高山
我們說,這是你的葬禮,
但實(shí)際上不是。
葬禮是為活人舉辦的。
詹妮和她的兄弟姐妹
將父親的骨灰裝在獵槍子彈里
射向落基山莊西邊的
茫茫荒野。
尼杰爾和他的姐妹
請(qǐng)船員幫他們找一把掃帚,
把他們母親的骨灰
從溫哥華與維多利亞輪渡的甲板上掃起,
因?yàn)閯偛湃龉腔視r(shí)風(fēng)向突變。
沒有人問骨灰。
骨灰的所思所想再也不重要了。
在你的葬禮上,
我們將圍成一圈,說
這個(gè)老家伙就這樣走了,真是不走運(yùn)啊。
你說你會(huì)腳先出來
很可能會(huì)——
你又開始注意家里的擺設(shè),
但現(xiàn)在你關(guān)注的是漸次腐爛的屋頂,
不斷下沉的臺(tái)階,
失效的保險(xiǎn)單,
磨毛的綠色地毯。
這些是你死了也要留著的東西。
繞在你四周的房子和你一起下沉。
每次我們?nèi)タ茨悖?/p>
你都會(huì)排練一下你的葬禮安排。
你和我們說過
你希望的安葬地和安葬方式。
現(xiàn)在,告訴我們其中的原因吧。
Its Your Funeral
Its your funeral, we say,
but its not.
Funerals are for the living.
Jannie and her brothers and sisters
packed their fathers ashes in shotgun shells
and fired them into the wilderness
west of Rocky Mountain House.
Nigel and his sisters
asked the crew for a broom
to sweep their mothers ashes
from the deck of the Vancouver-Victoria ferry
when the wind shifted while scattering.
No one asked the ashes.
What they wanted no longer signified.
At your funeral,
well stand around and say
Too bad the old guy let it slip away.
You say youll go out feet first,
and probably will—
House-proud again,
but now of rotting shingles,
sagging steps,
lapsed insurance
green shag carpet.
These things youre dying to keep.
The house sags around and with you.
Each time we visit
you rehearse your funeral plans.
Youve told us how and where
you want to be buried.
Now tell us why.endprint