湖北 范華平

新高考模式下，英語試卷題量大、書面表達(dá)權(quán)重高，學(xué)生倍感時(shí)間緊。英語教師越來越意識(shí)到：在常規(guī)英語教學(xué)任務(wù)中，寫作不得不提上議事日程。寫作既要限時(shí)成文，又要質(zhì)量尚佳，這無疑都需要教師對(duì)學(xué)生進(jìn)行有效的引導(dǎo)和訓(xùn)練。教師如何讓學(xué)生最大限度地在課堂上完成讀寫任務(wù)，讓寫作教學(xué)任務(wù)真實(shí)發(fā)生，有生成性文本的輸出，讓學(xué)生獲得成就感，讓自己獲得價(jià)值感？這需要教師轉(zhuǎn)變教學(xué)理念，順勢(shì)而為、積極作為，只有這樣才能幫助學(xué)生從容應(yīng)對(duì)新高考。

讀后續(xù)寫要求學(xué)生閱讀一篇350詞左右的文本，該文本故事在高潮處戛然而止，沖突亟待解決。該題型充分融讀寫于一體，將模仿與創(chuàng)新緊密結(jié)合，伴有前文語境，有可模仿的語言樣板，有內(nèi)容可作創(chuàng)新依據(jù)，能使學(xué)生在真實(shí)語境中發(fā)揮想象、合理創(chuàng)造、續(xù)出新篇章。葛炳芳提到：“在讀后續(xù)寫中應(yīng)提倡為內(nèi)容而讀，為思維而教，為語言而學(xué)?！惫P者在本文中結(jié)合2021年浙江十校10月聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫試題，從內(nèi)容、思維和語言三個(gè)方面提出如何快速有效地進(jìn)行讀后續(xù)寫，使學(xué)生在續(xù)寫時(shí)，做到內(nèi)容合理、思維縝密、語言豐富。

【2021年浙江十校10月聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫試題】

One Saturday morning when Susan went,as usual,to Thompson’s hotel,to receive the price of her mother’s washing for the guests,which amounted to five dollars,she found the hotelkeeper in the yard.

He was apparently in a bad temper with some dealers with whom he had been bargaining.He held in his hand an open wallet,full of bills.Hardly noticing the child as she made her request,except to swear（罵罵咧咧）at her for troubling him when he was busy,he handed her a bank note.

Glad to escape so easily,Susan rushed out of the gate,and then,pausing to pin the money safely in the folds of her worn scarf,she discovered that he had given her two bills instead of one.She looked around.Nobody was near to share her discovery,and her first impulse was joy at the unexpected prize.

“It is mine,all mine,”she murmured.“I will buy mother a new coat with it,and she can give her old one to sister Mary,and then Mary can go to the Sunday school with me next winter.I wonder if it will buy a pair of shoes for brother Tom,too.”

At that moment she realized that the hotelkeeper must have given it to her by mistake,and therefore she had no right to it,as she was always told by her mother the Golden Rule —What belongs to you is yours,and what doesn’t belong to you should not be accepted.

But again the voice of temptation whispered,“He gave it,and how do you know that he did not intend to make you a present of it? Keep it;he will never know it,even if it should be a mistake;he had too many such bills in that great wallet,so it doesn’t matter if missing one.”While this conflict was going on in her mind between good and evil,she was hurrying homeward as fast as possible.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.至少使用5個(gè)短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。

Paragraph 1:

Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

The hotelkeeper looked at Susan._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

一、讀思情節(jié)“四部曲”——為內(nèi)容而讀，為思維而教

閱讀是讀后續(xù)寫教學(xué)中的關(guān)鍵環(huán)節(jié)。學(xué)生只有在準(zhǔn)確理解讀后續(xù)寫原文的基礎(chǔ)上，才有可能運(yùn)用自身的創(chuàng)新性思維以及發(fā)散性思維合情合理地續(xù)寫。在閱讀教學(xué)的過程中，筆者按照記敘文的六要素，整合概括出讀思情節(jié)“四部曲”，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生讀懂并畫出前文情節(jié)中的有用信息及后文要契合的關(guān)照點(diǎn)，從而幫助學(xué)生厘清寫作思路。

