照應(yīng)。

5.品讀續(xù)寫段首句，捕捉可續(xù)寫點

讀后續(xù)寫并不是任由考生隨心所欲地發(fā)揮想象力，而是要在續(xù)寫段落開頭語的約束下完成創(chuàng)作，因此段首句必有伏筆?？忌梢酝ㄟ^仔細研讀兩個段首句，捕捉關(guān)鍵詞作為續(xù)寫點，推動情節(jié)發(fā)展，建構(gòu)首尾呼應(yīng)的完整的故事情節(jié)。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

Music has always been an essential part of my family.As a little girl, I often watched my mom singing with others in the church.As I grew older, she and I would sing while we did the dishes or hung clothes.My brother Dean was also a musical soul.In good time or in bad, there was always music in our house.It shaped us, comforted us, and gave us a way to express feelings that might otherwise have gone unspoken.

After Dean became a father, we learned that his oldest son was on the autism (孤獨癥)spectrum.My nephew Dj did not handle social situations well, and sometimes it was even a struggle for him to speak aloud outside the family.He worked very hard to overcome his fears so that he decided he wanted to be part of a music program with the other children in his Sunday school class when he was eight years old.The part he had been offered was one that required him to sing a verse all on his own—a solo.

My brother carefully explained to him that this would mean singing in front of the audience.There would be no one singing with him.Dj considered this very carefully.After a couple of days, he decided that he would accept the part.He explained to us that he believed he could do it because it was a very special occasion, and he would practice until he was as perfect as he could be.He said he knew his daddy would help him to be the best singer possible.

For over a month, he and his father practiced together.Every evening would find them locked away in the music room, my brother on guitar, and my nephew's small voice coming from somewhere deep down inside his little body.He gained confidence, and when the day of the concert arrived, he was certain all would go well.My brother waited backstage, giving Dj double thumbs-up, and he came out to sit with the rest of the family to watch and take photos.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

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When it was finally time for Dj to sing,the music played on,and he froze.____________

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Everyone turned to see who was singing,while I knew it was my brother._____________

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一、梳理故事背景

作者的侄子Dj 自幼患有孤獨癥，不善于社交，有時甚至害怕在家庭之外的地方大聲說話。但他在爸爸的鼓勵和陪伴下，努力克服自己的恐懼，終于決定在音樂會進行個人表演。

背景? Time: on the day of the concert? Place: in the concert hall? Characters: my nephew Dj, my brother, my mom and I? Setting: My nephew was on the autism spectrum but he decided to perform a song on his own._______? Point of view: the third-person point____________________________________________of_view

二、厘清故事情節(jié)

三、捕捉續(xù)寫點

續(xù)寫點 伏筆語言 解析 照應(yīng)方式__________故事背景家庭氛圍影響個人品質(zhì)，從而影響個人行為，暗示一家人會通過音樂了解彼此。故事情節(jié)music, an essential part of my family, in good time or in bad,shaped us, comforted us, a way to express feelings that might have gone unspoken___________________________autism spectrum, did not handle social situations well,a struggle, to speak aloud________outside the family sing all on his own, believed he could do, practice until he was as perfect as he could be,knew his daddy would help him, for over a month, practice________together, gained confidence個人背景伏筆，暗示Dj 表演時可能出現(xiàn)怯場、恐懼到無法獨立完成表演等情況。________情節(jié)伏筆塑造更豐富、立體的人物形象，暗示Dj 勇于挑戰(zhàn)自我、勤奮、堅持，暗示爸爸對兒子充滿關(guān)愛，會堅持陪伴他完成挑戰(zhàn)。________原文主題Music shaped us, comforted us, and gave us a way to express feelings that might otherwise have gone unspoken.It did help my nephew Dj to overcome his fear.音樂的作用和家人的陪伴幫助患有孤獨癥的侄子克服恐懼。在進行續(xù)寫時應(yīng)緊扣主題，結(jié)尾時更要突出爸爸以音樂帶動兒子突破了自己。第二段結(jié)尾照應(yīng)：I knew at that time no words needed to be spoken.The understanding between us had already flowed through the song Dj had sung.___第一段開頭照應(yīng)：His little face grew pale, and we could see the panic in his eyes as the silence grew.___________第二段開頭照應(yīng)：Dean's encouragement had an influence on Dj.His face began to light up, and his eyes began to sparkle.He opened his mouth and began to sing along.________第二段結(jié)尾照應(yīng)：I turned to find my brother giving Dj a double thumbs-up, with tears swelling in his eyes.I knew at that time no words needed to be spoken.The understanding between us had already flowed through the song Dj had sung.

（續(xù)表）

參考范文

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When it was finally time for Dj to sing,the music played on,and he froze.His little face grew pale, and we could see the panic in his eyes as the silence grew.The pianist started the music again but still nothing came out.The entire audience seemed to lean forward in expectation.The silence seemed enormous.The whole family of us were all staring at our little boy, hoping he would cheer up and act out his part.Then the pianist started over again, and a low voice filled the air, singing the song.Paragraph 2:

Everyone turned to see who was singing,while I knew it was my brother.Dean's encouragement had an influence on Dj.His face began to light up, and his eyes began to sparkle.He opened his mouth and began to sing along, his little voice growing stronger with each word.The show ended with thunderous applause, with the kids bowing dramatically,accepting their praise for a job well done.I turned to find my brother giving Dj a double thumbs-up, with tears swelling in his eyes.I knew at that time no words needed to be spoken.The understanding between us had already flowed through the song Dj had sung.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

During my school days, whenever I was asked to write an essay (文章) about brave people and their brave deeds, I always focused on heroes in news reports risking their lives to save others.But from that day on, I could write how my mom, in her determined way,saved our elderly neighbor.

The event that stands out in my memory happened one morning when I was only 10 years old.I was doing my homework when I heard raised voices.At first, I thought nothing of it since customers in the motorcycle shop directly below our flat often became loud, but I soon realized this time it was different.

“Quick! Quick! Remove the motorcycles from the shop,” someone yelled.Then a thick burning smell filled the air.When I opened the front door of our flat to have a look outside,a thick cloud of smoke, billowing (涌出) up from the ground floor, greeted me.It hit me that the motorcycle shop had caught fire.

My mom, who had been working in the kitchen, hurried to the living room.We rushed out of the door and along the corridor (走廊) through the smoke.We were heading towards the stairway at the far end of the corridor when Mom stopped and thought for a while.She turned around and headed back the way we came.Puzzled but having no idea what she was doing, I followed her.

It became clear soon that Mom had remembered the Korean lady in her 70s living next door to us whom we called Jane.Mom began banging on the door, but got no answer.As the smoke thickened around us, I could see many of our neighbors—some still in their pyjamas(睡衣)—running for safety.The thought of fear crossed my mind.

“She must have already run for safety like everyone else! Let's rush downstairs!” I begged.But Mom refused to give up.“I know Jane's still inside.” She said she was familiar with Jane's daily routine and was certain she would still be sleeping.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

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I noticed the flame was reaching up._________________________________________

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Luckily,some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help.______________________

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【評價導(dǎo)思】

1.你續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容是否緊扣文章主題？你又是如何回應(yīng)主題的？

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2.續(xù)寫這篇文章的時候，你找到了哪些可續(xù)寫點？你是如何照應(yīng)這些可續(xù)寫點的？

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3.在結(jié)尾升華時，你有沒有寫出讓人感動的帶有哲理性的句子？

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