張敏
一、策略指導(dǎo)
伏筆,是指在記敘、描寫的過程中,對(duì)將要在文中出現(xiàn)的與中心事件有必然聯(lián)系的人物、事件,預(yù)先做出揭示或暗示,并在事件發(fā)展的另一階段與之呼應(yīng)的一種表現(xiàn)手法。俄國作家契訶夫?qū)ΨP的解說特別形象:“例如在前面寫到客廳的墻上掛著一支獵槍,那么這支獵槍在最后一定要射出子彈。”“墻上掛著一支獵槍”就是最后獵槍射出子彈的伏筆;而最后獵槍射出子彈,是對(duì)“墻上掛著一支獵槍”的照應(yīng)。伏筆種類分為:細(xì)節(jié)描寫、人物語言描寫、情感描寫、環(huán)境描寫、人物交代、動(dòng)作描寫、物件的出現(xiàn)、肖像描寫。本文旨在引導(dǎo)學(xué)生發(fā)現(xiàn)文本中的伏筆,然后在續(xù)寫中去照應(yīng)這些伏筆,從而寫出在情節(jié)上與原文協(xié)同的續(xù)寫作品。
二、實(shí)例分析
(2022年廣東金太陽高三聯(lián)考)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
Sam is a brave policeman who often comes across dangerous situations. However, when he was young, he experienced a funny story during his work.
That was a nice day, and Sam worked at the police station as usual. A rich and beautiful woman carrying a purse drove to work. She parked her car in the street outside her office. When she finished her work that afternoon, she got into her car quickly and started driving home as usual. Suddenly, she noticed a yellow car at her back, whose driver was a man with a very ugly look. To her surprise, when she turned left, the yellow car also turned left. When she turned right, the yellow car turned right, too. When she stopped at the traffic lights, the yellow car stopped behind her.
Gradually, fear came into her heart. What should she do? How could she get rid of this terrible man? To deal with this situation, she decided to drive quickly to the police station where Sam worked. However, she was even more surprised when she saw the car still followed her and stopped behind her. “How dare he follow me here?” she said to herself. She could feel her heart beating faster than ever. At that time, Sam was standing on duty outside the police station. Seeing Sam wearing a police uniform, she was more than delighted that she would be safe.
At once, she jumped out of her car and ran to Sam without any delay. Pointing at the man inside the car, she said a bad man was following her and asked Sam to arrest him. To find what was happening, Sam walked towards the man who had stopped his car near the woman.
But what shocked Sam was that the man didnt try to escape when he saw him. Instead, the man looked relieved. Seconds later, the man walked towards the woman and Sam.
注意:
1.續(xù)寫次數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Para1:The man just smiled and started to tell the truth.
Para2:Then, Sam was lost in thought and began to talk with the woman.
1.梳理原文伏筆
2.續(xù)寫故事
三、靈活運(yùn)用
(茂名市五校聯(lián)盟2022屆高三第二次聯(lián)考試題)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
Navaratri(九夜節(jié)) was almost here! Deepa couldnt wait for the party in the dance hall. Shed wear her special twopiece dress with tiny bells on it. Shed jump and skip just to hear those bells jingle(響).
“I think you should try it on,” Mom said, handing Deepa the skirt. “Youve grown a lot this year. It may not fit.”
Deepa stepped into her skirt and tried pulling it up. Mom made a worried expression and said,“Its too small. Try the blouse.” But that was small, too.
Deepas throat tightened. Last year, Deepa and Mom had flown to India to visit Deepas aunt, or Masi, for Navaratri. Masi had taken Deepa shopping for a holiday dress. Deepa had loved the way the bells on Masis anklets jingled as they walked through the market. When Deepa found a dress that jingled, too, she cried, “That one!”
For nine nights, she and her aunt had laughed and danced in the village with their skirts. And now the dress no longer fit.
“Can we have it changed?” Deepa asked. “We can try,” said Mom. But when the tailor looked at the dress, he shook his head. He said it could only be made smaller. That afternoon, Deepa and her mom went to an Indian store in the mall and picked out a dress covered with little mirrors. It didnt feel special. But it fit. Deepa tried getting into the holiday spirit as they drove to the Navaratri party. But her dress was too quiet.