（一）“四部曲”的內(nèi)容

1.一個(gè)主旨 ——positive theme：instructive,interesting

讀后續(xù)寫作為高考英語的新題型，凸顯了核心素養(yǎng)的要求，進(jìn)一步回答了培養(yǎng)什么樣的人、如何培養(yǎng)人的問題，因而，讀后續(xù)寫中矛盾沖突的解決常常能反映出學(xué)生的人生觀和價(jià)值觀，這就要求學(xué)生在續(xù)寫文本時(shí)應(yīng)注意：續(xù)寫的情節(jié)應(yīng)體現(xiàn)正確的人生觀和價(jià)值觀，即續(xù)寫內(nèi)容具有指導(dǎo)意義（instructive）；學(xué)生也可以描寫主人公有趣的人生體驗(yàn)，即趣味性（interesting）。積極主旨（positive theme）的闡述常伴隨著情感變化（emotional changes），故事人物尤其是主人公常會(huì)在發(fā)生沖突時(shí)首先表現(xiàn)出消極的情緒 (worry，nervousness，disappointment，anger，shyness，fear...)，隨著故事的發(fā)展和矛盾沖突的解決，其情緒會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榉e極情緒（relief，delight，understanding，excitement，happiness，pride，a sense of achievement...）。

2.兩條線——時(shí)空線

學(xué)生在續(xù)寫時(shí)要查看續(xù)寫內(nèi)容在時(shí)空上有沒有大變化，如室內(nèi)或室外、白天黑夜的交替、季節(jié)更迭，避免出現(xiàn)前后文內(nèi)容不吻合的問題。

3.三處伏筆

學(xué)生閱讀時(shí)可以畫出原文中的伏筆，這些伏筆會(huì)給學(xué)生提供續(xù)寫思路，學(xué)生在續(xù)寫的過程中可以有意復(fù)現(xiàn)它們，以提醒自己寫作時(shí)圍繞主旨。如何確定哪些是伏筆呢？筆者常常通過主旨詞、復(fù)現(xiàn)詞或閱讀時(shí)讓人靈感乍現(xiàn)的詞匯，以及描寫主人公前后情感的轉(zhuǎn)變、主次人物間的互動(dòng)或?qū)φ?，有特殊意義的事物的相關(guān)句子來確定。

4.四個(gè)情節(jié)

學(xué)生續(xù)寫每個(gè)段落時(shí)可以用倒推的方式構(gòu)思四個(gè)情節(jié)，基礎(chǔ)弱一點(diǎn)的學(xué)生可直接以四個(gè)簡單句呈現(xiàn)續(xù)寫內(nèi)容，圍繞主旨推動(dòng)情節(jié)發(fā)展。

（二）“四部曲”的具體操作

筆者每次在續(xù)寫課的閱讀環(huán)節(jié)，會(huì)給學(xué)生7分鐘的時(shí)間讓其安靜閱讀并完成下面表格。

1.三步精讀明主旨，抓線索

表1：文本情節(jié)六要素

學(xué)生對(duì)表格內(nèi)容的梳理如下：

（1）主旨：honesty，The Golden Rule

（2）時(shí)空跨度（when/where）：One Saturday morning，Thompson’s hotel，way home/back to the hotel

（3）三處伏筆（clues）：主旨詞、復(fù)現(xiàn)詞或讓人靈感乍現(xiàn)的詞匯；描寫人物前后的情感轉(zhuǎn)變、主次人物之間的互動(dòng)或有特殊意義的事物的句子。

honesty:bills/money/present;

hotelkeeper:bad temper→? (soft:gentle/kind);

dealers:bargaining→? (silent,not bargaining)

what前情概要：

Susan went to get her mother’s laundry money from the hotelkeeper,who was busy bargaining with dealers and in bad temper.Later,Susan found he paid her more than expected.Joyful about extra money,she planned how to spend it,but she remembered the Golden Rule told by her mother:honesty.

