Last week, our school organized a trip to the park. It is so memorable that I still feel excited when I recall it.
To get to the park as fast as possible, we took the bus instead of walking there. As soon as we got off the bus, we saw a big park gate which was decorated with colorful flowers. After wandering around the park, we decided to have a picnic. We sat on the grass, enjoying the delicious food and the beautiful nature view. What’s more, we also climbed the mountain to enjoy the fresh air. Finally, we went back to school.
Although time went fast, I had a good time there. This activity not only enables me to embrace the nature closely, but also gives me a chance to relax from the heavy schoolwork. How meaningful it is!
河南省鄭州金桂中學
指導老師 盧 婷
點 評
文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,銜接自然流暢。第一段自然點題,第二段對到公園的學校旅行進行了生動形象的描述,最后一段總結(jié)全文,闡明此次旅行的意義和“我”的感悟。其中,好詞好句也應用自如,如“memorable”“ as fast as possible”“instead of”“decorated with”“not only... but also...”“embrace the nature”等,運用非常靈活,值得借鑒。