李永紅

(山東省淄博實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué))

本人有幸參加了今年的山東省高考書面表達(dá)閱卷，了解到了一些書面表達(dá)的評(píng)分細(xì)則和注意事項(xiàng)，注意到了一些弊端和問題，由此想到了一些書面表達(dá)備考中的重難點(diǎn)及寫作中的策略，記錄下來共享讀者。

一、高考英語(yǔ)書面表達(dá)評(píng)分細(xì)則

二、注意事項(xiàng)

評(píng)分時(shí)，現(xiàn)根據(jù)文章的內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言初步確定是否及格線。

詞數(shù)少于120，從應(yīng)得分中減去2分。關(guān)于大錯(cuò)、小錯(cuò)的問題：

小錯(cuò)：?jiǎn)卧~拼寫、冠詞、大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)錯(cuò)誤。

大錯(cuò)：搭配錯(cuò)誤、詞語(yǔ)用錯(cuò)（介詞、名詞、動(dòng)詞、形容詞、副詞）、時(shí)態(tài)、語(yǔ)態(tài)、主謂一致、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞、句式等錯(cuò)誤。

三、專家所給的幾個(gè)樣板分

(1)

I am sorry to tell you that our plan to visit Beijing next weekend has to be delayed because I have an activity of great significance to take part in.

Word came that the Student Union of my school is going to hold an activity which aims to encourage citizens to lead a low-carbon life on the next weekend.Nowadays,it’s exactly too much emission of greenhouse gases that causes the greenhouse effect and does serious damage to the environment.As a consequence,I think it’s quite necessary to spread the benefits of low-carbon life.What’s more,although travelling is an excellent idea,if I missed the opportunity,I’ll regret in a long time.

However,we can carry out our plan on the first weekend of next month.What about your opinion?

Look forward to your reply.

(專家點(diǎn)評(píng)：有虛擬，語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)復(fù)雜。得分28)

(2)

I’m so sorry to tell you that I can’t go on the trip to Beijing with you next weekend.It’s a pity that I can’t go with you.I had been so excited about it.But now,I can’t do it.

Next weekend,my school has a very im-portant activity.Many old students of my school will come to see the change of their mother school.As the master of my class,I have to attend the activity to guard them around my school and tell them the new things in my school.After these,I will have lunch with them.

How about going to Beijing another time?How about the coming summer holiday?During the holiday we have more time to enjoy the beautiful city,please write to me soon if you agree.(22分)

(3)

I will talk something to you.You can’t feel very happy.Next Sunday we should go a trip to Beijing,but next sunday I have something to do.I’m sorry to.I can’t go a trip,but something must be done.

As the matter of fact,my sister had a baby.He only have two years old,next Sunday my sister is busy to do work,she doesn’t have any time.So I have to help her.I must look after her baby.I will try my best to help my sister.I think do this thing is very hard,because many babys often cry.I don’t know how to do.

Next Sunday I doesn’t have more time,so we can’t go a trip.This Sunday!Do you have more time?if you have,we can go a trip on this Sunday.Can you?

(專家給分：14 分)

四、閱卷中發(fā)現(xiàn)的問題和不利因素

學(xué)生寫作中的一些問題：

1.洋洋灑灑型。一些學(xué)生洋洋灑灑寫了很多失約的理由，甚至扯到了世博，然而題目要求的三個(gè)要點(diǎn)只表達(dá)了兩個(gè)，或者一個(gè)，失分較多，直接就不及格了。語(yǔ)言要是再有點(diǎn)問題，那就得分很低了。

2.錯(cuò)誤百出型。有些文章要點(diǎn)全有，但是語(yǔ)句錯(cuò)誤百出，如果錯(cuò)的只是單詞拼寫、冠詞、大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)等較小錯(cuò)誤倒是扣分不多，及格還是能撈回來的。但如果是大錯(cuò)，如搭配錯(cuò)誤、詞語(yǔ)用錯(cuò)（介詞、名詞、動(dòng)詞、形容詞、副詞）、時(shí)態(tài)、語(yǔ)態(tài)、主謂一致、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞、句式等錯(cuò)誤，那分?jǐn)?shù)就會(huì)被從及格分以上扣到及格分以下了。

3.平淡無味型。大多數(shù)的文章屬于這個(gè)類型，要點(diǎn)也夠了，語(yǔ)言也沒有大錯(cuò)，但是所寫內(nèi)容就和便條一樣，所給的失約理由尋找得不當(dāng)。導(dǎo)致語(yǔ)言無味，所學(xué)高級(jí)詞匯和句式用不上，更有甚者，詞數(shù)就不能達(dá)到要求，這樣就只能是及格分左右了。

雙頻閱卷對(duì)學(xué)生的不利方面：

雙頻制度讓高分凸顯機(jī)會(huì)大大減少。雖然雙頻閱卷挽救了一些中等層次分?jǐn)?shù)被誤判的可能性，避免了一些不合理現(xiàn)象。但它也同時(shí)將高分試卷凸顯的概率降低了。如上面兩那篇專家給的28分文章如果放到實(shí)際閱卷過程中去，要想得到28分概率卻很低，因?yàn)殡p頻閱卷?xiàng)l件下，學(xué)生作文的最后得分是一頻和二頻得分在差距不超過六分的情況下的平均值。凡是超過6分（含6分）就投入三頻閱卷，三頻閱讀的分?jǐn)?shù)接近的那個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)有效，另一個(gè)差值大的成為無效勞動(dòng)。這樣一來如果一頻給得比較靠近真實(shí)分?jǐn)?shù)是28，那么二頻有可能給這樣幾個(gè)有效分?jǐn)?shù)23，24，25，26，27，28，（29 大家都不敢給，那是要接受審查的，在保險(xiǎn)心理作用下，很多老師寧可少給一分）,而這幾個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)中，只有二頻也給28，學(xué)生才能得到這個(gè)真實(shí)分?jǐn)?shù)。而這個(gè)概率大家都看得到，不到20%。還有一種可能，如果一頻也給得保守，那么這個(gè)真實(shí)分?jǐn)?shù)學(xué)生就完全沒有可能得到了。綜合起來，學(xué)生得到這個(gè)真實(shí)分?jǐn)?shù)的可能就只有5%了。