2.四步巧構(gòu)續(xù)情節(jié)，有互動(dòng)

學(xué)生在了解了前文的情節(jié)之后，應(yīng)根據(jù)要求續(xù)寫的兩段的首句，進(jìn)行合理銜接，預(yù)測(cè)故事發(fā)展的走向，續(xù)寫好情節(jié)。學(xué)生在續(xù)寫時(shí)，應(yīng)主要思考如何圍繞主題，解決前文的矛盾沖突，完成由高潮到結(jié)局的故事敘述。教師可以采取啟發(fā)的方式引導(dǎo)學(xué)生設(shè)問，從而逐步推動(dòng)情節(jié)的發(fā)展。教師也可搭建支架，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生快速成文。

教師在拓展學(xué)生思維時(shí)，可以用“四問法”（“4Q”）推動(dòng)情節(jié)的發(fā)展，續(xù)寫第一段以續(xù)寫第二段與第一段的銜接內(nèi)容為起點(diǎn)，倒推第一段的情節(jié)；續(xù)寫第二段以問題的圓滿解決、正能量的傳遞為宗旨，倒推第二段的故事內(nèi)容。兩段內(nèi)容聚焦主要人物的所看、所聽、所感、所想、所說和所做，以及人物間的互動(dòng)（關(guān)注主次人物之間的交流，盡量不要唱獨(dú)角戲），學(xué)生續(xù)寫時(shí)對(duì)每一段設(shè)四問，圍繞這四問作答，既能凸顯主旨，又能關(guān)照全景，使續(xù)寫文章整體協(xié)調(diào)、情節(jié)合理。

下面以2021年浙江十校10月聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫試題為例，具體闡述如何設(shè)四問。以續(xù)寫第二段的開頭語去銜接續(xù)寫第一段的結(jié)尾處，學(xué)生可以想到續(xù)寫第一段的主要情節(jié)是：旅店老板與女孩見面了。續(xù)寫第一段開頭內(nèi)容為“女孩要到家了，突然停了下來”，針對(duì)這一內(nèi)容可以提出的“四問”如下：

Q1：Why did the girl suddenly stop?

Q2：What did she see or hear?（主要人物所看、所聽）

Q3：How did she feel or think?（所感、所想）

Q4：What did she do?（所做）

續(xù)寫第二段的“四問”以問題的圓滿解決、正能量的傳遞為宗旨，具體為：

Q1：What did the girl say,feel or do？（主要人物所說、所感、所做）

Q2：What did the hotel keeper feel or do?（次要人物的反應(yīng)，人物之間的互動(dòng)）

Q3 ：How did the girl feel after returning the money？（主要人物所感）

Q4：How did the story end up? What did the author hope to convey in the story?（采用自然結(jié)尾式、主旨靚句式、首尾呼應(yīng)式、真情流露式、情景襯托式或智慧雋永式等常見的結(jié)尾方式）

或者，學(xué)生在考場(chǎng)寫作時(shí)，可以構(gòu)建如下的四步倒推法思維導(dǎo)圖，以便簡構(gòu)續(xù)寫的情節(jié)，從而快速成文。

四步倒推法快速成文的思維導(dǎo)圖

筆者仍以2021年浙江十校10月聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫試題為例，談?wù)勅绾我钥焖俪晌牡乃季S導(dǎo)圖巧構(gòu)情節(jié)。在這一步里，教師只關(guān)注情節(jié)的走向，幫助學(xué)生以簡單的語言構(gòu)思合情合理的情節(jié)。

