◆南京航空航天大學(xué)附屬高級(jí)中學(xué) 沈偉

從2021年起，江蘇高考將采用全國(guó)卷，書面表達(dá)部分將改為兩節(jié)：第一節(jié)為應(yīng)用文，第二節(jié)為讀后續(xù)寫或概要寫作。我們今天著重指導(dǎo)同學(xué)們?nèi)绾芜M(jìn)行讀后續(xù)寫。

《普通高等學(xué)校招生全國(guó)統(tǒng)一考試英語(yǔ)科考試說明（高考綜合改革試驗(yàn)省份試用）（第一版）》（以下簡(jiǎn)稱《考試說明》）對(duì)“讀后續(xù)寫”的具體要求如下：提供一段350詞以內(nèi)的語(yǔ)言材料，要求考生依據(jù)該材料內(nèi)容、所給段落開頭語(yǔ)和所標(biāo)示關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行續(xù)寫（150詞左右），將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。下面我們以2018年6月的浙江英語(yǔ)高考題為例，指導(dǎo)同學(xué)們?nèi)绾瓮瓿勺x后續(xù)寫任務(wù)。

【原題復(fù)現(xiàn)】

第二節(jié) 讀后續(xù)寫（滿分25分）

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

It was summer, and my dad wanted to treat me to a vacation like never before.He decided to take me on a trip to the Wild West.

We took a plane to Albuquerque, a big city in the state of New Mexico.We reached Albuquerque in the late afternoon.Uncle Paul, my dad’s friend, picked us up from the airport and drove us up to his farm in Pecos.

His wife Tina cooked us a delicious dinner and we got to know his sons Ryan and Kyle.My dad and I spent the night in the guestroom of the farm house listening to the frogs and water rolling down the river nearby.Very early in the morning, Uncle Paul woke us up to have breakfast.“The day starts at dawn on my farm,” he said.After breakfast, I went to help Aunt Tina feed the chickens, while my dad went with Uncle Paul to take the sheep out to graze (吃草).I was impressed to see my dad and Uncle Paul riding horses.They looked really cool.

In the afternoon, I asked Uncle Paul if I could take a horse ride, and he said yes, as long as my dad went with me.I wasn’t going to take a horse ride by myself anyway.So, my dad and I put on our new cowboy hats, got on our horses, and headed slowly towards the mountains.“Don’t be late for supper,” Uncle Paul cried, “and keep to the track so that you don’t get lost!” “OK!” my dad cried back.After a while Uncle Paul and his farm house were out of sight.It was so peaceful and quiet and the colours of the brown rocks, the deep green pine trees, and the late afternoon sun mixed to create a magic scene.It looked like a beautiful woven (編織的)blanket spread out upon the ground just for us.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.至少使用5個(gè)短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。

Paragraph 1：Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse.

Paragraph 2：We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.

【寫作指導(dǎo)】

整個(gè)寫作可以按三個(gè)步驟進(jìn)行：

1.分析所給材料，歸納文本大意

原文材料多為記敘文，從敘事要素出發(fā)，我們可以先找出基本要素，歸納文章大意并梳理邏輯關(guān)系。

敘事要素 你的答案人物(characters)I, Dad, Uncle Paul, Tina...時(shí)間(time)summer vacation, afternoon地點(diǎn)(place)on a farm, New Mexico, the Wild West情節(jié)(plot)During summer, Dad and I went on vacation, to Uncle Paul’s farm.We took a horse ride...主題(topic)adventure, nature, vacation...

本文大意為，暑假里“爸爸”帶“我”到西部農(nóng)場(chǎng)保羅叔叔家里。農(nóng)場(chǎng)上的自然風(fēng)光很美，蒂娜阿姨用美食款待我們?！拔摇闭?qǐng)求保羅叔叔允許“我”出去騎騎馬。保羅叔叔要求“爸爸”陪同“我”去，并囑咐“我們”要沿著大路走，否則會(huì)迷路。于是“我們”就出發(fā)了。

文章中重要的提示性內(nèi)容，希望同學(xué)們用波浪線標(biāo)記。例如，保羅叔叔的囑咐暗示了山路可能比較復(fù)雜，容易迷路等等。剛開始接觸這種題型，大家可能不容易找到提示。不用太擔(dān)心，通過不斷的訓(xùn)練，同學(xué)們會(huì)對(duì)提示內(nèi)容更加敏感。

2.分析下劃線詞，初步設(shè)定用法

下劃線詞組是寫作的重要提示，必須給予足夠的重視。至少5個(gè)下劃線關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)，能夠保障同學(xué)們扣住主題。如下圖是某位同學(xué)的分析：