所以，這就要求我們更多關(guān)注高分突破的策略，以博得兩頻老師的歡心了。

五、書面表達(dá)得分策略

高考書面表達(dá)閱卷一般不會(huì)輕易給0分和30分的滿分，除掉這兩個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)，13，18，23這三個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)是很重要的三個(gè)分水嶺，當(dāng)然低分就沒有研究?jī)r(jià)值了，關(guān)于高分突破，本人總結(jié)了如下幾點(diǎn)供大家參考。

(一)“全、準(zhǔn)、高”是三個(gè)境界

全，即要點(diǎn)要全。只要具備了作文要求的三個(gè)內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，就可以得到及格分18分，但是如果表達(dá)中硬傷太多，還是要適當(dāng)扣分的。詞數(shù)不夠也會(huì)在此基礎(chǔ)上扣掉2分。

準(zhǔn)，即表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確。如果三個(gè)內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)都全了，表達(dá)也準(zhǔn)確，可得到上到第二個(gè)臺(tái)階23分。

高，即表達(dá)中有復(fù)雜句式，高級(jí)詞匯。如果做到了全準(zhǔn)高這三點(diǎn)作文要得到26-29就沒有什么問題了。

(二)突破23分的招數(shù)

尋找合適的話題契機(jī)是關(guān)鍵。這個(gè)話題契機(jī)是自己尋找的，自己創(chuàng)作的基點(diǎn)，它要便于自己的行文發(fā)展有話可說，便于自己展現(xiàn)自己的文采，便于插入高級(jí)句式的表達(dá)。做好這一步等于搭好樓臺(tái)框架。對(duì)于多數(shù)學(xué)生來說他們需要克服“創(chuàng)作即是撒謊”的心理陰影。旅美學(xué)者祁壽華曾說“廣義地說，創(chuàng)造活動(dòng)貫穿于寫作的全過程。寫作本身就是一種創(chuàng)造！ ”行動(dòng)(action)，行動(dòng)者(actors)，環(huán)境(setting)，動(dòng)機(jī)(motive)，方法(method)這 5 個(gè)成分是戲劇和許多文學(xué)作品的基本要素，借用在寫作上，則是個(gè)很有成效的寫作方法。我們的學(xué)生往往沒有找到合適的環(huán)境，即沒有找到合適的話題契機(jī)。從而其創(chuàng)作過程受阻。

行文準(zhǔn)確流暢是得分的根本。這要求我們平時(shí)打好文法基礎(chǔ)，考試時(shí)也要再三檢查將錯(cuò)誤減少到最少。

靈活使用高級(jí)句式是得高分的依據(jù)。靈活準(zhǔn)確使用倒裝、虛擬、主從復(fù)合句（包括定語(yǔ)從句、主語(yǔ)從句、狀語(yǔ)從句、同位語(yǔ)從句等）、非謂語(yǔ)、獨(dú)立主格到自己的文章中是吸引老師眼球拔高老師視線的彩球。

六、佳作舉例（文中有些許小錯(cuò)未加修改）

A

I am writing to apologize to you for my being absent from our travel to Beijing next weekend.It is because something important suddenly happened and I can’t get away from it.So I have to say sorry to you.

Do you remember the earthquake that hit Qinghai Province?Because of the great damage it caused,people there are now leading a hard life.Many poor people there don’t have any shelters and even have to sleep in the open air.Having no electricity and basic facilities,they are in bad conditions that are beyond our imagination.After hearing the news,our school is going to launch a campaign.Next weekend,we will go outside the school and appeal to passers-by to raise money for the reconstruction in Qinghai.

Well,all in all,that’s why I have to put off our appointment.Hope you can accept my apology.Actually,I don’t want to miss so wonderful a travel with you.what about going to Beijing next month.

Look forward to your reply.

B

Although having longed for the trip to Beijing for a long time,I am particularly sorry to tell you that the appointment will be cancelled or the following reasons.

I am going to be more than busy next week.With the exam approaching,I have to concentrate on my attentions to prepare for it.Besides,next weekends our class will have an English speech about leading low carbon life style.I have signed up for it early.So busy I am that I can’t accompany you to visit Beijing next weekend.

However,don’t lower your spirit and please cheer up.Once I have finished those complex tasks,we can have another plan to Beijing.We might as well date the time for the next month.As for the clear time,I will immediately announce you after getting a good idea to my plan.

Wish you have a good time every day and make progress in your study.Don’t forget to keep in touch with me when you have free time.

Best wishes!

[1]山東省閱卷評(píng)分細(xì)則[M].2010.

[2]祁壽華.西方寫作理論、教學(xué)與實(shí)踐[M].上海：上海外語(yǔ)教育出版社，2000.