四步倒推法快速成文的思維導(dǎo)圖示例

二、拓展提升三個(gè)“三”——為語言而學(xué)，惟模仿運(yùn)用

學(xué)生合理地續(xù)寫了兩段情節(jié)，適度照應(yīng)原文線索完成續(xù)寫初稿后，接下來，應(yīng)更多地考慮如何加工潤色續(xù)寫初稿的語言，以期在平常的訓(xùn)練中不斷提升自己的綜合語言能力。下面筆者從細(xì)節(jié)描寫、句型拓展和互評(píng)互改三個(gè)方面談一談如何提升學(xué)生的英語語言能力。

（一）情緒動(dòng)作常搭配，栩栩如生有感情

記敘文常會(huì)涉及情緒或動(dòng)作描寫，這兩者結(jié)合可體現(xiàn)英語語言的豐富性，因此學(xué)生可以在兩個(gè)續(xù)寫段落里巧妙貼切地使用它們。筆者將情緒、動(dòng)作描寫的續(xù)寫常用句式歸納為第一個(gè)“三”：

1.表情緒的形容詞或動(dòng)詞+ed表情緒或介賓短語（with +表情緒的名詞；to one’s +表情緒的名詞）...,主句...,動(dòng)詞+ing

2.主句...,with+賓語 +賓補(bǔ)或獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)（邏輯主語+形容詞/介賓短語/非謂語）

3.三連動(dòng)動(dòng)作（想到一個(gè)動(dòng)作后，思考該動(dòng)作之前和之后做了什么并細(xì)化動(dòng)作）：

主語+動(dòng)作1的過去時(shí),動(dòng)作2的過去時(shí) and 動(dòng)作3的過去時(shí)=主語+動(dòng)作1的過去時(shí),動(dòng)作2的現(xiàn)在分詞形式 and 動(dòng)作3的現(xiàn)在分詞形式=主語+動(dòng)作1 and 動(dòng)作2,動(dòng)作3的現(xiàn)在分詞形式

筆者將初稿中的句子升級(jí)，運(yùn)用第一個(gè)“三”的寫作技巧來拓展提升句式。

①Embarrassed,she hesitated at thought of the Golden Rule her mother told her,turning aroundto see the road leading to the hotel andshufflingback.

②“How could I do such a shameful thing?” she said to herself,with her eyes glancing down and her face blushing.

③After returning the bill,she was very excited to go home and share what she did with her mother,her heart dancing with pride/pride swelling inside her.

④On hearing what the girl said,the dealers bargaining bitterlystaredat each otherand silencedat once,separatingtheir own way soon.

我們?cè)僮x原文，發(fā)現(xiàn)原文本以情緒描寫、動(dòng)作描寫、心理活動(dòng)描寫和非謂語見長，上文提到的續(xù)寫方式正與原文本涉及的句式吻合。

（二）句式推敲多變化，多讀多寫悟時(shí)機(jī)

我們?cè)購恼Z言運(yùn)用的維度談一談如何對(duì)初稿進(jìn)行潤色，筆者總結(jié)了用于讀后續(xù)寫的常見句式，即第二個(gè)“三”。仍以初稿為例，豐富貼切地運(yùn)用下列三種句型，有助于學(xué)生靈活地運(yùn)用語言，盡可能地實(shí)現(xiàn)書面表達(dá)句式的多樣化。

1.it句型：轉(zhuǎn)念想，情緒詞，表強(qiáng)調(diào)

想到：It occurred to/dawned on/struck/hit sb.that...情緒：It was incredible/unbelievable/surprising that...It came as a shock/a blow that...

It confused/concerned/delighted us that...

It was no wonder/a relief/a pity/a shame/a wonder/a miracle that ...

It was strange/peculiar/odd that...

強(qiáng)調(diào)：It was +被強(qiáng)調(diào)部分（除謂語不被強(qiáng)調(diào)，其他成分均可強(qiáng)調(diào)）+that...

【例】想到：It occurred to her thatshe couldn’t do such a shameful thing.

情緒：It was a relief toreturn the extra bill,and too excited,she headed back home,eager to share what she did with her mother.

強(qiáng)調(diào)：She was embarrassed asit was then and there thatshe reflected on the Golden Rule her mother stressed.