根據(jù)劃線詞的提示，續(xù)寫中人物應(yīng)包括“爸爸”和保羅叔叔。至于其他幾個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞，如河流、羊群、農(nóng)場(chǎng)小屋等，可以是風(fēng)景，也可以是找路的提示。原文的一個(gè)語(yǔ)言特點(diǎn)是風(fēng)景描寫（陰影標(biāo)出），除了考慮續(xù)寫內(nèi)容，還要在語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格方面盡可能保持一致，續(xù)寫中也應(yīng)描寫景色，盡量用詞優(yōu)美，像原文那樣令人心曠心怡。

同學(xué)們不要輕視小詞，而要學(xué)著玩味，思考它為什么會(huì)被選為劃線詞。如“l(fā)ate”, 原文中保羅叔叔囑咐我們晚飯別遲，既是禮貌，也是時(shí)間的暗示，是對(duì)續(xù)寫部分進(jìn)行暗示：山路復(fù)雜，他擔(dān)心我們迷路，叮囑我們不要太晚回來?？紤]到這一層，你的續(xù)寫中就有了很好的呼應(yīng)點(diǎn)：時(shí)間太遲，保羅叔叔出于擔(dān)心來找我們，或者天色漸晚增添緊張氣氛，又或者視線隨著暮色降臨變差，所以找不到路等等。同學(xué)們不妨發(fā)散思維，適當(dāng)聯(lián)想。

3.分析段落開頭，確定情節(jié)梗概

同學(xué)們除了細(xì)讀材料，也要抓住所給開頭的提示。

Paragraph 1:Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse.

Paragraph 2:We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.

波浪線的部分其實(shí)是續(xù)寫的中心內(nèi)容。如果同學(xué)們沒有抓住“迷路”這一點(diǎn)，你的續(xù)寫就跑題了。第一段開頭“突然一只兔子跳到了我的馬前”。作用是什么呢？聯(lián)系主題，應(yīng)該把這只兔子的意外出現(xiàn)理解為迷路的誘因，即小兔子吸引“我”離開了主路。第一段的結(jié)尾處就要體現(xiàn)迷路，才能和第二段開頭自然銜接，而第二段再繼續(xù)講迷路之后的情節(jié)和感受。如果你的思路打不開，不妨順著以下的問題鏈，開始頭腦風(fēng)暴吧！

以上步驟能夠幫助同學(xué)們理出情節(jié)和感受兩條主線，捕捉提示信息。下面是一份浙江省高考滿分作文，供大家參考。

Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse.It was so cute that I was completely attracted by it.It jumped and ate along the way and we decided to follow it.The clouds were drifting in the sky and the river was flowing peacefully.Everything was bathed in the setting sun and we were spellbound by the breath-taking scenery.Abruptly, the rabbit was gone before we realized it.What’s worse, we desperately found we had got lost.

We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.Minutes ticked away and it was getting late.Sheep were nowhere to be found.Everything began to disappear in the dark.Don’t panic.My dad comforted me and we started to search for the track.Luckily, there was a faint cry from a distance.That is Uncle Paul! My heart was pounding wildly with excitement.We tried our best to recognize the direction and then headed for it.Several minutes later, the farm house came into our sight and we were all relieved.In the end, that day became a really thrilling but joyful memory in my mind.

這篇作文準(zhǔn)確地抓住了內(nèi)容和情感兩條線，和原文多處呼應(yīng)。對(duì)自然景色的描寫十分有吸引力，用詞地道，句式高級(jí)，亮點(diǎn)頗多。

另外，我們請(qǐng)高考閱卷老師總結(jié)了當(dāng)年考生失分點(diǎn)，并提出建議：

① 續(xù)寫應(yīng)以敘事為主。很多考生的續(xù)寫中對(duì)話太多，文章銜接會(huì)較弱；

② 詞匯對(duì)正確理解原文很關(guān)鍵，如不少學(xué)生看不懂track，直接導(dǎo)致跑題。

③ 考生的審題能力薄弱。有些學(xué)生甚至不明白第二段首句中的we指代誰，寫成“我”一個(gè)人迷路或保羅叔叔甚至他一家人和“我”一起迷路。

④ 考生的語(yǔ)言普遍較乏味，缺少文采。建議同學(xué)們平時(shí)從寫對(duì)句子開始，多欣賞模仿原汁原味的佳句，老師加強(qiáng)情景應(yīng)用指導(dǎo)。高分作文的用詞和句式都很高級(jí)。建議同學(xué)們多摘抄描述性語(yǔ)言，并在日常寫作中積極運(yùn)用，以求內(nèi)化。

⑤ 主題不過分拔高。續(xù)寫中可以考慮以具體細(xì)節(jié)表達(dá)諸如父愛、熱愛自然、體驗(yàn)生存等主題。但是切忌為寫而寫。

⑥ 功夫在平時(shí)。同學(xué)們應(yīng)重視文學(xué)作品的學(xué)習(xí)，賞析語(yǔ)言。