In the parking lot, Mom opened the car trunk to put away her bag. Deepa noticed a familiar bag.“Is that my dress?” she asked. “I forgot to put it away,” Mom said, closing the trunk. No one would ever see it again, Deepa thought sadly.
As they neared the dance hall, Deepa heard drums beating and people laughing. Inside, hundreds of dancers clacked colorful sticks together in a circle. The room felt warm and alive.
A lady danced past and her little girl followed, jumping along holding sticks tied with bells. Deepa smiled. It was like watching herself with Masi. Later, paper plates thick with sauce were served.
注意:1.續(xù)寫次數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右:
2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Paragraph 1:The girl squeezed past Deepa, carrying a plate.
Paragraph 2: Deepa touched Moms arm and whispered, “I can help her.”.
1.梳理原文伏筆
2.續(xù)寫故事
第一階段
首句已給出:The girl squeezed past Deepa,carrying a plate.
第一句銜接句承上(銜接首句的內(nèi)容):
第二句:
第三句:
第四句:
第五句:
第六句:
第七句銜接句啟下(結(jié)合第二段首句,結(jié)束第一段):
第二階段
首句已給出:Deepa touched Moms arm whispered,“I can help her.”
第一句銜接句承上(銜接首句的內(nèi)容):
第二句:
第三句:
第四句:
第五句:
第六句(解決問題):
第七句回歸主題,感情升華:
參考答案
實(shí)例分析
1.梳理原文伏筆
2.續(xù)寫故事
第一段:
第一句:The truth was that he followed her to hand her the purse.
第二句:It came about in this way -- coincidentally, he parked his car beside the woman.
第三句:When he was walking to his car, he noticed the purse slipped off from the womans hand.
第四句:But the woman drove away before he could remind her.
第五句:He had to followed her all the way to the police station.
第六句:“ To my relief, she must have noticed her loss and drove to you to report her case. ” said the man.
第七句:Until then Sam finally knew the ins and outs of the matter.
第二段:
第一句:“Young lady, apparently you had misjudged the man.” Sam said to the woman and told her the whole story.
第二句:It now dawned on the woman that she had judged the man by his appearance.
第三句:Her face flushed with embarrassment.
第四句:She walked to the man and shook hands with him, expressing her gratitude to him again and again.
第五句:Embarrassed and grateful, she wanted to reward him for his kindness.
第六句:“No, maam, ” he smiled, “my grandmother says a good deed is its own reward.”
第七句:Interestingly, the mans reply still lingers in Sams mind even now.
靈活運(yùn)用
1.梳理原文伏筆
2.續(xù)寫故事
第一段:
首句已給出: The girl squeezed past Deepa, carrying a plate.
第一句銜接句承上(銜接首句的內(nèi)容):“Watch out!”the lady warned the little girl anxiously.
第二句動(dòng)作一:But it was too late, the girl ran into someone.
第三句環(huán)境描寫:Sauce (照應(yīng)物件描寫) split and dropped onto the girls skirt, leaving a large stain on the skirt.
第四句獨(dú)白:“My favorite dress!” the girl cried loudly.
第五句動(dòng)作二:She stood there sorrowfully and refused to go home to change her dress.
第六句心理描寫:Hearing the words “my favorite dress”, Deepas heart tightened(照應(yīng)情感描寫).
第七句銜接句啟下(結(jié)合第二段首句,結(jié)束第一段):Just at that moment, a wonderful idea came to her mind.
第二段:
首句已給出: Deepa touched Moms arm and whispered, “I can help her.”
第一句銜接句承上(銜接首句的內(nèi)容):They fetched the dress (照應(yīng)物件描寫)quickly.
第二句動(dòng)作一:She found the little girl still standing there, with her head drooping and tears falling.
第三句對(duì)話一:“This used to be my favorite dress. You may like it.”(照應(yīng)情感描寫), Deepa handed the girl the dress.
第四句對(duì)話二:“Thank you, it is really a very special dress(照應(yīng)物件描寫), with bells jingling” ,the girl said and sprung to her feet with joy.
第五句動(dòng)作二:Fortunately, the dress fitted the girl perfectly.
第六句心理描寫:Excited and moved, she hugged Deepa and offered her the jingle stick(照應(yīng)物件描寫).
第七句回歸主題,感情升華:Later, they went back to the party, laughing and dancing,? with their skirts jingling and shining(照應(yīng)物件描寫).
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