2.倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)

完全倒裝：時(shí)間/地點(diǎn)狀語或表語提前+不及物動(dòng)詞+主語：Then came the opportunity.../Then came her turn .../Here/There lay/sat/stood.../Before us appeared a river.../Lost was the opportunity...

部分倒裝：否定詞，so/such...that，表“雖然”的as/though，only+狀語位于句首時(shí)，句子常用部分倒裝。

（1）否定詞置于分句句首（hardly...when...;no sooner...than...;not until...;not only...but also...)，主句倒裝

（2）so+adj./adv.+助動(dòng)詞+主語+謂語的適當(dāng)形式 +that...；such (a/an)adj.+n.+助動(dòng)詞+主語+謂語的適當(dāng)形式+that...

（3）形容詞/副詞/動(dòng)詞+as（雖然）/ though +主謂+主句

（4）only when/if/then/by doing...,did +主語+謂語的適當(dāng)形式

否定詞：Hardly had the girl decidedto return the money when she rushed to Thompson’s hotel and stopped breathlessly in front of the hotelkeeper.

so...that...：So frightened was sheto hear his loud shoutthatshe couldn’t help slowing down but she gathered her courage and said,...

as（雖然）/ though：Frightenedas/thoughshe was to hear his loud yell,she gathered her courage and said,...

3.三種從句

（1）名詞性從句（尤其要注意以what引導(dǎo)的名詞性從句）：what came into sight/what greeted us/what surprised the girl/what scared the boy was...;after what seemed an hour/5 minutes

（2）定語從句：which，who (whom)，whose,where，when引導(dǎo)的定語從句

對(duì)人物進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明：who (whom)，whose

對(duì)事情進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明：which

對(duì)地點(diǎn)狀語進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明：where

對(duì)時(shí)間狀語進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明：when

（3）狀語從句：it was (not) long before...;the moment/the instant;not until...;so/such...that...（=...enough to do/too...to）;as+原級(jí)+as...;...比較級(jí)than...;the+比較級(jí)...,the +比較級(jí)...

Annoyed to see her again,he shouted impatientlywhaton earth she was doing.Whathe heard was rather incredible,making himtoo stunned tospeak.

The instantthey heardwhatthe girl said,the dealers silenced at once,staring at each other and leaving without bargainingas bitterly asever.

(三)添枝加葉重銜接，線索主旨巧呼應(yīng)

銜接契合是評(píng)定讀后續(xù)寫檔次的重要標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。學(xué)生在完成續(xù)寫任務(wù)之后，可對(duì)續(xù)寫內(nèi)容進(jìn)行添枝加葉，如定語和狀語的部分可適度進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充拓展，注重故事前后的銜接連貫，講故事的方式盡可能地符合原文的語言風(fēng)格。筆者將銜接手段歸納總結(jié)為第三個(gè)“三”，這些銜接手段的恰當(dāng)使用可以讓續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與原文的銜接渾然天成，真正達(dá)到以讀促寫、讀寫融合的目的。

1.銜接連貫

（1）時(shí)間銜接

句子型：before doing/before sb.did...，after doing/after sb.did...，after what seemed...，no sooner...than.../hardly...when.../the moment/instant...，as...，it took long before.../it was not long before...

短語型：in a flash，for a split second，just in time for...，meanwhile，with minutes tickling by，with hours dragging away，only then

（2）代詞銜接

this，that，these，those，he，she，they，their，it，its，him，her，his及關(guān)系詞，它們既可指代重復(fù)出現(xiàn)的人和事，避免啰嗦重復(fù)，又能展現(xiàn)句子的靈活性和篇章的整體性。

（3）空間銜接

部分倒裝：on/in +地點(diǎn)...appeared...，behind +地點(diǎn)...lay...，there stood...

（4）常見邏輯詞銜接

though/although，...as/though（句中表轉(zhuǎn)折），however，but，therefore等

結(jié)合本文初稿，筆者列舉了以下銜接句供大家參考。

It didn’t take her long tomake a decision to return the money to the hotel keeper.After runningto Thompson’s hotel for 15 minutes,she stopped breathlessly in front of the hotelkeeper,whostoodwherethey met last time,still bargaining with the other dealers.

After what seemed about 25 minutes,she finally reached Thompson’s hotel and stopped in front ofhim,out of breath and exhausted.

2.與原文照應(yīng)

（1）篇中線索詞照應(yīng)

上文提及三處clues：主旨詞、復(fù)現(xiàn)詞、閱讀時(shí)讓人靈感乍現(xiàn)的詞匯，以及描寫主人公前后情感的轉(zhuǎn)變、主次人物間的互動(dòng)或有特殊意義的事物的句子，本文中出現(xiàn)的honesty；bill/money/present；hotelkeeper：bad temper—soft(gentle/kind)；dealers：bargaining—silent,not bargaining，給學(xué)生提供創(chuàng)作的靈感，使其盡可能地實(shí)現(xiàn)文章內(nèi)容的前后照應(yīng)。

After she decided to return thebill,she accelerated her pace and headed back to the hotel,only to find the hotel keeper stillbargaining with the other dealers.

（2）主旨統(tǒng)一

多元素的組合：如感嘆句、破折號(hào)及there be句型的使用

多元素的組合：①What +（a/an）+adj.+主謂!/How +adj./adv.+主謂!

②There was...;There be...that.../doing/done...;There was nothing better than...

There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other,and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.《哈利波特與魔法石》

下面以本文初稿為例，談?wù)劚疚牡恼諔?yīng)。

多元素的組合：What an unexpected lessonit was—there was nothing more instructive thanthe girl’s remarks that got the bargaining dealers aware of mutual understanding and honesty.

自然結(jié)尾：Desperate to tell her mother what she had done,Susan waved goodbye to the hotelkeeper and returned to her humble home with a light heart.Never would she forget this day through the course of her whole life.

首尾呼應(yīng)：學(xué)生寫作時(shí)在結(jié)尾處對(duì)段首的句子進(jìn)行重復(fù)，可以使內(nèi)容更為完整，結(jié)構(gòu)更為緊密。

尾段呼應(yīng)：Susan waved goodbye to the hotelkeeper,who accompanied her out of the yard to the street,and headed back home,delighted as usual but pride swelling inside her this time.

3.三招來救場(chǎng)

在考場(chǎng)寫作的有限時(shí)間里，在龐雜的試卷信息的沖擊下，在沒有靈感續(xù)寫故事情節(jié)的狀態(tài)下，學(xué)生如何打開思維？如何完成寫作任務(wù)？筆者再談?wù)勅齻€(gè)常見的小妙招，以幫助學(xué)生控制好情節(jié)的詳略，從而實(shí)現(xiàn)其寫作時(shí)不露痕跡地?fù)P長避短。

（1）無靈主語句的妙用：時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)和情緒是構(gòu)成無靈主語句的重要內(nèi)容。

（2）回憶的妙用：似曾相識(shí)的人、物及場(chǎng)景（重要的時(shí)刻及熟悉的味道等）。

（3）虛擬語氣：心理活動(dòng)，如后悔。

But for.../Without...,...would (not) have done...If ...had (not) done...,would (not) have done...How he wished ...had (not) done...

...would rather have done...（but ...was too...）...as if ...had done

筆者從三個(gè)方面探討寫作的不同著重點(diǎn)，但它們有同一個(gè)目標(biāo)——聚焦主旨，細(xì)節(jié)為主旨服務(wù)，否則，這些情節(jié)就有湊詞數(shù)和無病呻吟之嫌。

[學(xué)生續(xù)寫初稿]Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.She was embarrassed as she thought of the Golden Rule her mother told her...從這兩句我們可以看出，續(xù)寫第一段首句之后可以寫小女孩想法的轉(zhuǎn)變及她堅(jiān)定還錢決心的原因。筆者進(jìn)行了如下改寫或添加，其主旨就是“The Golden Rule her mother taught her had a great influence on her.”。

①無靈主語句+排比

Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.Her cosy home witnessedmany times when her mother demonstratedhow she was treatingthe neighbors with honesty andhow grateful and respectful they wereto her mother.She was embarrassed at her hesitation.

②回憶的妙用

嘗試1：Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.Her homereminded her of the unforgettable scene wherea stranger came to thank her mother for returning his large fortune.（似曾相識(shí)的場(chǎng)景）

嘗試2：Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.As she crossed the little bridge over the narrow stream,her eyes fell upon a benchwhere her mother and she occupied and had lengthy conversations.The Golden Rule her mother shared then popped into her mind.（似曾相識(shí)的事物和場(chǎng)景）

③虛擬語氣：心理活動(dòng)，如后悔

Yet,before she came in sight of her home,she stopped.She was embarrassed as she thought of the Golden Rule her mother told her.Had I returned the extra billat the spot,I wouldn’t have been in such a dilemma that I felt torn and kept thinking of it.Had I been honestto return it,I would have sharedit with a light heart without worrying about my mother’s lecturing about my dishonesty.（虛擬和排比）

結(jié)合上述的讀后續(xù)寫巧構(gòu)情節(jié)和潤色語言的流程，筆者設(shè)計(jì)了如下思維導(dǎo)圖，清晰明了地呈現(xiàn)寫作過程中的思維方式和寫作重點(diǎn)，讓學(xué)生知道寫什么、怎么寫，并展現(xiàn)自己的長處。

讀后續(xù)寫情節(jié)巧構(gòu)和語言潤色思維導(dǎo)圖總圖

三、自評(píng)互評(píng)共賞析——自評(píng)促優(yōu)點(diǎn)，推敲共進(jìn)步

在讀后續(xù)寫的訓(xùn)練過程中，教師要明確學(xué)生的學(xué)習(xí)主體地位，敢于放手，讓他們參與評(píng)改。教師要制訂書面表達(dá)的評(píng)價(jià)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，并確保學(xué)生明確評(píng)價(jià)的具體內(nèi)容，使學(xué)生能依據(jù)評(píng)價(jià)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)對(duì)自己或者同學(xué)的讀后續(xù)寫進(jìn)行客觀的評(píng)改。筆者根據(jù)讀后續(xù)寫訓(xùn)練中的重點(diǎn)設(shè)計(jì)了一個(gè)評(píng)價(jià)表，以訓(xùn)練學(xué)生自評(píng)互評(píng)的能力。

表2：讀后續(xù)寫自評(píng)互評(píng)表

在學(xué)生上交續(xù)寫作品之前，筆者往往讓學(xué)生進(jìn)行自評(píng)和互評(píng)。同學(xué)之間對(duì)作品進(jìn)行仔細(xì)推敲，共同賞析，取長補(bǔ)短，相互學(xué)習(xí)，相互借鑒，使續(xù)寫后的評(píng)價(jià)更加及時(shí)高效，更加有說服力，榜樣的力量也能發(fā)揮到極致。同時(shí)，通過參與評(píng)改，學(xué)生能增強(qiáng)自主學(xué)習(xí)的意識(shí)和責(zé)任意識(shí)，這樣也大大減輕了筆者批閱續(xù)寫的繁重任務(wù)量，一舉多得。在這一過程中，教師引導(dǎo)學(xué)生練習(xí)了他們擅長的句式，使其語言習(xí)得呈現(xiàn)螺旋式、復(fù)現(xiàn)式的上升趨勢(shì)。教師可以暫時(shí)忽略學(xué)生的小錯(cuò)誤，放大他們的習(xí)得點(diǎn)，助其逐漸突破重難點(diǎn)。筆者相信經(jīng)過日積月累，學(xué)生的讀后續(xù)寫水平定會(huì)有質(zhì)的飛躍。